At A Hen's Pace

News Bits

2012-01-23T11:33:00.000-06:00

Speaking of B21,whose birthday was on Saturday--this young man has lost 50 pounds since last May! It's the 50 pounds he put on while he was away at a college last year. Since he's been home, we've been helping make sure that he exercises daily, either biking (10 miles) when the weather is nice, or run-walking on the treadmill (5 miles) when it's been cold. He's also eating a minimum quantity of food--eggs and rice cereal for breakfast, an apple or a banana for lunch, and a quesadilla around 4 to hold him till dinner. No seconds, no dessert, and lots of praise from his family as we've seen the pound drop off, slowly but surely. Best of all, he seems to have his secret compulsive snacking under control, which should help him keep it off.

He just hit a milestone. He now weighs just under 200, which is less than his college-entry weight of 202ish. We have promised him an Xbox 360 if he gets down to 160. Without a job, he has little to no spending money, so he's very motivated to earn his reward this way! I guess it's the silver lining to his unemployment situation.

Things are moving slowly with the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. He has a caseworker there who is working on finding him a job, but it's a slow process. He had an interview at an area hospital for a housekeeping position, thanks to a friend who referred him, but he heard back from them recently that they are "pursuing other candidates," which was disappointing. Thank you for your prayers for him!

In educational news, B12 and I visited the public middle school on Friday and liked what we saw. He shadowed a friend for four hours, and he knew what was going on in each class, and he felt good about the teachers and the kids. He's happy about the idea of trying it for the rest of this year.

I still feel ambivalent about sending him there, but we had another rough week in virtual school, when all final tests and projects were due, and it seemed like further confirmation that he needs a change. When I pray about what he needs, I keep seeing a classroom, and as I shared before, it seems this is the classroom God is leading us toward, for now. He wouldn't start until next Monday, so I don't feel rushed to submit the paperwork, but on the other hand, the virtual school's new semester starts tomorrow, so that's a decision right there, if he doesn't begin.

On the church front, we had a Holy Week planning meeting on Saturday. Woo hooooo! This year, I am going to have a partner to help plan and execute the readings for the week, especially the Passion reading on Palm Sunday, and the readings at Easter Vigil. I am so thankful for the energy and creativity of JT, a percussionist, artist, sound tech and Easter Vigil coordinator extraordinaire, who moved up here from our old church. We just had a house blessing service in their new home (although it was months ago that they arrived--but what better season for a house blessing than Epiphany?). We just installed his wife, LT, on our vestry, and we are sooooo grateful for them!

Also, something is percolating about a youth group for our middle schoolers who are, like dominoes, all about to begin turning 13. The vision and the leadership are not fully formed yet, and it probably won't really get off the ground until next fall, but it's exciting to see God working!

Twenty-First Birthday

2012-01-21T15:41:00.000-06:00

Twenty-one years ago today, our lives were changed forever.

B21, you broke us in as parents. We had no idea what we were doing, but our hearts were all yours, from the very beginning.

And you've possessed our hearts ever since.

You have brought us such joy. What a privilege to watch you grow from boy to man. You have traveled your own road and marched to your own drummer's beat the whole way. Looking on, we have delighted in the uniqueness of you.

Your path continues to be a unique one. What God has in store for the next twenty-one years, none of us know.

But we know He journeys with you on that road.

Happy Twenty-First Birthday, firstborn. Trust Him always.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will direct your path.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Delight yourself in the Lord,

and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

Says the Man Who Says

2012-01-20T11:59:00.000-06:00

I think I've mentioned that B16 is in a band.

He's in two bands, actually.

His indie/acoustic band is just him and a girl that he's known since infancy. She lives back in IL, where we moved from, but she and B16 see each other about once a month, because her dad drives up regularly to assist at our church. (He's an Anglican priest and a worship leader/guitarist.) They sing in close harmony and they've written half a dozen songs together that they hope to record together this summer.

His other band is a Christian screamo band. If you're interested, there's a Wikipedia article all about the history and derivations of this genre. I found this quote to be the most helpful:

It came to be that the soft/loud dynamic of having either one or two singers who alternate between passionate singing and distraught shrieking that characterizes most screamo. These vocals are often layered or appear side-by-side amid aggressive, hard-hitting guitar licks used to trigger an exhaustive, emotional catharsis. Though the music is outwardly tough and powerful, the lyrics are usually of the introspective kind found in softer emo bands.

This is a great description of what's going on in the song that B16's band just recorded, which you can listen to below. B16 sings the lead vocals, and another friend in the band does the "screaming" (which he's received training on how to do without harming his voice). Though the screaming is an ugly sound, the contrast between it and B16's vocals is really interesting, you'll have to admit. B16 sounds so earnest and heroic in comparison.

The other band members are friends from the Christian high school he went to last year, and they've been influenced heavily by Christian screamo bands like Family Force Five, August Burns Red, As I Lay Dying, We Came as Romans, Blessthefall, Underoath and Descend to Rise. It's not beautiful music, to my ears, but the lyrics are worthwhile and encouraging to these boys, so we're not complaining (much).

And band practice is a good place for them to be on the weekends. They've learned so much from playing together, and writing a song together, and now from the recording process, which was far more time-consuming than they would have guessed. It took nearly two months to lay down all the different tracks, including having to re-record some of them, and B16 had to go in numerous times both for vocals and separately for his guitar part. (He plays electric guitar with this band, acoustic guitar with his other band.) One of the band member's dads was able to work out a deal at a friend's recording studio, and he generously paid the fee so that they could have this experience.

Next step: They want to be more than just a studio band, they want to play in front of actual audiences! They've performed once, at a band member's youth group, the one song they have. So they need to write some more songs and learn "covers" (playing other bands' songs), so they'll have more of a repertoire to play out at gigs.

Who knows how far they'll go? Nobody really cares, at this point--well, maybe a few of the band members--but mostly, they and their parents are just excited about the experience they're getting and the hard work they are putting in!

They're good kids.

Dilemma

2012-01-16T00:14:00.000-06:00

Over the years, I have announced many educational decisions here on this blog: We have been homeschooling, but now we're putting this kid in public school; now we're pulling that one out, sending this one to private school, and doing the virtual school with this other one.

I suppose I could worry about consistency and gaps in our kids' education, but I prefer to think that responding to their needs each year--even each semester--is more important than thoroughness. Especially when I quiz them on things we learned three years ago--memorable things like big projects and field trips--and discover that they barely recall them. So much for thoroughness! Their minds retain the most-used skills and information, plus whatever random facts and experiences stick. I think providing an environment rich in learning opportunities is something I strive for more than consistency.

We're at another of these crossroads, now, where I feel that something is not working anymore for one of our kids. Usually, I feel a pretty strong sense of what they need, and that intuition seems to come through prayer, accompanied by a sense of peace about the decision. Papa R has always been very supportive of me and of homeschooling, and he tends to prefer it for our kids, but when I feel it's not working for some reason, he listens and prays with me about other options.

I am grateful that we have such a variety of options to consider, but this time, I'm really having trouble discerning what is best for B12, in 7th grade. He'll be B13 in a month. He's enrolled in iQ Academy, a virtual school here in Wisconsin, which worked really well for him last year. It was just the right amount of challenge--more and bigger assignments that required more writing and critical thinking than he was used to--yet they weren't overwhelming, and the teachers were pretty easy on the grading.

I thought this year would be a piece of cake for him, now that he knew how it worked; plus this year he has the companionship of B16, who's enrolled in the same program, in the 10th grade. B16 is doing fine with it, but B12 is really struggling with motivation and focus. One assignment can take him all day, or two days. He lets himself get distracted very easily--nothing new, for him--but it's also as if his engine is idling and just can't accelerate when he needs it to. He's kind of mopey. Nothing seems to motivate him. He hasn't been allowed to see his friends for weeks, because every weekend, he still has homework left over from the week. He started guessing his way through the multiple choice assignments, I discovered, rather than looking up the information. So half the time, he's just not learning anything.

He's much more motivated if I sit with him and we work together; but that's not something I have time for every day! I'm committed to doing his math with him--and geometry with B16--because math is the subject they get the most frustrated, confused and lost in. But it's my least-favorite subject, and too much math just fritters away at my sense of contentment and well-being, and then I need a break to go do a refreshing load of laundry, or some errands, to ease the anxiety about all that I'm not accomplishing while I sit and do math. Social studies or science assignments do not have the same easing effect for me, especially when they tend to be time-consuming, and I have to hold myself back from writing the dang essay for him, just to get it over with. But they are the ones that take him soooo long.

So what to do with B12? I think he needs a classroom to boost him out of his slump. Ideally, there would be stimulating teachers, wholesome students and lots of time in class to do assignments, with minimal homework so he would still have time after school for piano, theater and soccer. The Christian school is not known for minimal homework or for a particularly stimulating curriculum--too much memorization for memorization's sake, in my opinion. (Even a retired teacher, who was staying with us once and who helped Blondechick study for a test, couldn't believe the detail she was asked to memorize.) It was not a bad thing for Blondechick or B16, but the cost was steep for what was not a totally ideal educational experience. Plus they put 7th-12th grades together there, and from a social standpoint, that would not be good for B12.

So we have the public middle school, and our biggest concern about it is probably the other kids. B12 is pretty innocent, although he does share a room with a not-so-innocent teenage brother, so I know he knows stuff. But he's a pretty deep pool, and the surface waters are relatively tranquil. They're likely to stay that way, I think, even if we put him in public school. But the wrong friends can do a number on any kid this age.

In the past two weeks, I've discovered that we know three girls in the 7th grade at the middle school that he would go to. I've talked to them and their mothers, and I've heard how much their girls love middle school--more than their elementary schools--and their teachers, and their friends there. "Everyone is so nice," two of them said. "I feel like I'm learning a lot," one said. "The teachers have been fabulous," two of the moms said. I heard from a Christian high school girl that the kids who come out of this middle school are "all the best kids" at the big high school.

So now this school seems like a much friendlier option, and I'm wondering whether we ought to just move him there in a week, when the new semester begins. Maybe plan on having him finish this year there and do one more in 8th grade. That's what B16 tells me we should do. He thinks his own experience going to school for 8th and 9th grade was good discipline for him. He learned he could do more than he thought, faster than he thought, and now he is able to focus and crank out the work when he needs to, and then have time for guitar practice, voice lessons, song-writing, theater rehearsals and other things he cares most about.

That's what I want for B12 too, and I fear he won't have time for other things if he's locked up in school all day. But maybe the short-term pain will be a long-term gain for him. He's not finding much time for other things anyway, when he's dragging out every assignment--and not because he's fascinated and learning so much. Just the opposite--he's stuck in a swamp of lethargy. He is bright, and he's capable of taking an intrinsic interest in a subject, but he's just not feelin' it most days. Blondechick thought he seemed depressed, but I wonder if he is bored. I keep thinking that he'll come alive in a classroom environment. And if I'm wrong, better to be committed to only a half a year.

But he's not sure about starting mid-year. He sounds more willing to try the public middle school for 8th grade, although he's torn because the virtual school may start a new program next year where they actually buy you a laptop and it's yours to keep (and get serviced at Best Buy, instead of by the school). The prospect of his own laptop blinds him, even though B16 pointed out that he could still come back and do the virtual school for high school and get his own laptop then. He'd rather not wait that long, though, although he likes the idea of going to the middle school for one year, maybe. Maybe for 8th grade, he says.

I think he may need more than one year of the structure and discipline that school would force upon him, so I'm leaning toward starting him now, but I don't feel perfect peace about it. He wants another chance to redeem himself and do better second semester. I think he would, and I know I would check in with him more often this time. Since it was old hat to him, and all new to B16, I spent more time with B16 and trusted B12 when he told me he was caught up. B12 insists he didn't realize he had skipped assignments, and while I find it hard to believe, I will check the gradebook more regularly myself, if we continue.

Another possibility is to go back to our traditional homeschooling model, which was a lot of reading, but not a lot of assignments or testing, except in math. He tells me that's what he'd really like. But in his current malaise, I fear he would learn only a fraction of what he should be learning for 7th grade. We have friends that use Charlotte Mason's methods, with the Ambleside Online curriculum, and I could see B12 doing better with that because it would require more parental involvement--he needs the stimulation of other minds right now--and because of the other friend to discuss ideas with.

But he could easily fall into learning the bare minimum with it, too; plus the thought exhausts me, right now. Papa R actually wonders whether he could be the one to take over B12's education if we did this--the dad in the other family is very involved--but we both know that the day-to-day pushing would have to come from me. And with his traveling and responsibilities with the church, PR's evenings are often tied up. Though I'd consider this possibility further for the future, it doesn't seem like a good mid-year option to me--it feels like a gear shift that won't go smoothly.

So, no easy answer this time! We have one more week before the semester ends/begins, and we should probably go in to the middle school and check it out. If that's the way we should go, and I'm leaning that way, I'll pray for confirmation. I already did, once, to ask the Lord if we should seriously consider it, and then He sent me those three girls and their moms, in a period of 4 days.

I'm telling myself it doesn't mean the timing is right, though. Putting him in school next week will shake up our comfortable schedule. He will miss morning prayer with his dad and his brothers--B20and B16--which they've been doing a couple days a week. He'll be gone from 7:30 till 4:30 every day, and he'll have to go to bed much earlier. That won't leave much time for homework or piano practice. Not sure how that will work at all on theater and piano lesson nights--and he wants to play soccer again this spring instead of doing another show, which is two school nights (theater is just one). But it would be the same dilemma in 8th grade, and other kids manage somehow. Blondechick and B16 did, and I know they profited from it. B16 is so much more appreciative and able to take advantage of homeschooling now!

Eh, this is too long. But it helps to ramble it out, so if you're still with me, thank you, and feel free to share any advice or thoughts you might have!

Arrrgghhhh...

2012-01-12T09:54:00.000-06:00

My plans for better blogging are going right out the window this week!

The Bantams 12 and 16 are enrolled in a virtual school, you may remember. They have enjoyed its flexibility to include many other learning opportunities, and in fact, this semester B16 has logged over 200 hours of guitar lessons and practice, voice lessons and practice, playing with two bands and the worship team at church, and recording in a studio with one of his bands. He's receiving one fine arts credit for all these hours, and he's also receiving a half-credit for the over 90 "service learning" hours he's logged, doing set-up and take-down at church, serving on the worship team, assistant-coaching a Catholic school soccer team, and helping another ministry with set-up, decorating and take-down at their annual fundraising dinner.

He and B12 were able to work at the Christmas tree farm, and now they are both in rehearsals for The Sound of Music. B12 has put in the hours on piano, played soccer and attended all-day Redemption tournaments. But NOW the flexibility has ended, and the hard-and-fast deadline for all the projects, papers and assignments is HERE!

It's this weekend, I mean. So this week I've been spending more time than usual supervising, assisting, prioritizing, teaching--and nagging. They're both going to be okay, I think--if they use their time wisely! And if I help move things along a bit on their biggest projects. They just work so much better and faster if I am involved.

***

In other news, it was my birthday on Monday, and I received lots of affirming words on Facebook and from my husband and kids. Some of my favorite lines from my kids:

There's really not much to say other than the usual "I love you" and also thank you for taking care of me, and helping me, and teaching me many good valuable lessons about how to live my life the right way, and stuff like that. ~B20

You are beautiful and fun to be around and I will always hope to be like you when I have kids. People use the nickname "supermom," but I'll go with best friend on steroids. ~Blondechick19

Some moms don't have a sense of style, but you have some real swag. ~B16

I hope that your birthday is very happy. I also hope you can have a rest from helping B16 and I. I am very thankful that you are my mother and I wish I wasn't so behind so we could have some time to spend talking about things we want to talk about. ~B12

I've been feeling closer to God each Sunday and I feel really good about it, it makes me feel more comfortable in my life! ~Chicklet8

The day hass kum to my moms brthday. I nivr miss it.

I love you. I will olwes be her with you. ~B6

Epiphany, Light of Christ, and More

2012-01-06T18:14:00.000-06:00

First of all, thank you so much for all the good wishes and encouragement left for me in the comment box of my last post! It was a heartening way to celebrate six years of blogging. (The comment box is still open; you're never too to the party!)

It's Epiphany, the end of the "Twelve Days of Christmas" and the beginning of a new season in which we celebrate the Wise Men following the star and encountering Jesus at the end of their long journey. Our church was birthed during Epiphany, which is why we named it Light of Christ.

During Advent, the world was in darkness, and we prayed and waited in the spirit of the Jewish nation which lived in expectation of the Coming Light during thousands of years. At Christmas the Light shone forth, but dimly, seen only by a few around the crib: Mary and Joseph and the shepherds. But at Epiphany the Light bursts forth to all nations and the prophecy is fulfilled: "The Gentiles shall walk in Thy light, and kings in the brightness of Thy rising." The mysterious star of Epiphany, "flashing like a flame," is still another facet of the light-motif, a symbol capable of being interpreted in a dozen different ways. ~Elsa Chaney

Isn't that a great image? We use that star combined with a quatrefoil in our logo. It is our prayer that our church will be the Light of Christ "bursting forth to all the nations"--or at least shining into the dark places of our city. We pray it will be a powerful beacon, like the landmark lighthouses of Kenosha.

Tonight, our congregation will meet for dinner and our Annual Celebration. Oh, it's a business meeting too, where we'll approve the budget and our new vestry members. But we'll also rejoice in what God has done in the past year, and anticipate what we believe He wants to do through us in 2012. And it's our fifth birthday, as a church! Lots to celebrate.

***

So I better go get ready. It's been a busy week of appointments, errands and schoolwork pushed off until after the holidays. We had a nice time over the break, first with Papa Rooster's side of the family--his parents, his brother and our sister-in-law and niece/cousin--all at our house on Christmas Day, then with my parents at their home in Ohio in between Christmas and New Year's. My Pilot Brother and his wife and their four girls were all there too, so it was quite the family gathering!

Blondechick is still home from college, and we got to have lunch together yesterday, before she goes back next week to begin a new semester of classes. Bantam20 is finally off the waiting list at the DVR (Department of Vocational Rehabilitation), and we met twice this week with his caseworker, who assists people with disabilities to find jobs. I really like her, and we are eager to see what she comes up with.

The Bantams 16 and 12 have one more week to complete all their work for the semester, for their virtual school. They got behind before the break, partly due to their employment at the Christmas tree farm, and then they weren't able to make up very much of it over the break, with all the family visits. So I've been trying to keep them focused, assisting where needed--and trying not to stress out too much.

Happy Epiphany, everyone!

Six Years of Blogging

2012-01-01T17:11:00.000-06:00

January has always seemed like a good time of year to start something new.

Seven years ago, I read my first blog post, and I was really attracted to this idea of an online journal. It seemed like an attainable writing challenge for me. For a year, I thought and prayed about whether it would be in line with God's will and what its purpose would be. I had just had my sixth child; I was homeschooling, active in my church, and had a husband who traveled a lot. Would it be right for me to spend the time on what was possibly just a whim?

But I couldn't put the idea out of my mind, and it grew to be a strong desire. My husband approved, and I knew that if nothing else, it could be an online family scrapbook and a way for extended family and friends to keep up with us. But I hoped it might also be an encouragement to other Christian women (and maybe even a few men)--something I really did feel called to.

So I made a Poke the Box decision (before that book was written) to just start something, and see what happened. My first post was a late-night New Year's Eve movie review. In subsequent entries, I explained my blog theme, about contentment with the reality that spiritual growth happens slowly when one is busy with a family, and that it happens in the mundane and everyday. (See the sidebar labels "a hen's pace" and "sacred everyday.")

I might examine these threads again, six years later, when the nest feels so different! The pace of our life has increased so much in the last six years, with a move in our geographical location, the added responsibility for Papa Rooster of leading a church, and our chicks spreading their wings and spending more time out of the nest--which really stretches a Mama Hen.

It's January, and with the decision to put our two youngest in school this year, I finally feel like I have a little breathing room in my life. Perhaps I could do more with my blog now. Or is there something else God wants me to put my writing energies into? Just like six years ago, I doubt, and wonder whether that energy should go to my family or my church instead.

But I think God smiles at my chicken scratchings here, and it surely lifts my soul to write. Don't know about starting something new...but I think at least I shall continue!

To help celebrate my "blog-i-versary," every year I ask my readers to post a comment for me! It cheers me to know there are real, live people reading, not just numbers or random google hits racking up on a site meter.

Just chime in with a hello and where you're from, since that's fun for everyone to see. And if you have a question, suggestion or request for me, I promise I will write a post to address it!

(Is that rash? We shall see!)

Blessings, friends! Thank you all!

Books Read in 2011--Annotated

2011-12-30T19:11:00.002-06:00

Abraham Lincoln's World (Genevieve Foster)
Bought this book for our homeschooling endeavors and decided to read it myself, for fun. It’s a fascinating overview of the major events and people, across the globe, of the time period in which Lincoln lived. Easy enough for kids to understand, rich enough for adults to enjoy.

True Grit (Charles Portis)
We’ve had this book on our shelves for a long time, but because of the ugly book jacket, nobody ever read it. It was sitting in a stack to donate to St. Vincent’s when the movie came out, so I pulled it out and read it. Glad I did! Not only did I enjoy this fast-paced story with the compelling narrative voice of a truly gritty young girl, but our edition--a garage sale find—turns out to be an early one that is actually worth something. (I may just have to learn something about online selling in order to reap that reward.)

Yes, I saw the movie, and thought it was very true to the book. I really liked both.

The Apprentice: My Life in the Kitchen (Jacques Pépin)
Jacques Pepin is an internationally-known French chef and television cooking show host. His story began in France, as a boy sent to the country during WWII, who then learned to cook in his mother’s restaurants and later became a chef in Paris. He served in the French military as the personal chef of Charles de Gaulle, then emigrated to America where he's had all sorts of culinary adventures. I really enjoyed this as an autobiography and as a tantalizing excursion through many different cuisines and ways of thinking about food and cooking. I especially enjoyed the audiobook version, read with authentic French accents and pronunciations.

Sisterchicks Say Oo La La (Robin Jones Gunn)
Another little taste of Paris. Part of a series about Christian women who vacation together in exotic locations and become closer to God and each other in the experience. Lighthearted beach reading.

Gideon's Gift (Karen Kingsbury)
Even though Karen Kingsbury’s books can feel a bit formulaic, I really do like how her stories inspire and encourage. This one is about a homeless man with a story that you don’t learn until the end. Gideon is a little girl with cancer who meets him while serving with her family at a homeless shelter, and gives him a gift that unlocks his story, brings about healing and ultimately…oh, I won't give it away.

Between Sundays (Karen Kingsbury)
This is a story about a spoiled NFL quarterback and a woman whose foster son believes that he’s the son of the star quarterback. Another football player on the team is a family man and a Christian who works with foster kids, which brings boy and quarterback together, and ultimately….ah, shouldn't give this one away either. You can tell this story has an agenda, to raise awareness about foster kids, just as Gideon’s Gift was about homelessness, but I like the way these positive, feel-good stories compel you to care. Blondechick loves this author.

Something Rising (Light and Swift) (Haven Kimmel)
I didn’t care for this novel as much as I liked her first two autobiographical books. It’s well-written and deep in the way that it digs into the human psyche, in a way that reminded me of plays like The Glass Menagerie or A Streetcar Named Desire. But in this novel, the characters merely seemed sad to me, rather than powerfully drawn.

One Thousand Gifts (Ann Voskamp)
Is there anyone out there who hasn’t read this yet? It’s a compelling, deep and joyful encouragement to give thanks for everything, at all times, in all places, with the promise—theologically true and research-based—that it will change your life to do so. Ann is the blogger in the quiet corner called A Holy Experience, which I’ve been recommending for years; I am delighted that her name and her message are becoming so well-known! I feel like I am still such a beginner at viewing life through this lens, but Ann's writing continues to shape my mind and heart.

Poke the Box (Seth Godin)
Seth Godin is a creative, entrepreneurial type who has a well-known blog and several books. This one is basically saying, “Just start something.” It would be a great read if you know there is something God wants you to do, but you need some oomph to just do it. It might also get your juices flowing if you’ve never really asked yourself the question, “Is there something I want/should/need to do?” Very quick; very thought-provoking.

The War of Art (Steven Pressfield)
This is another book Papa Rooster recommended to me, and it has a similar theme to Poke the Box. This one addresses the concept of “resistance” to “doing the work” that you are called to do. Pressfield is a writer, so his words are especially apropos for wordsmiths, but his concepts apply to all artists and entrepreneurs.

Both these books raised questions for me about calling, as it relates to writing, mothering, teaching, drama, and service in the church. I have more questions than answers, still, but it’s been helpful to explore the questions!

The Rest of God (Mark Buchanan)
I liked this book a lot. He talks about Sabbath, liturgy, rest and the ways they intersect with real life and work. I read it too fast because I was lovin’ it, and now I want to review and work it further in.

Notes from the Tilt-A-Whirl (N. D. Wilson)
At A Hen’s Pace review here.

Ellis Island and Other Stories (Mark Helprin)
I love a good short story, and Mark Helprin’s are the best. Beautiful, memorable, haunting, ironic, unexpected.

Soldier of the Great War (Mark Helprin)
Like his short stories, but much longer. An epic life story in the vein of Island of the World (At A Hen’s Pace ’08 review here). See above adjectives for Helprin.

The Master Butchers Singing Club (Louise Erdrich)
I wasn’t sure about this one for a while, because early on, there is a disturbing incident of homosexuality--to explain why one character isn’t interested in women, I guess, since it turns out it's tangential to the rest of the book. But I ended up really enjoying this for its strong sense of place and character. It’s about a German immigrant, a butcher, who ends up in North Dakota, gets married and starts a family. Meanwhile, a hometown girl returns to the town to deal with her father, the town drunk, and nurses the butcher’s wife through a losing bout with cancer. She stands in as mother to the butcher’s sons until… Oh, lots of subplots are uncovered by the end of this sober story.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows)
Wow, this one is probably my favorite book of the year. It reminded me of 84 Charing Cross Road (another favorite)--all letters. The central figure is a female author in London. She corresponds with her editor, a college friend, and a gentleman from the island of Guernsey, who begins to share the experience of the islanders during the occupation by the Germans during the recent WWII. Interested in book material, she begins to interview, through letters, other members of the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society and eventually goes to meet them all. I listened to the audiobook, and I’d say that’s the way to go, with different voices for all the different letter authors. Absolutely delightful.

Postern of Fate (A Tommy and Tuppence Mystery) (Agatha Christie)
Typical Agatha Christie, but Tommy and Tuppence were new to me. Apparently they were spies in their heyday, but they are elderly retired folks in this story, moving into a new house in which to settle down quietly. But there is a mystery to its history!

The Last Wife of Henry VIII (Carolly Erickson)
I enjoyed the audiobook version of this story—read by a woman with a gorgeous British accent--which covered all of Henry VIII’s marriages, from the perspective of his last wife. It was written by a history professor, but in a quick survey of reviews, it seems the history buffs think she left out a lot.

The Ragamuffin Gospel (Brennan Manning)
I never read this back when it was all the rage—in the 90’s?--but I’m glad I finally got around to it this year. It hit the grace note hard, which I needed to hear. (Further thoughts here.)

Grace for the Good Girl (Emily Freeman)
I thought from the title that this would be a good follow-up to The Ragamuffin Gospel. It was, and I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t as memorable or as hard-hitting.

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption (Laura Hillenbrand)
What an amazing story. A world-class runner and Olympian serves as a gunner on American fighter planes in WWII. He’s shot down and survives on a raft for months in the Pacific before he is picked up by the Japanese and imprisoned in terrible conditions in POW camps, where he barely survives. On his return home, he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and begins to drink heavily to drown the nightmares and hallucinations. He nearly strangles his wife, dreaming that she is one of his captors. She drags him to a Billy Graham crusade, and there he is saved and released from the grip of his torturous memories. It is a remarkable, meticulously researched biograhy of one man and many others who were part of his story. (By the author of Seabiscuit.)

A Crooked Kind of Perfect (Linda Urban)
I loved this kids' book. A 10-year-old girl longs to be a concert pianist, but is given an organ instead, complete with lessons and the chance to compete at the organ company’s Perform-O-Rama. It’s not what she had in mind, but she makes the best of it. Her dad seems to be agoraphobic and can’t leave his house without anxiety. She discovers at a girls’ birthday party that she must be a nerd. Her new best friend is a boy, who comes over to her house all the time to bake and do homework with her dad, since he is basically parentless. It’s not a perfect family or a perfect life, but like her friend’s smile, it’s cute in a crooked way. I like the way this story deals with social trials and imperfect circumstances in a light way.

Understood Betsy (Dorothy Canfield Fisher)
Read this aloud to the two youngest and we loved it. I promptly passed it on to a psychologist friend who deals with a lot of over-protective, "helicoptor" parents. Betsy is an orphan being raised by two hovering and overly-sympathetic aunts; circumstances force her to go and live with relatives on a New England farm who expect independence and responsibility from the young girl, who rises to their expectations.

For more year-end book lists and reviews, see Semicolon's Saturday Review of Books.

And just for fun, you might also like my annotated list of Movies Watched in 2011.

Movies Watched in 2011--Annotated

2011-12-30T19:10:00.001-06:00

Killers (2010)
I was told this was a cute little romantic comedy, but it was also a spy movie with a surprising amount of violence and death, for a cute little romantic comedy. The all-star cast tips the scale in its favor, but it's still a movie about a suburban couple who, after three years of wedded bliss, discovers that everyone is trying to kill them. Unsettling. Yet cute. Maybe a good compromise date choice. Not a pick, though.

Fracture (2007)
A little intense, but I enjoyed this for the acting, pitting Anthony Hopkins as a manipulative criminal against Ryan Gosling, ambitious prosecutor. You may remember this appealing younger actor from The Notebook. Did you know he was homeschooled?

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2011)
Rather than staying true to the book, this was a creative re-telling, blending events from the book into a new story line that worked well. I won't say the movie plot is better--it's tighter, but not as rich. I did love the ship, which was better than my imagination ever conjured! And the CGI for the dragon and the sea serpent were fabulous.

True Grit (2010)
This is my kind of Western, about characters with heart. The young actress who plays the main character was amazing. I read the book first and found the movie true.

To Save a Life (2009)
We actually watched this in 2010, but I forgot to list it. This poignant story is about a high school boy who commits suicide, and how his peers process his death and realize the ways they contributed to his despair. Yet it offers hope more than a guilt trip. Our teens really were touched by it. (Although this is one of those low-budget Christian movies, it contains mature situations like drinking, drugs, cutting, sex and teen pregnancy.)

Newsies (1992)
One of our kids’ all-time favorite musicals! It's "all-boy," with big dance numbers and a great musical score. It's one of the few Disney movies without a love story. It's also educational, based on the true story of the Newsboys Strike of 1899.

Bride and Prejudice (2004)
A Bollywood retelling of the Jane Austen story. Very Bollywood and fun.

1776 (1972)
One of my favorite musicals. The characterizations of the Founding Fathers are so believable; it humanizes their story and the drama of those days like no other book or movie I know. Our three oldest used to love to dress up and act out scenes from this movie--so many great moments in it! There are a few ribald jokes, but they go right over the heads of kids.

Tangled (2010)
Cute and fun. Maybe the build-up was too big, but it was not as refreshing and unique as I expected; it was still basically a princess movie, albeit with attitude. I really liked the horse.

The King's Speech (2010)
We thought this award-winning film deserved every bit of the critical acclaim it received for its excellence in portraying the true story of King George VI, who ended up as king after his older brother famously abdicated the throne for the love of Wallace Simpson. His leadership crippled by a speech impediment, he sought and received help from an unlikely source who became teacher, therapist and friend.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape? (1993)
I wanted the Bantams to meet the young Johnny Depp, and they loved this well-crafted film. Gilbert Grape (Depp) is a teenager who’s been holding his family together since the death of his father. Their ramshackle house, which his father built, is falling down around them, his mother weighs so much that she never leaves home, and his younger brother (brilliantly played by a young Leonardo DiCaprio) has a mental disability that requires constant alertness and attentiveness. The story speaks to responsibility and love of family in difficult circumstances (There is a housewife that keeps seducing Gilbert; get ready to fast-forward through those parts.)

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)
This was an action/adventure movie with a twist about “maps” of people’s lives and angel-like characters who try to keep human beings on the route of their destiny. It was a little gimmicky and not that compelling of a story, I thought, but fine for what it was.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part Two (2011)
This was such a satisfying end to the series. I loved it.

Doubt (2008)
Intriguing film about a priest who may or may not have abused a young black boy at his parochial school. An older nun, played by Meryl Streep, has suspicions but no proof, and a younger nun, portrayed by Amy Adams, wants to believe the best in the face of reasons to doubt. There is one scene with the boy’s mother which earned that actress a nomination for Best Supporting Actress, and at the awards ceremony they said she deserved her own movie…which she got in The Help! (Which I am eager to see on DVD.)

The Beaver (2011)
This was a strange movie. Mel Gibson plays a father who is depressed and about to lose his family and his company. He dons a beaver puppet on one hand which becomes his energized, non-depressed alter ego, and he will only relate to his family and employees through the puppet. Upset with his own dependency on the puppet, he cuts his hand off, and his depression is gone. It made sense to Papa Rooster as "a fable about idolatry and dependencies, even apparently therapeutic ones which seems to make us more useful to society but in the end are dangerous to our true selves. 'Better to cut off your hand than to lose your soul.' " But the kids and I just found it disturbing.

People Will Talk (1951)
This is a black-and-white Cary Grant movie that was pretty unremarkable and slow, we thought. But hey, it was streaming on Netflix.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (2009)
All six of our children love this movie and quote from it. Now I know why. A delightful kids' movie in the Pixar mold.

Shine (1996)
With aspiring musicians and actors in the house, we decided it was time to watch this with our teenagers. Amazing acting and an incredible true story about David Helfgott, a brilliant but neurotic piano prodigy.

Des Hommes et des Dieux (Of Gods and Men) (2010)
This was a beautiful true story about French monks in Algeria who decide to remain in their monastery and serve their community during the Algerian Civil War (1996) despite the personal sacrifice it eventually costs them. Subtitled and slow, but moving.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
We watched this spoof after our boys played Merry Men onstage last spring. Not full of gay jokes, as you might think from the title, nor as bawdy as one might assume. I may not be remembering perfectly, but it seemed straight-up funny to me. And Robin Hood? He was played by Cary Elwes from Princess Bride ("As you wish")--all grown up and heroically humorous.

Soul Surfer (2011)
More well-done than I expected, still something lacking in the script and/or directing…but you couldn't help but appreciate the inspiring story.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Okay, I hear this is funnier if you’ve seen a lot of zombie movies, but it was my first, and I thought it was lame and disturbing. Blech!

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
Just as funny as ever; more bad language than I remembered. But it’s a comedy classic.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street in Concert (2001 TV)
This dark musical is best appreciated as a morality tale about those who let their appetites (especially for revenge) control them. For our teens, this is like the musical equivalent of a horror movie; they love the 2007 Johnny Depp version. But this version—which is the full score and story acted out, but with minimal staging and props--is vocally amazing, they agreed. Sondheim’s brilliant score never sounded so incredible. Even without blood, it is intense. (Patti LuPone plays Mrs. Lovett, if you’re trying to look this one up.) Not for everyone!

Sibling Revelry

2011-12-28T20:28:00.001-06:00

Ten years apart

(Snuggie advertisement)

Best gift of all for Mom and Dad--kids who enjoy each other!

Best Christmas Gift

2011-12-26T11:16:00.000-06:00

Well, it wasn't under the tree on Christmas morning, but my best gift, which I feel dizzy with relief and thankfulness for, is a new used car. It's almost exactly like my old one, which was totaled just a week before Christmas.

Yeah, it was a little worse than I realized when I wrote this post. So thankful for that airbag, which absorbed much of the shock to my body!

I dithered for a few hours about whether to look for the same car or something else. But all my carefully thought-out reasoning for buying a Prius 2.5 years ago was still valid, and the decision was clinched by my experience with it--I had absolutely loved driving it! To replace it, I would have to find the same model year or older for financial reasons, but low-mileage '02 Priuses are few and far between, I was told by many, and in '01 there were very few on the road. I couldn't even find '03's, '04's or '05's to consider. But amazingly, there was an '02 for sale about an hour away that sounded perfect. Papa Rooster and I set aside last Thursday to spend together for our anniversary, so in between lunch and dinner dates and picking up a settlement check, we bought a car.

On Facebook, when I posted about my accident and how devastated I was to lose my sweetheart car, a couple people said they were praying that my next car would be even better, or be more of a favorite. It reminded me of something God has shown me before: I remember long ago praying with a friend for her autistic son to not only not freak out when the organ started playing at a family wedding, but for him actually to be swept up in the music and enjoy it--and that's what happened! I had just been praying as the Holy Spirit led, but my friend told me later that she felt like it was an important prayer principle to follow--to pray for positive things to happen, not just negative things not to happen.

So I appreciated those prayers from my Facebook friends, and maybe it will turn out to be true. My new car isn't the color I was just delighted by every day, the bluish-purple of my old one. But it's a very nice silver, with more of a champagne cast to it than gray, and I like it. But even better, my new car has both a tape player and a CD player, while my old car only had a tape player. This means I can check out any audiobook in the library! What a gift! And little things that weren't operational in my old car--a broken rear cupholder, a broken door to the storage compartment in the dash, and a burnt-out passenger reading light--are all unbroken and functional in my new car. The interior is exactly the same color, so it seems like I'm in my old car when I'm driving. Best of all, my new car has only 75,000 miles on it; my old Prius had 99,584. Although we still had to chip in quite a bit to what the insurance company gave us--for our deductible, plus--it will undoubtedly be cheaper, over the next 75,000 miles, to maintain the lower mileage car. So maybe in the long run, it will be a wash, I'm hoping.

All in all, the best material Christmas/anniversary gift ever. So thankful to God. And Papa Rooster and I ended up having a delightful day together, even so!

And I am feeling much better. It's now nine days post-accident, and I'm only a little stiff and sore still. Although I took a lot of ibuprofen for the first week, I never felt bad enough to take the time to go to my chiropractor or doctor. It seemed like frequent stretching was what my body needed, and every day has brought improvement. The last two days, I've only needed ibuprofen when I first woke up.

I am so grateful for life and health and God's mercy on me and on my family. And soooooo happy about my new car.

And His Name Shall Be Called Emmanuel

2011-12-25T08:03:00.001-06:00

"God has drawn near to us in His Son Jesus. No longer may we speak of God way out there somewhere or way up there in heaven. He is Immanuel, God with us. He is the God who gets involved. The God who puts on the uniform and plays the game. He doesn't sit by watching us make a mess of things. He doesn't watch helplessly from his throne heaven while we destroy each other here on earth. He sets down his crown, takes off his royal robes, puts on the workclothes of a servant. He takes on our humanity. And in our humanity He humbles himself to death on a cross. Immanuel works and weeps and suffers and sleeps and bleeds and dies. He is with us in every facet of our lives. Nothing is left out of His being with us to save us.

Jesus is Immanuel, the only Immanuel there ever was, the only one there ever will be. When He appears in glory, He will be the same Immanuel who came by the Virgin, who laid in a manger, who died for you on the cross, who comes to you now in His Baptism, Word, and Supper. The good news...is that you are never alone as one of the Lord's baptized believers. God is with you. Immanuel."

(by Robin Dugall)

(Hat tip: Barbara G.)

Twenty-Five Years Today

2011-12-20T09:08:00.000-06:00

We already celebrated 25 years of marriage with a cruise last March.

But today is the actual day!

Sometimes, in all the busy-ness, our marriage feels a little like Tevya's and Golda's, from Fiddler on the Roof. With our anniversary looming, it seemed an appropriate choice for us to perform at the last Light of Christ Talent Show!

A cord of three strands is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12b

So grateful for that third cord, Jesus Christ, who holds us together when we start to fray.

And so grateful for my good, generous, faithful, funny, providing, honoring, wise and loving husband!

Good News, Bad News, Good News

2011-12-19T11:49:00.001-06:00

And the good news is...the cast list was posted, and our kids all got leading parts! Chicklet9 and Bantam12 are both double-cast as Von Trapp children--Marta and Friedrich. This means they will play these parts in half the performances; in the other half, C9 is a Townsperson and B12 is a Party Guest. So he will have to learn to waltz. With a girl. And wear an elegant suit. He will be dashing, indeed.

And B16 is Captain Von Trapp! He is so pleased, and eager for the challenge of a straight role. He found his last role, as the comedic Little John in Robin Hood, to be almost too easy. (Let's just say he and Little John have a lot in common.) He has much in common with the Captain too; he's already used to ordering around his younger siblings off-stage, and now he will get to do it on-stage as well! He is very good with kids, and he'll enjoy working with them in this show.

(The performances are March 1-4, local friends, but we don't know yet which performances will feature the Red Cast. So don't rush to buy your tickets yet! We'll let you know.)

The bad news is...I was in a car accident on Saturday, on my way to pick up Chicklet after her callback was finished. I was heading north when the light turned yellow....and since I was going about 40 mph (under the 45 mph speed limit), and since there was still snow and ice on the roads in places, I kept going. A southbound pickup truck waiting to turn left apparently had his eyes on the light but not on the traffic, and he began his left turn just as I entered the intersection. I slammed on my brakes but had no time to stop.

My air bag cushioned me both from the sound and much of the impact of the crash. I am sooo grateful for that air bag! Both of us drivers were okay, it seemed, and his passenger, a child in a car seat, was too. What a mercy.

Almost 48 hours later now, I am sore all over. But my head and neck are better than my shoulders and ribcage, and I have pretty normal range of motion in my neck, able even to look over both shoulders, so I am better than I was after my other accident nearly three years ago. It was a lower-speed accident and the air bag didn't deploy, so my body took the full shock that time. (I really am grateful for that airbag!)

But I am heartsick about my beloved purple Prius. I am so afraid that it's totaled. Both airbags deployed, and it's turning 10 years old in 2012, with nearly 100,000 miles on it. But it was still running after the accident, and surprisingly, it didn't appear too badly damaged. I expected the whole front end to be completely crumpled, but it wasn't. I think my brakes must have really slowed me down before impact. So I still cling to some hope that the adjuster will find it worth repairing. It's a Toyota, and a hybrid, after all. And it's my baby!

How life can change in an instant! The remaining bit of "good news" that I am trying to soak up today is how every minute of life and health is a gift from God. I am trying not to let my grief over my sweetheart car, that I may never drive again, overshadow the fact that my kids are not motherless and my husband is not a widower. I am not crippled, hospitalized or in a wheelchair. I am trying not to let the financial concerns crowd out my gratitude for God's mercy on all three of us in the accident, and for the blessings of life and health.

I am reminded too, of the Advent truth that no one knows the day or the hour that Christ will return, and we should live as those prepared. My heart echoes that Advent prayer from the first Sunday in Advent, that "when he shall appear, he may not find us sleeping in sin but active in his service and joyful in his praise." And from the second Sunday in Advent, "when he comes again, we may be ready to greet him with joyful love and firm faith."

Joyful, active, serving, praising, loving, firm, faithful and joyful (again).

Lord, let it be so.

Advent Waiting, Earthly Waiting

2011-12-17T10:26:00.001-06:00

Auditions were last night...I may or may not have audition video to post later...but B16, B12 and Chicklet8 all did very well.

All three are at callbacks as I write. B16 is called back to read and sing for Captain Von Trapp, B12 is a potential Friedrich or Rolf, and Chicklet8 will be considered for one of the younger three Von Trapp girls.

And I am waiting.

Waiting makes me think of Advent, yet Advent waiting is so different than earthly kinds of waiting. We wait for the cast list to come out in the next 24 hours or so, but we don't know what the waiting holds. The news may be disappointing, or it may be the fulfillment of hopes.

Advent waiting, however, is a waiting filled with promise. We don't have to worry that at the end of the wait, there may be disappointment or unfulfilled expectations. Even though we can hardly imagine what we are waiting for, we trust--we know--that it will be all good. Christ's coming will be the fulfillment of all that we have ever longed for.

When a baby is born, we wait. We don't know how short or long a life will be. We don't know what lies ahead for ourselves or for our loved ones. We wait through trials, through illness, through challenges. We wait in fear of the worst, and in hope of joy.

And we trust in a God who sees it all, sees the darkness and the light ahead of us, sees it all and is bigger and brighter than any darkness we could enter.

Eyes on him, we wait.

The longest night of the year approaches. But it is as the days begin to lengthen that we celebrate Christ's coming to earth.

He is here now; God with us, Emmanuel.

He will return to earth to judge the living and the dead, to set to rights all that is amiss, to restore God's kingdom in a new heaven and a new earth, and to satisfy all our righteous hopes and desires. He will be the fulfillment of every good desire, the joy we have always anticipated and cannot sustain in earthen vessels. In him is no shadow, no disappointment, no possibility of unfulfillment.

Advent waiting is the anticipation of fulfillment, the fulfillment of everything.

Come, Lord Jesus, come.

Brennan Manning on God's Love

2011-12-15T09:54:00.000-06:00

THIS is the kind of love that gave up everything to come to earth as a human baby, knowing that journey would end at the cross.

Just what I need this Advent, to meditate on that amazing love....

Return to the Theater

2011-12-12T20:09:00.000-06:00

I am so excited. A new 10-week session of theater begins this week!

I really missed it, while our kids were doing soccer this fall. Even though I taught a drama class, it wasn't the same without my kids. And I missed being involved with a production. There's nothing like the thrill and the camaraderie of making that ten-week journey together.

So although we missed the Christmas Carol journey, we are excited to begin a new one: auditions for The Sound of Music are this Friday night! I am delighted that three of our kids are auditioning. Chicklet8 and Bantam12 were givens, but B16 wasn't sure until recently. For me, it simplifies my life when most of my kids are going in one direction, and I'm also happy when more of my own children benefit from the sacrifices of my time and energy that theater requires. I love making these memories with my kids, though, so I'm glad that B16 will be making them with us.

B6 isn't old enough to audition for the production, but he's going to classes with us! He'll be in Our Gang, an introductory theater class for 6- and 7-year-olds. B12 is taking Improv, and Chicklet8 will be in Musical Theater. B16 is going to be my aide in Drama 1. It's a large class of 17 students, including one student with special needs; so he's a good fit, with his experience growing up with a brother with autism. I'll be staying late to teach Drama 3: Scenes and Monologues in the second time slot of classes. I've been busy pulling together curriculum, scenes, and monologues, and I'm excited to teach this advanced class for the first time!

We have over 100 kids enrolled in classes for this winter session of our Christian theater group. It has grown so much in 2+ years! There were so many new families last session. I am eager to see how many more lives will be touched by this program as it grows. And I'm so happy to be part of it!

Collects for the Third Sunday in Advent

2011-12-11T21:00:00.000-06:00

Stir up your power, O Lord, and with great might come among us; and, because we are sorely hindered by our sins, let your bountiful grace and mercy speedily help and deliver us; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom, with you and the Holy Spirit, be honor and glory, now and forever. Amen.

We give you thanks, O Lord, for these heavenly gifts; kindle in us the fire of your Spirit, that when your Christ comes again we may shine as lights before his face; who is alive and reigns now and forever. Amen.

Today is "Gaudete Sunday" which takes its name from the Latin word for "rejoice." In the Latin mass, the traditional introit begins, "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say 'Rejoice!' " It's a Sunday that we joyfully anticipate the second coming of Christ. Instead of Advent purple, the clergy wears rose vestments, and on the Advent wreath, we light the rose-colored candle today.

In some traditions, today is also known as "Stir-Up Sunday" because of the first words of the first collect, above.

However, the collect for the last Sunday before Advent ("Christ the King") is probably the more-celebrated "Stir-Up Sunday," because it reminded cooks everywhere that it was time to mix up their Christmas puddings--which needed to stand for several weeks before baking at Christmas!

Brothers Banter

2011-12-07T19:37:00.001-06:00

B16, who has been snarling a lot lately about his school workload, was in a good mood the other morning.

He was dressed in silky gym shorts and no shirt. A fluffy Christmas blanket was draped around his shoulders as he fried eggs, over-easy, for himself. His brother sat at the dining room table, school laptop open in front of him, engrossed in Garfield strips on GoComics.com as he ate cold cereal from a bowl. His attire was identical to his brother's, but his blanket was black, a fake fur affair that is his constant companion.

"Y'know, Mom, I know I complain a lot, but there are a lot of things I like about being homeschooled," B16 told me. "It's kinda cool that I can wear whatever I want." He grinned down at his blanket and silky shorts. "I can get up and make myself something to eat whenever I want." He nodded at the skillet in front of him. "And I can put on Christmas music while I study." He gestured cheerfully toward the stereo, where his iPod rested, pushing Michael Buble's silky voice through the speakers.

"And I get to hang out with B12." His eyes traveled across the kitchen and connected with his brother's. "That's one of the best parts. We joke around a lot. And I can beat him up whenever I want." He made punching motions at B12's head. B12 didn't bat an eyelid, just kept his eyes glued to Garfield as he replied, deadpan, "Yeah, that's my favorite part too."

"It's a pretty good life, y'know?" B16 summarized, picking up his plate. He paused, fork in hand. "Except for the school part. Now if I just didn't have to worry about THAT...."

It's not the first time that B16 has told me that one of the best things, for him, about homeschooling again, has been reconnecting with his younger brother. They really do have a good time together, and their laughter and joking around are contagious. And hard to stop! It becomes my unpleasant duty to constantly call them to FOCUS. Sometimes they have to separate, just to get anything done.

It even extends to Facebook, where they tease each other, and their sister, Blondechick, at college. I give you the following interchange:

B16 posted on Blondechick's wall:
Mucho PU ablo?

Blondechick:
Okay so I have to admit, I just put that into google to see if it actually meant something and google asked me "Did you mean, Michel Pablo?" STOP you're just trying to mess with me with yer fake spanish words.

B16:
Haha you got me. On a brighter note. "That fart smelled like the fart I farted a couple farts ago." The wise words of B12.

Blondechick:
Oh, how-I-miss-you-two. Monotone, bro.

B12:
Never art thou weak too strong as for the weak are the weak and the strong the strong. Some more wise words that won't do you any good.

B16:
Wise words, my friend!

Blondechick:
Thanks B12, I'm proud to say you have officially become your father's son. Only Dad [linked to her father's wall] has that kind of humor.

So there you have the culprit. My dear husband.

If only he was around to break up the joking during the school day. But he would probably just join in--leaving me with not two, but three unruly males.

I guess there are worse problems to have....

Repairs Needed

2011-12-05T09:23:00.000-06:00

At church yesterday, our teacher spoke on John the Baptist's call to repentance.

Repentance is a word that has always offered me hope, and yet the suggestion that I repent from my multitudinous failures and shortcomings has always filled me with a certain amount of despair. Because I have done that. Many times. And I'm still battling the same old thought patterns and outright sins.

Our teacher yesterday took the opportunity to preach on repentance and turned the spotlight on grace.

He told about a job he'd once had, as an electrician, in one of the most grace-filled environments he'd ever worked in. He told of frying out two expensive volt meters before he realized that the generator he was testing was way over the maximum voltage the meters could handle. When he admitted his mistake to his supervisor, the man said, "Don't worry about it. We'll send them out and get them fixed."

He suggested that repentance was a call to grace, to hearing the Lord say, "Don't worry about it. We can fix that."

And I liked that. Repentance can sometimes, in my wrong-headed scheme of things, feel like whiplash after whiplash: Failed again. Failed again.

When really, repentance is a chance once again to turn myself and my perennial problems over to the One who made me, who knows how to fix me. Way better than I do, though I spend so much time trying.

After the sermon, we came to another collect in the liturgy, which mentions Christ returning as Judge, and my alarm bells started ringing. See, I've got to get fixed--he's returning to judge me!

But the next part of the collect is so perfect:

Father in heaven, who sent your Son to redeem the world and will send him again to be our judge: give us grace so to imitate him in the humility and purity of his first coming that, when he comes again, we may be ready to greet him with joyful love and firm faith....

How do I imitate him in the humility and purity of his first coming? It's like Christ said, "Unless you become as a little child...." It's like the sentimental poem about the child demanding that his father fix his toy and the father saying in the end, "But you would never let go of it." It's exactly what was taught in the sermon. We repent like a little child expecting grace from a loving parent. We repent of trying to solve our own problems and give them to God. We repent of trying to fix our broken selves, and we give ourselves over to the Creator and Fixer of our souls.

And we accept that he may not fix us yet. We may have more to learn from being broken. We may serve his purposes better in our brokenness. We can't demand anything of him--perhaps there lies the judgment. But in the humility and purity of little children, we can be with him, rest in him, trust him.

May he find me in that state when he returns, like a little child, "ready to greet him with joyful love and firm faith."

Collects for the Second Sunday in Advent

2011-12-04T16:57:00.000-06:00

Merciful God, who sent your messengers the prophets to preach repentance and prepare the way for our salvation; Give us grace to heed their warnings and forsake our sins, that we may greet with joy the coming of Jesus Christ our Redeemer; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

Father in heaven, who sent your Son to redeem the world and will send him again to be our judge: give us grace so to imitate him in the humility and purity of his first coming that, when he comes again, we may be ready to greet him with joyful love and firm faith; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Wondering

2011-11-30T10:48:00.002-06:00

I've been wondering how to do Advent and the Christmas season this year. Every year, I want it to be meaningful. It's a teaching opportunity for the kids, and it's a reason to open myself up to God in an intentional way.

But I also want simplicity. It seems like a time to pare down, not a time to add more obligations in a month full of additional services, concerts, cooking, shopping, parties and events. These activities are often meaningful and memorable...not sure I necessarily want to cut them out...but how to simplify? (How to simplify life in general, not just the holidays--I am always wondering!)

I wonder what it means for me to look for Christ's coming, and to prepare myself, like the virgins trimming their lamps. I want to be watchful and wakeful, full of expectation, not sleepy and lulled by the distractions of this world and especially of the season.

I wonder if a key may be found in this verse:

So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed in the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ--that's where the action is. See things from HIS perspective. (Col. 3:1-2, The Message)

I wonder how, in the holiday rush, when it's so easy to be absorbed in the things right in front of me, do I see what is going on around Christ, see HIS perspective? Christmas is so much more than just "the reason for the season" or a remembrance of His birth. Christ came in the manger 2,000 years ago; He is coming again in the future; but He is coming now, continually, always, into the hearts and minds of those who are open and expectant.

Do I expect him to show up in the holiday baking? At the Christmas pageant, at the Christmas concert, around the dinner table? At the mall? In the tree decorating?

How about when the kids bicker over the ornaments, fight over who gets to lick the spoon, or when flu takes us all on Christmas Eve?

I wonder if another key is found in this collect from the Book of Common Prayer:

Oh Lord our God, make us wakeful and keep us faithful as we await the coming of your Son our Lord; that, when he shall appear, he may not find us sleeping in sin but active in his service and joyful in his praise; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

"Active in his service and joyful in his praise." I wonder if the key is not in what I do to make Advent and Christmas meaningful, but in how I do it? Whatever it is?

Eyes up, on Christ, where the action is...while hands bake, trim, wrap, purchase, light...with a heart to joyfully serve and praise?

I wonder.

What are you wondering about?

(This post is linked to Kerry's Nativity Carnival--check it out!)

(Also to Ann Voskam's Walk With Him Wednesdays.)

Collects for the First Sunday in Advent

2011-11-27T15:39:00.000-06:00

Almighty God, give us grace to cast away the works of darkness and put on the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life in which your Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day, when he shall come again in his glorious majesty to judge both the living and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal; through him who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

Oh Lord our God, make us wakeful and keep us faithful as we await the coming of your Son our Lord; that, when he shall appear, he may not find us sleeping in sin but active in his service and joyful in his praise; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T22:15:00.000-06:00

Although I am profoundly grateful for the many blessings God has given me, I don't have time for a profound post today. Too many people in the house, too much fun and laughter playing Uno, Catchphrase, and right now, that mind reading game with 12 magazines on the floor and a pointer, that you keep playing until everyone figures out the trick. In fact, I only have time for a quick post because I figured it out right away!

So from the bottom of my thankful heart comes a Thanksgiving funny for today:

A few weeks ago Chicklet was helping me look through some boxes of old clothes. We ran across an outfit that she wanted to try on. It was sort of a prairie-style blouse, skirt and apron--way too large for her, but she donned them anyway.

"Look, Mom, I'm a pomegranate!" she exclaimed.

It took me a minute.

"Oh, you mean...a Pilgrim?"

Update on the Birthday Girl--Blondechick19!

2011-11-22T11:12:00.004-06:00

She's a college girl now.

She got a music scholarship, so she's been taking voice lessons, participating in choir, and singing with the worship team in chapel. She sang recently at our All-Church Talent Show:

She probably wouldn't want me to post this, since it wasn't her very best performance; she was at the Urgent Care the next day for an ear infection AND an upper respiratory infection. But no one else could tell!

She's planning on switching majors, though. She can still be in choir, voice lessons and worship team, and probably keep most of her scholarship, but she can tell she's just not cut out for the hours in the practice room that a music major requires. She's not thrilled about her required keyboard lessons or Music Theory class either. Music Theory is, in fact, the bane of her existence this semester.

And she's coming home tonight, on her birthday, for Thanksgiving break! Her siblings are excited.

(I call this "the blonde team." Half our kids have the white-blonde hair, and we honestly can't figure out where it came from! No blondes among their parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. Yes, my husband is half Norwegian, but Grandpa says that out of the 11 in his immediate family, only one sister was blonde.)

Mugging for the camera is one of her favorite activities!

These two have always been close. Ask either one of them who their BFF is, and they will name the other.

(It is one of my great joys and blessings that my kids all seem to like and enjoy each other. I don't know if we've done something to cultivate this or if it's just a gift! I think homeschooling has contributed to a great extent, and it's probably the right mix of ages and genders too. Recently B16 told me that one of the best things about being home this year has been re-establishing his relationship with B12--they are enjoying each other a lot. Too much, sometimes, given their school workload--but I am so grateful!)

Blondechick likes hats.

She also likes babies.

(So does B16. A few weeks ago, in the car, he said, "You know, Mom, B6 isn't really a little kid any more. We haven't had a baby around for awhile now, I just realized. I miss having a baby in the house. I can't wait to have a baby.")

She's had her trials. She's sworn off boys for the time being, and she's drawing closer and closer to God. She's learning new things about Him and about herself. He is meeting her in her moments of pain and difficulty. It's clear that He is moving in her life, making Himself more real to her, and she is responding to Him.

What a great "birthday gift" for her parents, to see the child we've loved and prayed for her since before her birth 19 years ago drawing near to her Creator, listening to Him to tell her who He made her to be, what that unique mix of personality, talents and interests is all about. We've always been curious, with her, to see how God would direct and shape her strong will and personality. We've done our best to do that, and it hasn't always been easy. As she grows older, we have to trust God to take over that role for us more and more. To see her responding to His leadings makes my heart burst with thanksgiving.

Happy Birthday, daughter. You are a delight, and a source of laughter and great joy to us. Thank you for being yourself, and for striving to learn who you are in God's eyes. He made you to be a uniquely beautiful gem!

Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,

I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise,

your foundations with lapis lazuli.

I will make your battlements of rubies,

your gates of sparkling jewels,

and all your walls of precious stones.

All your children will be taught by the LORD,

and great will be their peace.

Isaiah 54:11-13

Thanksgiving Plans and Menus, Plus

2011-11-19T12:56:00.000-06:00

I really want to write this morning--it's my Saturday morning time of solitude at Panera--but I also really need to think about my grocery store trip after this, so I can spend some time this afternoon cooking ahead. So I'm mixing menus into this post. Thank God my stomach is nearly normal again--it makes it much easier to get excited about cooking and menu planning!

Tomorrow, after church we have friends coming over for lunch, and I've been racking my brain for what to serve them. It's always hard to have a hot lunch ready after church, and we often do sandwiches or bagels, but we're tired of those, and my friend needs to eat low-carb. I think I'll make taco meat this afternoon and put in in the crockpot in the morning. I can have the tomatoes chopped up ahead of time too, and I'll have extra lettuce so my friend can make a taco salad. Perfect.

If they're still around for dinner, or even if they aren't, we'll probably just throw in some frozen pizza. That's usually the game plan for Sunday nights--a Sabbath rest for the cook (me), easily expanded for guests, and always a kid-pleaser.

Monday lunch will be a get-your-own affair for me and the Bantams, and Papa Rooster if he's working at home; Chicklet8 and B6 will be at school. Monday night we have piano lessons after school, right into the dinner hour, so I either need to have something in the crockpot or the oven...or make a quick stove-top something when I get home. I know--we haven't had my sister-in-law's Baked Potato Soup yet this fall, and I have potatoes we need to eat up. I'll put that in the crockpot and add a salad and those sweet multigrain rolls I have in the freezer. (49 cents a package on clearance last week at Aldi, and they were so yummy!)

Okay, Tuesday, same as Monday's lunch plan...but on Tuesday evening, I'm picking up Blondechick and her stuff from college, and then we'll keep on going into Chicago. It's her birthday, and all she wants is a mother-daughter shopping spree at the big Forever 21, and dinner out--maybe at the Cheesecake Factory, I think she said. I'm sure the Bantams will have finished off any taco leftovers already, but hopefully there will be leftover soup for the gang at home. Then when Blondechick and I get home, we'll all have birthday brownies and ice cream together. Can't believe she will be 19!!

On Wednesday, I have parent-teacher conferences in the morning, and I'm eager to hear from C8's and B6's teachers! It seems like they are doing well. The kids will all be off school, and Blondechick will be there too, so to celebrate, we'll have French toast, sausages, and o.j. for lunch. For some reason, my kids think French toast is just the greatest thing, and I love it too. It takes time to make the quantities we require, however, so we don't have it that often. My parents arrive that afternoon, and I will have one of our eternal favorites waiting in the crockpot, beef stroganoff (beef stew meat, cream of mushroom soup--salt, pepper and onion powder to taste--add sour cream and mushrooms at the end), along with Butternut Squash Soup and a salad.

Then on Thanksgiving Day, I'm not sure if my in-laws will arrive before or after brunch, but I'll make enough Sausage-Egg Brunch Casserole for everyone. I have panettone and stollen to go with that (one of the Aldi advantages is their great European baked goods), and y'know those bags of frozen fruit they have at Aldi? They're equivalent in price to fresh fruit, but already cut up for you, and we like it kind of half-thawed. So cool and refreshing.

We are NOT having turkey, we are having ham, because we love ham, and nobody...really...likes...turkey. (I bought a turkey, for 48 cents a pound, because where can you get meat that cheap? But we will have it some other time, and I will turn most of it into turkey enchiladas and barbecued turkey sandwiches.) I will also make sweet potato casserole, because my kids just can't get enough of it--not the marshmallow one, but the one with brown sugar and pecan topping. Yum. We'll have a green salad with goat cheese, walnuts, dried cranberries and a sweetish balsamic vinaigrette that I make from scratch. I suppose we'll make regular mashed potatoes too, because both grandfathers love them, and I'll also make "red apples" which was my grandmother's name for cinnamon candied apples (just peel and boil apples slices in sugar, water and cinnamon candies--lots, to give it a deep red color--oh, and a spoonful of instant tapioca for thickening). My in-laws are bringing dessert and appetizers, and my parents are bringing pumpkin bread, Amish Friendship Bread, and sparkling grape juice...so we will have quite the feast!

I have two more days of lunches and dinners still to plan, with my parents and all the family home, but I don't think I need to buy those groceries today...this post is long enough...and I need to go shopping and get cooking!

What are YOUR Thanksgiving plans and menus? What super-easy crowd-pleasing recipes do you turn to when you'd rather spend time with guests than be in the kitchen?

Job and Farm Report

2011-11-17T11:10:00.000-06:00

Bantam20 is still looking for a full-time job. It's been disappointing that there are so few available.

But in the meantime, God has provided a part-time job that is turning into more than we expected--for his brothers, at least!

Through a friend from church, we heard about a local farm that sells eggs, pumpkins, Christmas trees, wreaths, "kissing balls," butchered pigs and cows, jams, jellies, pie fillings, candles, veggies, and the list goes on. They are a homeschooling family with five children who are nearly all grown and gone; their youngest son is the same age as B16.

After B20 and I met them and talked about the work--mowing, cutting greens, cutting wires, making boxes, making wreaths and kissing balls, and general farm chores--they offered to give him a try, along with both his younger brothers, sight unseen, if they were interested.

And they were! Flexible hours, being outdoors, getting to work together, and getting paid--who would say no? B12 was especially delighted, at his age, to find himself with a real job!

So they've been putting in time there as often as they can. But the big obstacle is that pesky expectation by their parents, society, and the virtual school that they still put in a substantial amount of time per week getting an education, and it's been hard for them to add a job to that. One week when we had lots of good weather, they put aside their schoolwork to get in extra hours...and they've been trying to get caught up ever since. So they are trying to find that balance. B20 is available all the time, of course, but he's not as capable at some of the jobs, plus they like to have the boys working together, so their time limitations become his.

Chicklet8 is getting in some time on the farm, too! She was invited to come be a helper on her fall break from school, and she happily swept floors, gathered eggs, picked apples, and helped scoop seeds out of pumpkins--and she chose to go back the next day too. She "earned" her choice of any pumpkin in the barn--just in time to turn him into a jack-o-lantern for Halloween!

The mom and I are forming a friendship too. Especially before B16 got his license, when I was dropping off or picking up the boys, I'd be invited to come in for a minute, and we'd hang out in her commercial-size farmhouse kitchen, where there is always a canning project underway. I've helped prep veggies while we chatted about the work, the farm, teenagers, homeschooling, church, health and nutrition, and food in general.

It all reminds me of my childhood, and I'm glad my kids have this opportunity now. I just wish the boys were faster at their schoolwork so they'd have more time at the farm! I am glad their lessons are challenging and consuming, though. I guess I just have to trust that God who provided this opportunity will also help realize it, one way or another, if not in the short-term--between now and Christmas they really need help--then in the longer term. Thank you, Lord!

Video Treat

2011-11-15T10:27:00.000-06:00

Okay. As promised, here is the video from our church talent show of our friend Michael singin' the blues. You will be amused and amazed, I promise!

As I said in the post about our talent show, instead of looking outward for applause, Michael goes inward for inspiration. All the verses were improvised on the spot--they are different every time, his parents say. Oh, and Michael is only 8 years old.

Now, if enough people let me know that they watched this...I might be persuaded to post video of myself and Papa Rooster singing a duet....

Healing, and the Culprit!

2011-11-12T12:19:00.000-06:00

I am healing.

Praise God! And thanks for your prayers.

My probable ulcer has responded well to Nexium--an acid blocker--and a careful diet. And I'm thrilled to say that I've been able to drink a small cup of coffee for the past few mornings! With a big bowl of oatmeal or a bagel, to soak up the acid somewhat.

And I think I've identified the actual cause of my ulcer. The ibuprofen/aspirin explanation didn't make sense to me, since I really don't take much of either.

BUT....

In the weeks prior to my abdominal pain, I did pick up a new dietary habit. Every night, Papa Rooster and I snuggle up in bed with his laptop to watch an episode or two of a TV series. And a few weeks ago, I discovered a bag of Jelly Bellies I had squirreled away some months ago, bought on the clearance table at the factory store. (Yup, the Midwest headquarters are right here in Kenosha County!) Now, I can't snack on chocolaty treats at bedtime, or I won't sleep, but I discovered that jelly beans gave me just enough of that sugar lift to help me stay awake, without keeping me up afterwards. Plus they're low-fat, right? ;)

So I was falling asleep every night with a handful of Jelly Bellies in my stomach, and what else besides sugar is in jelly beans? Citric Acid, Fumaric Acid, Lactic Acid, Maleic Acid, and Phosphoric Acid, just to name a few of the ingredients that might have contributed to an ulcer!

So the moral of the story is:

If you like your coffee in the mornings...don't eat jelly beans at night!

Talent Show 2011

2011-11-11T08:31:00.000-06:00

We like to hold our semi-annual Talent Show near All Saints' or near Pentecost, because both are feasts that celebrate us, the church. So we feast and celebrate the many unique gifts and talents among us!

We begin enjoying the talents of our many great cooks and bakers. This time, it was a soup supper, with an array of crock-potted soups and chilis, bread and a sumptious spread of desserts!

Twelve-year old boys doing what twelve-year-old boys do best.

The two youngest members of Light of Christ, hoping for cookies.

This was the first time we had an art display at our Talent Show.

We have some very gifted artists!

After the meal, we fold up the tables and turn our chairs toward the stage.

Our first-graders led off with simple poetry they had memorized. However, B6 was so overcome with a fit of the giggles that he couldn't get a word out!

We have quite a few budding pianists...

And a couple of budding choreographers!

We were treated to poetry, both serious and funny, original and not. This is our Senior Warden's wife and primary Sunday School teacher for the younger kids, in costume and reading oh-so-expressively from a children's book.

This father-son duo brought the house down. The son is autistic and delightfully unpredictable in his behavior, and it was great to see him participating with a big smile, and coming in right on time!

This couple is new to Light of Christ, but they are old friends of our family from our Church of the Resurrection days. They set up and ran the sound for our show, and gave us an original and unusual composition, Peter Gabriel's "Mercy Street" juxtaposed with "Come Ye Sinners, Poor and Needy." Haunting and beautiful!

But this young man, who sang two original acapella blues songs, was the most wildly popular act of the evening. (Papa Rooster promises me we WILL figure out how to post a video.) The wig was for courage, but the moustache put him into character. He wore a gray one for his first number, "It's Haaarrrrd Bein' an Old Guy." And this black-moustached man sang, "What's Wrrrrooooonnnnng With Me?" And he improvised the verses on the spot! His parents say they are different every time. He doesn't even see the audience; instead of looking outward for praise, he focuses inward for inspiration. It was quite a performance.

Blondechick even came home from college for the Talent Show! With her music scholarship, she's been taking voice lessons and expanding her range up into first soprano territory, so she sang something she had just performed for a recital at school, "Think of Me," from Phantom of the Opera. It was great to hear how much more mature her voice sounds already.

B16 played and sang an original song, "Your Forever." And it's catchy! Darn if I didn't have it stuck in my head for a day or two there.

Papa Rooster and I sang "Do You Love Me?" from Fiddler on the Roof. As a Norwegian channeling his pseudo-Jewish roots, here he's trying hard to get me to say I love him, while I'm busy with my planner and iPhone.

Finally, I admit that after 25 years of cooking for him, cleaning his house, living, fighting, starving and sleeping with him, I suppose that I do love him. (If you don't know the song, do look it up for YouTube; it's such a funny, moving little love scene.) It was fun for us to do, since we celebrate 25 years of marriage next month!

Then my in-laws played an older couple reminiscing about their youthful romance, in the duet "I Remember It Well," from Gigi.

Him: We met at nine

Her: We met at eight

Him: I was on time

Her: No, you were late

Him: Ah, yes, I remember it well

We dined with friends

Her: We dined alone

Him: A tenor sang

Her: A baritone

Him: Ah, yes, I remember it well

My in-laws are former Broadway performers, and it's delightful to see them continuing to do what they love!

Finally, we commence with the dancing. First, our old friends from Rez, sometime swing dance instructors, taught us the basic swing step and the "she-goes" turn and the "he-goes" turn. But things quickly degenerated into steps that even the littlest kids could do.

Everybody got into it, but no one was free-stylin' as impressively as our Senior Warden!

And that's the way we roll at the Light of Christ semi-annual, all-church Talent Show!

High Feast of All Saints

2011-11-09T12:17:00.000-06:00

It was a glorious service.

We had two confirmations...

and received nine new members!

We had a wonderful message from our Senior Warden. (Have I ever mentioned how deep the preaching bench is at Light of Christ? We have SIX fine teachers besides Father Rooster, which is one of the huge gifts from God that makes the bivocational thing doable for him right now.)

It's always a gift to have our Bishop with us.

Father Rooster's brother has started to drive up every Sunday from Chicago--with his wife and daughter often, too--to help anchor our worship team vocally and in the guitar department. His talents and presence are another gift! We are also blessed with a professional violinist as our worship leader.

They performed a beautiful musical setting of the Beatitudes in place of the usual spoken Gospel reading.

And with so many children at Light of Christ, it's always delightful to include them in our special services! They learned Adrian Snell's "Our Father" and performed it as an offertory, so we could all join in with the new tune during the Eucharist.

I love each one of these children, but I have to point out my niece, in the front row, in pink, standing next to B6 in yellow plaid; Chicklet8 is right behind him.

The Holy Spirit visited us in so many ways during the service, but our musical worship was especially inspired. Another gift!

And our fellowship in the Lord continued with a coffee-and-kringle reception afterward, and then a clergy lunch. So good to have our Bishop AND his lovely wife with us on this visit.

Except for this last one, all photography by Bantam16, with Father Rooster's Nikon D700. Didn't he do a great job?

So much to be thankful for!

Hosting the Bishop

2011-11-04T14:15:00.000-05:00

We are hosting the Bishop this weekend. And his wife.

I know, it sounds intimidating...a little overwhelming...and probably pretentious.

All of which is why I get a chuckle out of saying it, because the truth is so underwhelming. They are the easiest people to be with.

And they have a busy schedule, so they're not even here all the time. Well, one or the other, and then both for the last day. And we're eating out several times, so it's not like I have to come up with scads of meals to serve.

That is the most overwhelming part to me, with any visitor. Have I ever mentioned on this blog that I don't particularly enjoy spending time in the kitchen? It's not that I hate cooking...there are just so many other things I'd usually rather do.

I am giving them brunch today. Tonight is easy--we have a soup supper at church, and I did make chili and brownies to contribute. Tomorrow Mrs. Bishop and I will go out for breakfast, and tomorrow night there is a group going out for pizza. I don't know if my digestive system can handle much besides the bread there, but I'm grateful not to have to cook! On Sunday, we are having a special All Saints' service, the Bishop is confirming a couple parishioners, there is a reception afterward, and then we'l have lunch out with the Bishop, Mrs. Bishop, and Mr. and Mrs. Deacon. Sunday night I finally get to serve them a meal, and I know they will want something light by that time--and I won't be able to spend that one afternoon in the kitchen--so we are having tacos. No, that's not a typo.

It's great that their visit falls at the same time as one of our best church events--our semi-annual Talent Show! After our soup supper, we'll have entertainment that ranges from humorous to serious, from piano solos to a boys' band, from first graders reciting poetry to my70-something in-laws singing "Ah Yes, I Remember It Well" (from Gigi). Papa Rooster and I are singing a duet from Fiddler on the Roof called "Do You Love Me?" about a couple who've been married for 25 years. Our 25th is next month, so it was the perfect choice.

And Blondechick is coming home from college for it!

Well, they are here...better put on my hostess cap!

Pain

2011-11-01T15:33:00.000-05:00

What is the difference between having a pity party and feeling sad about a circumstance?

A friend just asked this in an email, and I'm intrigued.

I'm not very good at either one, I admit. I tend to soldier on no matter what, but I've been learning that this is not a healthy or helpful response to difficulty.

And I'm in pain right now. Real, physical pain. It sounds like I have an ulcer, though I tested negative for the H pylori bacteria. So it was probably caused by my preference for an ibuprofen and an aspirin whenever I get a headache, which is a couple times a week. Here I thought I was safeguarding my liver by not taking acetimenophen--although it never worked as well for me--but now my duodenum is paying for it. Sigh.

But I'm not just having abdominal pain; the referred pain to my back is actually worse most of the time. And since coffee, tea and caffeine are stomach acid triggers, I've been having terrible headaches getting weaned off them. And feeling tired, of course. Fatigue and pain don't mix well; they set off alarms in my body that make all my muscles tense up. Then I get tension headaches to add to the caffeine withdrawal headaches.

And I'm getting tired of soup.

And I badly want some of my kids' Halloween candy.

Waaaaaahhh! I think I would like a pity party, after all, please.

But I just keep going. Work distracts me from the pain, and besides, the world would end if I slowed down, right? Part of me wants to just go to bed and read all day, but I can't. Too many events and visitors and obligations and responsibilities.

I just realized that I've barely prayed for myself, for healing or any other need, since this pain began. I have prayed for others, though, more diligently than usual. What's that about?

I remember another time of great pain. It was psychic, not physical, and all I could pray during that time was "Lord, have mercy on me." I had no other words than that. I look back and I still don't see what good came out of those events, except that I learned to lean into Jesus in a way I never had before. I wasn't able to soldier on as usual during that time. I stopped reading my Bible, stopped journalling, slowed way down on the blogging, said no to many good things, and in some ways, I'm still not recovered. But every week during that time, it was another free fall into Jesus' arms, and He caught me each time. Despite my lack of words to tell Him what I was feeling.

I think this time I've spoken too many words about my pain. My friends, my parents, my in-laws, they all know about it and are praying, and that lifts me up. I feel it. But I've probably turned to them instead of turning to Jesus and resting in Him. The other time, I had to keep my pain to myself. It wasn't something I could share with very many people. It drove me to Jesus' arms instead.

We need others, though. I have depended on the prayers of others when I could not pray for myself. I needed understanding when all around me, life was clouded with misunderstanding. I had grief to process, and it helped me to process it with others. But it wasn't pity that I sought or needed; it was strength. Strength in prayer, in encouragement, in perseverance.

Oswald Chambers said:

Why shouldn’t we experience heartbreak? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. Most of us collapse at the first grip of pain. We sit down at the door of God’s purpose and enter a slow death through self-pity. And all the so-called Christian sympathy of others helps us to our deathbed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, as if to say, “Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine.” If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?

I'm honestly not sure what that's saying about Christian sympathy and prayer, but I know that suffering is something to be received from God's hand just as much as blessing, and that in this life, we will have trials. And yes, trials will build godly Christian character like James says. But more importantly, they push us toward God.

So we feel the pain. We don't push it away or deny it's there. We feel it, and we see the pierced hand of Christ extended to us, and we take it.

And we tell our friends what we are going through. Their job is to take our hand, and place it in His hand. Maybe they do that gently, or maybe they do it with a swift kick in the pants, if we need it 'cause we're lookin' for a pity party. Maybe the swift kick is the simple question, "Are you taking care of yourself?" We need our friends to speak truth to us, to be mirrors for us to see ourselves...good and bad. Sometimes we need a meal, or a night out, or someone to hold our hand, but as long as it point us to Jesus and not poor li'l me, it's not a pity party. We need each other.

But we need Jesus more.

Meeting: Taste of Heaven

2011-10-26T19:44:00.000-05:00

I just met an old friend for the first time, and my heart is aching with happiness and a certain sadness. We couldn’t stop smiling for the joy of it, and the tears were ever-present, there, just behind the smiles, because it was impossible to condense lifetimes into minutes. There was so much we wanted to say, to ask, to laugh, to cry about.

The heart knows a kindred spirit. We have shared our stories online—the joys, the disappointments, the sorrows, the blessings…all of it, blessings. And we know there is more to the story that cannot be shared online. There is more to the person than her words in a book or a blog post. Who are you really? I want to know you better.

I love it that some languages have two words for the verb to know. One is knowing about, and the other is knowing by relationship. Through blogging, you often feel that you know the blogger, somewhat, in both ways. And yet, God incarnated each of us into a body, with a voice, facial expressions, mannerisms and other unique physical characteristics. She’s not just a disembodied voice, or words on a paper, or a beautiful soul; it was a blessing beyond measure to meet my friend in the flesh. And to hug.

Today, we had minutes. Someday, we’ll have millennia.

My friend is famous. Thousands read her blog; millions will read her book. Hundreds of people write to her regularly, perhaps daily, and I can only call myself her friend, because I, too, have written to her, years ago, and she has written me back.

And she’s found time to read my ramblings here. She knows about our move to Wisconsin, our church, our theater adventures and our educational journeying. When we met, I didn’t have to remind her of who I was, my name or my story. She knew me. Knew me, and loved me, as a fellow traveler on a pilgrimage. A kindred spirit.

How many kindred spirits must write to her every day! And yet she knew me.

God knows me, in the same way. Billions pray to him every day, hundreds of thousands are born and die every day, and yet He knows me, knows my story, my every thought, the number of hairs on my head. He knows the best and the worst about me, and He delights in me even more than my friend and I delighted in meeting each other today. I, one insignificant woman, am known personally by the God of the universe.

Today I tasted that reality afresh.

Thank you, Ann.

Ramblings on Writing, Newcomers, and the Inconvenience of Soccer

2011-10-22T11:48:00.001-05:00

Well, it's Saturday morning and I left the soccer games early so I could have a cup of coffee in the warmth of Panera and write a post about how wonderful it is that it's the last day of soccer! I would have stayed and watched except I'm hosting as many as 30 people for lunch tomorrow after church, and I still need to finish cleaning, order subs, make salad dressing, wash 10 pounds of grapes, clear off the school room table and make sure the kids vacuum, dust and clean the bathrooms.

It will be our last of three "Get to Know Light of Christ" luncheon meetings for nine newcomers who are exploring membership, and it's been so good to get to know these folks better! We continue to be amazed and so grateful to God for how He keeps sending us the most interesting and delightful people, with gifts, talents and interests that complement our existing core in the neatest ways.

On the way here, though, I decided I didn't want to write back-to-back posts about soccer. Plus I think Papa Rooster is taking more photos this morning.

Instead, I wondered why I didn't write a post this past week. I really wanted to. I had ideas. I even had time, I think. I'm just not sure how to fit writing back in to my life.

Back in the days when I posted almost daily, I used to write in the mornings, before I woke up the kids to start our homeschooling day, or late at night, when keeping up my blog was my final and most enjoyable obligation of the day.

Now, my alarm rings at 7, and I'm busy until the two youngest get on the bus at 8:25. Then the three oldest boys get up, and the day shifts into full speed as we figure out the day's schedule, I remind them of chores and responsibilities, and they enlist my help with errands and school. By then, I'm in the "git 'er done" groove and my energy naturally turns to cleaning, straightening up, laundry, emails, phone calls, proofreading essays, explaining geometry, managing mail and paper...every day I cross three items off the to-do list and add five. You know.

At night, Papa Rooster and I have a routine of the last year or so, of getting in bed by 9:30 or 10 and then watching a 45-minute show or two on his laptop. It's cozy and comfortable to end our day that way together, and I miss it when he's traveling. But I also miss my late-night reflection time that I used to get while he read himself to sleep and I typed away. However, far too often I would stay up too late and pay for it the next day, so I appreciate the regular bedtime that our routine ensures.

But when to write?

I've always relied on our theater class and rehearsal schedule to give me a certain number of hours a week, but now I'm teaching a class, which takes away that slot, and my kids are doing soccer instead. While theater rehearsals are 3-4 hours long, soccer practices are only 1-1.5 hours, and some nights they are staggered so that one starts and ends a half hour after the other, and the practice fields are on opposite sides of town.

Which brings me back to celebrating the last day of soccer, anyway! Woo-hoo!

I suppose I just need to make appointments with myself, put them on my calendar and tell my family I'm unavailable for that hour or so. What was it that that one famous author said? Google tells me it was Somerset Maugham, who said, "I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o'clock sharp."

Further questions arise, though. How to put inspiration on hold when my allotted time is up? And where to focus my writing energies? Should I build my blog? Query magazines for articles? Dare to write a book proposal? If I'm going to spend more time on writing, I guess I want to make it count.

So I think about writing, instead of writing. Guess I should just start writing.

Ahhh, thanks for listening. I think that helped.

But my allotted time is up. The grapes and the dust await!

Soccer Ball, Soccer Fall

2011-10-15T14:43:00.002-05:00

I could also have titled this post, "Suckers for Soccer." It sure has taken over our lives for the last 9 weeks!

But it has afforded Papa Rooster many opportunities to practice capturing action shots, and he's become so good at it, it's tough to choose just a few. Especially with four kids playing this year!

(You can click to enlarge any of these great shots.)

Since B16 isn't attending a brick-and-mortar school this year, he joined the recreational league to keep up his skilz. He's managing to hold his own playing with varsity girls who are there for the same reason, since their season is in the spring.

BOOM!! This solid kick was one of 5 goals he made in this game.

B12's team moved up to the biggest field this year, so he spends a lot of time running.

The tongue spends a lot of time out of the mouth, too.

Here he gets a foot on the ball. Isn't his body at a beautiful angle?

This is Chicklet's first time playing competitively, and she is determined!

She also has the tongue thing goin' on.

She also has kind of a ballerina thing goin' on with her arms...

And it's workin' for her!

B6 is in his element on the soccer field.

Such energy!

They've been working on passing. B6 used to be something of a ball hog, but he's really getting it. Today he was proud to tell me about a team-mate who made his first goal today because B6 passed it to him and gave him a chance.

He loves to use his body.

He also has the tongue thing going on.

I don't have a pic of B16 to post as an example, but trust me, it's a family trait!

Who is the foolish-looking woman in the background? That would be me.

(I just can't stop chuckling over this incredibly flattering photo!)

GOAL!!

Nothin' but net. And yes, that was my boy who kicked it in.

But he's just as exuberant when it's his team-mate who gets the goal.

I could do a whole post on the many faces of B6.

But maybe I'll just save those photos for next Saturday, our last day of games.

Yes, I am counting down the days!

Sabbatical??

2011-10-12T09:13:00.001-05:00

My friends keep asking me, with big grins and voices dripping with irony, "So--how that's sabbatical going?"

It's true: I'm still really busy. But I KNEW I would be. In fact, I could have been planning a wedding in addition to all I'm doing now, and without my "sabbatical," I'd be homeschooling on top of everything else.

So it's actually been a pretty manageable fall.

And it's about to become even more doable in ten days, when soccer is over! Then we'll have 8 weeks before auditions for the winter show, when theater will replace soccer as our big activity. Except the time commitment is about half, and the running-around factor is exponentially decreased. (One place, three times vs. seven places, ten times.)

Even better--and for the last two weeks of soccer--I finally have another driver! B16 passed his road test last week, and now he can drive himself to guitar, voice, soccer, soccer coaching, and band practice...and help me out with the younger kids' activities as well.

That's going to help me a lot.

Meanwhile, I'm still home educating. The Bantams 16 & 12 are rockin' the virtual school--keeping up well and getting decent grades--but I'm the geometry tutor that B16 is going to need all year, I'm afraid. He doesn't need my help at all with English or Spanish, and only occasionally for history or physical science, but math has always been his downfall. Sigh. I liked geometry in high school--it was so much more interesting than algebra--but that doesn't mean I'm eager to re-learn it.

So far, so good with the two youngest in public school. They both have excellent teachers, and they're learning good stuff and are motivated to learn. I am pleased that they have hardly any homework, except reading aloud, so we have time for flashcards and me reading to them. I knew Chicklet would probably suffer as a third grader who didn't know her math facts, but whenever we worked on them last year, she just didn't retain them. This year, she has a test every Wednesday on her "fridge facts" for the week, so she's finally learning them. She's excelling in other areas, but like her big brother, math is her bugaboo. It's also her favorite subject, she says. Go figure.

B6 is doing just fine emotionally, now. He still tells me he misses me, but only occasionally. The only thing he asks about on a daily basis is whether it's a regular day or a short day. Every Wednesday, they get out one hour early, so he has to keep straight what day that is.

So I'm enjoying my sabbatical, being busy...but not as busy as I could be! I've even started adding cooking back in to my life. Not my favorite way to spend my time, but my family sure appreciates it. With soccer ending, and my new driver, I may even find time for true sabbatical activities.

I'm not even sure what those would be. The things I've always liked to do, I suppose. Reading, writing, maybe a decorating or organizing project. Spending more time with my husband. Reading more to the kids. Having friends over for dinner. No grand plan.

Just more of the good stuff.

Alpha Mass

2011-10-08T08:44:00.001-05:00

Tonight, Papa Rooster, B16 and I are singing with the Choral Arts Society of Southeastern Wisconsin, at a church in Racine. You actually would have to pay to come hear us! We've been practicing with them for the past six Tuesday nights.

The director of this group is a new friend of ours; he and his wife have been coming to our church for the past six months or so. He was so excited about this piece--Glenn Burleigh's Alpha Mass--that I expressed interest, and he invited not just me, but Papa Rooster and any of our teens, to join his choir for this special performance.

Alpha Mass is a traditional choral mass following the Latin form, with a Kyrie, a Sanctus, a Gloria, an Alleluia and other elements like a Credo and a setting of the Lord's Prayer. But the music is in a non-traditional gospel style, often easing into something more like a spiritual or a gospel hymn, accompanied by a jazz ensemble of piano, organ, bass and percussion.

Oh, here is an article all about it.

I've never sung gospel before, and I'm really enjoying it! I'm singing second soprano, and mostly it's melody with the firsts, so I've had it pretty easy. Papa Rooster is pushing himself to reach the first tenor notes and find those difficult harmonies, since that section needs the most help, and B16 is sitting with the second tenors and singing what he can. He wasn't particularly eager to join us at first, but we knew it would be such a good experience for him that we provided an incentive, and he's warmed up to the group and to the task as we've gone along. We've all been so impressed with the director and how inspirational and helpful he is! Wow, does he ever know how to draw out the best in a group, and lead you safely through a complicated score.

I woke up this morning with one of the sections stuck in my head--words of joyful praise and affirmation. I'm so excited for tonight!

If it had been Mother,
Who opened doors when doors were closed for me,
I'd give her the praise.
I'd give her the praise.
If it had been Father, Sister, Brother,
Who set my spirit free,
I'd give 'em the praise.
I'd give 'em the praise.

But it was Jesus,
Who opened doors when doors were closed for me,
I'll give Him the praise.
I'll give Him the praise.
But it was Jesus,
Who opened doors and set my spirit free,
I'll give Him the praise.
I'll give Him the praise.

Let's give Him the glory...
Glory...
Due His name!

Let's give Him the glory...
Glory...
Due His name!

Joseph, the Problem of Evil, and a Book Review

2011-10-06T08:57:00.001-05:00

"Come closer to me," Joseph said to his brothers. They came closer. "I am Joseph your brother whom you sold into Egypt. But don't feel badly, don't blame yourselves for selling me. God was behind it. God sent me here ahead of you to save lives. There has been a famine in the land now for two years; the famine will continue for five more years—neither plowing nor harvesting. God sent me on ahead to pave the way and make sure there was a remnant in the land, to save your lives in an amazing act of deliverance. So you see, it wasn't you who sent me here but God.

~Genesis 45:4-8, The Message

This past summer, while I was in the musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, I read Joseph's story in Genesis from my new copy of The Message. It's one of my very favorite Bible stories.

I admit to some unsettling thoughts, though, as I read the passage above. I was expecting the famous "What you meant for evil, God intended for good" line; it actually comes later, after Jacob dies and the brothers worry that with their father gone, Joseph will now take his revenge. Instead, Joseph is all excited about how God is saving a remnant from the terrible famine that has only just begun...and all I could think was, if I were Joseph, wouldn't I be wondering why God didn't just send rain?

Of course, from my vantage point, I can see the bigger picture of how God used the famine to get the whole nation of Israel relocated to Egypt, so that they could eventually become enslaved and then rescued from bondage. It's the most significant incident in Jewish history and identity, and the informing metaphor of salvation.

I can see that, but Joseph?

From the typical American perspective, it's hard not to imagine Joseph's suffering during those lost years, imprisoned, enslaved, ripped away from his family and home before he was even old enough to join his brothers in the fields. All that time gone, all those potential childhood memories, opportunities, education erased from his youth. Sure, he ended up in a position of power and what he had lost was restored, but at what personal cost? He could never have those years back.

Couldn't God just have sent some rain?

These are the kinds of questions my kids ask me all the time. Couldn't God just (fill in the blank)? Our perspective is so small.

Around the same time, I read Notes from the Tilt-A-Whirl, by N.D. Wilson. It's a kaleidoscopic look at the world, at God, at good and evil and faith and suffering--and it's extremely well-written and exceedingly funny. I haven't enjoyed a non-fiction book so much in ages, although half the time I was only guessing at what he was saying. It's helpful if you've had at least an introduction to philosophy, and like all philosophy, it's helpful if you read it fast, and then go back for the finer points.

As he says in the preface: "This book does not go straight. It is not a road in Wyoming. ...It attempts to find unity in cacophony. The barrage of elements (philosophy, poetry, theology, narrative, ad nauseum) may at times feel random. ...It is intended to be symphonic: dissimilar voices and instruments moving from dissonance to harmony. ...Like the earth and the Tilt-A-Whirl, you will end at a beginning."

And it refreshed my faith that in the midst of suffering, we don't have to understand why or obsess about the personal cost to ourselves. In fact, we take ourselves way too seriously. Like hobbits, he says, we are in the midst of an epic story, and we can trust the Author of the story. Just like Joseph.

N.D Wilson wraps up a section exploring different views of God and death:

Three postcards await our perusal, yea, three visions of the world.

One: I see a theme park where there are lots of rides, but there is nobody who can control them and nobody who knows how the rides end. Grief counseling, however, is included in the price of admission.

Two: I see an accident. An explosion of some kind inhabited by happenstantial life forms. A milk spill gone bacterial, only with more flame. It has no meaning or purpose or master. It simply is.

Three: I see a stage, a world where every scene is crafted. Where men act out their lives within a tapestry, where meaning and beauty exist, where right and wrong are more than imagined constructs. There is evil. There is darkness. There is the Winter of tragedy, every life ending, churned back in the soil. But the tragedy leads to Spring. The story does not end in frozen death. The fields are sown in grief. The harvest will be reaped in joy. I see a Master's painting. I listen to a Master's prose.

On our role in the story:

Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?

...Who sinned, this little bit of black oil paint or its parent elements, that it would be used by Rembrandt to do the dark scary bits beneath the windmill?

If you are a glop of blue paint, blessed to be sitting in the sky overlooking Van Gogh's sunflowers, are you there by any effort or righteousness of your own? Why are you not more grateful?

...The problem of evil is a genuine problem, an enemy with sharp pointy teeth. But it is not a logical problem. It is an emotional one, an argument from Hamlet's heartache and from ours. It appeals to our pride and our nerve endings. We do not want to hear an answer that puts us so low. But the answer is this: we are very small.

And a lot of the rest of the book is about how small we really are, and how grateful we can be for that, and how much we can trust the Creator of it all, the Author of the story. The book is also full of wonder and appreciation for the amazing and miraculous world we live in, the story that is played out all around us in creation and in our everyday lives. It echoed Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts in its emphasis on seeing, sensing and appreciating the world around us. Notes from the Tilt-A-Whirl is zanier and funnier, but heart-stopping in a similar way in its breathtaking descriptions of beauty in the world.

So, back to Joseph. I think Joseph trusted God completely with the big picture. Sure, God could have sent rain. He could have thought of some other way to get the nation of Israel down to Egypt. But the Author of the story wrote this role for Joseph...and Joe didn't balk at playing his part, even if he was a victim.

Do we really want to skip straight to the last chapter? Or do we want the whole novel, tension, struggle, conflict and all?

God didn't leave him there.

Unhealthy Guilt

2011-09-29T12:55:00.000-05:00

I think God has been trying to get something through to me.

It's in books I'm reading, sermons I'm hearing, video ads I'm viewing, conversations I'm having, counsel I am receiving. I am beginning to get the message, I think, although it has a ways to go to sink down from head to heart. I'm not even certain of all the implications. But I think God is telling me I'm looking at myself the wrong way.

I'm not a sinner, in need of God's mercy and grace. I'm a sinner, already saved by grace.

The distinction is subtle, but critical. The first perspective puts the burden on me, the sinner, to come to God, to repent, to ask for what I need. The second viewpoint puts the emphasis on God, on what He has already done, and not just for me, but for all sinners who have put their trust in Him. It's not even something that "I just need to embrace," as I wanted to write just now. It's already embracing me. If there is anything I need to do, it's just to be thankful.

As Brennan Manning says in The Ragamuffin Gospel:

The saved sinner is prostrate in adoration, lost in wonder and praise. He knows repentance is not what we do in order to earn forgiveness; it is what we do because we have been forgiven. It serves as an expression of gratitude rather than an effort to earn forgiveness. Thus the sequence of forgiveness and then repentance, rather than repentance and then forgiveness, is crucial for understanding the gospel of grace.

Growing up in a tradition that didn't emphasize regular repentance, there was something about weekly confession in the liturgical service that appealed to me, that felt right and good. I'd like to say that it was an expression of gratitude, as Manning says, but in hindsight, I'm thinking it appealed more to the "good girl" in me, looking for ways to please God and earn his approval...and my own.

I'm not sure what it is in me that thinks I must earn what I could just have...or thinks I need to judge whether I deserve it or not. But it's been a revelation to discover that in fact, that's what I've been doing...when I could just delight in what is already mine.

For those who feel their lives are a grave disappointment to God, it requires enormous trust and reckless, raging confidence to accept that the love of Christ knows no shadow of alteration or change. (Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel)

More pleasing to Me than all your prayers, works and penances is that you would believe I love you. ~Jesus' words to Marjory Kempe in 1667 (quoted by Manning, TRG)

Preoccupation with self is always a major component of unhealthy guilt and recrimination. It stirs our emotions, churning in self-destructive ways, closes us in upon the mighty citadel of self, leads to depression and despair, and preempts the presence of a compassionate God. The language of unhealthy guilt is harsh. It is demanding, abusing, criticizing, rejecting, accusing, blaming, condemning, reproaching, and scolding. It is one of impatience and chastisement. Christians are shocked and horrified because they have failed. (Manning, TRG)

That's me...so upset with myself because I fail on a daily basis. I fail to be the wife, the mother, the daughter, the neighbor, the pastor's wife, the parent, the teacher I feel I could and should be. And how else am I going to be any better, I think, if I don't reproach and scold myself about the ways I fall short?

Turns out there is a way of grace and freedom that I'm only beginning to glimpse.

The moment the focus of your life shifts from your badness to his goodness and the question becomes not "What have I done?" but "What can he do?" release from remorse can happen; miracle of miracles, you can forgive yourself because you have been forgiven, accept yourself because you are accepted, and begin to start building up the very places you once tore down. There is grace to help in every time of trouble. That grace is the secret to being able to forgive ourselves. Trust it. ~John R Claypool (quoted by Manning, TRG)

I think that's where I'll leave it. I'm not very far down this road yet. I'm only just beginning to heal, to build up a layer or two in those places I've been tearing down for so long. And I'm grateful, in a way I haven't quite experienced before.

Thank you, Lord.

B6, Man of (Suddenly) Many Words

2011-09-23T09:18:00.000-05:00

My little boy is doing better.

The tears diminished pretty quickly, first at school, then at home. The cross I sent with him helped. (Thanks for that suggestion, dear reader!) First it was on a leather string around his neck; then, after the cheap metal loop pulled apart twice, we put it in his pocket. Then one morning, he didn't know where it was. He was sure it had made it home, but after that, he couldn't remember. But he's been okay, getting on the bus without it these last few mornings.

But oh, the questions! What heartbreakers!

Why do kids have to go to school?

Why does it have to be so long?

Why do you have to go to school right when you get up, and then when you get home, it's such a short time until you have to go to bed?

When you were little, did you miss your mom when you were at school?

Do you miss me while I'm at school?

Does it seem to you like I'm gone for a long time when I'm at school?

Why doesn't B12 have to go to school?

When you were in first grade, what was it like on your first day of school?

He's been asking lots of "When you were little, Mom" questions--the first child of mine that really showed great interest in my history! However, I think what's behind it is a desire for me to relate to what he is going through.

What's so interesting to me about this flood of questions is that B6, up until now, hasn't really been much of a talker. In fact, when he was younger, we wondered if he was going to have some speech issues because it was slow in coming, and he occasionally stutters a bit. Mainly he's just been a young man of action, not words--rough and tumble and energetic and vigorous in all he does. He's the kid with the engine!

Suddenly he's talking all the time--about his feelings, his questions, and his thoughts, random though they might be. "You know, Mom, fences are a really good idea. [Why, B6?] Because if a robber came, and he had a flamethrower, and you saw him, then he could set the fence on fire instead of your house."

Yesterday he told me and B16 about something that happened at a friend's house, and he said the mom was demonstrating how to use something. B16 looked at me with a wide grin and said, "Hey, he just said 'demonstrating'!" I know some 3-year-olds use words like that every day, but that was a silver-dollar word for our B6!

So this emotional thing he's going through has suddenly turned him into a talker and a question-asker, overnight. It seems to be his way of processing. He hasn't been talking about school, really--mostly about his feelings or asking about mine. Until the other night, when I was trying to get him to bed early and laid down next to him in the bed, in the dark. It was just him and me; Chicklet was staying up to practice piano. He asked questions about my experiences in first grade; then he started telling me about his--about getting in trouble for running into someone and knocking them down [typical B6!], about other kids who did really bad things, like kick and pinch, and how one of them kicked him, and what the teacher did, and how those two kids don't always come to school.

The most amusing thing he shared was about two other kids that he clearly respected greatly. "They already know everything, Mom. They were in first grade last year already!" He went on and on, talking and asking questions. Looking deep into my eyes, he asked, "When you were in first grade, did you wear glasses?" I took a lot of time with him, patiently listening and answering his questions, and still he didn't run out of words. I finally had to cut him off when Chicklet appeared in the doorway, sobbing, over-tired and frustrated with her piano pieces. He was still talking as I kissed him goodnight and told him to go to sleep.

I'm so glad he's talking to me. I'm glad he's processing his feelings; it seems pretty healthy, that he's getting it all out. And it's been delightful to finally get a glimpse inside that tough little blond head. There's a lot more deep stuff going on in there than I would have guessed!

Light of Christ Update

2011-09-20T09:20:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile, hasn't it?

I thank my God every time I remember you.

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy

because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.
Philippians 1:3-5

This is how I feel about Light of Christ! How thankful I am for the committed partnership of so many good folks at our church. We have been so blessed, from the beginning right up till now.

And in the past six months, God has sent us more good people! About eight new regulars--all singles and couples with no kids, which helps to skew our demographic a bit more in the adult direction, although we are still may be more than 50% kids. We also enjoy our random visitors, plus a few folks who just occasionally show up yet again.

If all the regulars, semi-regulars and visitors all end up at church on the same day, it's starting to feel a bit full in our regular meeting space, the Kemper Chapel. So one of our new developments is a committee (appointed by the vestry--ah, so thankful for a vestry to oversee these things!) to look at our space needs and begin to nose around Kenosha for other possible spaces for us to worship in. It's my personal hope that we can find space that we can rent full-time, rather than just on Sunday mornings, so that we can have weekly activities and meetings at the church facility, leave our sound system up during the week for music rehearsals, and have a sign out front, so that we become more of a geographical presence in the community. (There are plenty of other things on my wishlist, too!)

Another exciting thing is that two of our new members are actually old friends! We all used to attend our old church, Church of the Resurrection, together, and they were actively involved in leadership there right up to the day they moved to Kenosha. (Actually, they were still phasing out even after they moved.) We are so excited by the gifts, talents, leadership and friendship they bring. It's so good to have them here.

The husband has immense experience doing sound, and this past Sunday, he set up and ran our soundboard like it needs to be run! We've been setting levels and hoping for the best, with mixed results; sometimes the congregation can hear the singers/guitar/piano, sometimes they can't. I have been singing with the worship team a couple times a month, and it was great this morning to have the sound in such good hands. What a difference!

On a sad note, we are probably losing one family, but it's to a great job opportunity and a chance for them to move to an area where they can do more urban ministry, which is on their hearts. So we are happy for them, but they certainly will be missed.

For the fall, we've added our Sunday School hour back in, and we have a class for every age group this time. Last season we didn't have an adult class because we were too "short-staffed" just covering the kids' classes. I am so grateful for all of our Sunday School teachers, and I'm eager to attend the adult class. (I've been in music rehearsals for the past two weeks, which we have to hold at the same time.)

We have a neat church tradition of gathering for a meal and a talent show 2-3 times a year, and I am coordinating our next one, in early November. It's a great chance for our kids to play a piano piece, sing a song, or perform with a group--we have two budding "bands" already! It's also fun for the adults to prepare something (to show the kids how it's done). We've had recitations, original poetry, readings, solos, duets and ensembles. Usually we end with a "dance." This involves fun music and whatever moves you got. For the kids, it means spinning around in crazed circles until we put on the Hokey Pokey or the Cha Cha Slide and attempt some structure. But it's always a fun time, and I am looking forward to it!

We are also holding Newcomer's/Membership lunches/classes on several Sundays in October. I am looking forward to getting to know some of our newer folks at these.

Oh, and a big thank you to those who regularly keep us in prayer! In my sidebar, I've asked for prayer for a guitarist and a drummer for our worship team. Well, the new member mentioned above, who does sound, is also a percussionist. In our current location, we don't have room for a drum kit, really, but he loves the hand drums, so--perfect! And for guitarists, we have three beginners--one dad, one 12-year-old, and my son B16--who are all coming along so well that we have been letting them plug in, and they are doing great. In the meantime, they've been playing unplugged with Father Rand, from Rez, who plays guitar for us once a month, and with Papa Rooster's brother from Chicago, who has started driving up more regularly to help us out. And now that his wife's job at Oprah ended, she and our niece are making the trip more often too. It's been so great having them! (Hmmm, I didn't count them in my new "regulars" count...they just may skew us over the 50% line....)

In other news, Light of Christ was featured this summer in a wonderful article in the Anglican Mission's glossy magazine, with Papa Rooster's photos of some of our special needs children. The writer interviewed several parents, who shared how included and accepted their children were, from their very first Sunday. I wish it was online! It was so good.

In searching for it, I found another article indirectly about our church that is online. Check out this brief piece about the Redemption card game that one of our dads has gotten all the 12-year-old boys hooked on!

So many praises, so many blessings!

Lord, thank you for each man, woman and child at Light of Christ. Each one brings something special to our midst. You've been so good to us. Thank you for this church.

The Back-to-School-and-Soccer Blur

2011-09-14T09:50:00.000-05:00

It happens every year--the back-to-school blur of scheduling. It's like putting a puzzle together. How can I fit all the pieces together? And my other driver just left for college! What if Papa Rooster is traveling with his job?

At least B16 is taking his road test in about 4 weeks. That introduces a whole new set of variables--and costs! (Car insurance on a teenage male? Astronomical!!) But at least we'll have more options for fitting it all together.

I guess scheduling is on my mind because I just got a new planner. Here's my life.

Mondays:

B16 and 12 have one virtual classroom session each. I will plan to go to yoga this morning.

We need to have everything ready to leave for B12's and C9's piano lessons, then B12's soccer practice--the minute B6 and C9 get off the bus. I may end up having to pick them up at school on Mondays, and B12 will probably be late to soccer every week. But it was the one, best chance at squeezing in piano lessons! Don't know what C9 and I will do after we drop off B12; we'll either return home for an hour, or do errands until we pick him up.

Tuesdays:

Guitar lesson first thing. Three virtual lectures for the boys. Late afternoon, I teach my Drama 1 class; then, for the next three weeks, Papa Rooster, B16 and I are going to choir practice! We were invited to join a choral arts group for one performance of this incredible gospel mass.

Meanwhile C9 has soccer practice. If the other soccer family can't bring her home, she'll have to miss it. At least her team has two scheduled practices a week.

Meanwhile, B16 also has soccer practice. If Papa Rooster is out of town, I don't know how we'll get him either to practice or to choir rehearsal. But PR probably will avoid scheduling travel on Tuesdays. He won't want to miss a rehearsal--that first tenor part is challenging!--and it's a lot of music left to learn in just three more weeks.

Wednesdays:

Three virtual sessions for the Bantams, and then B16's voice lesson mid-afternoon. Then two soccer practices, staggered, fortunately, so I can drop off one, then the other, pick up one, then the other. I'll save my errands to kill time in between.

(Still thinking about adding AWANA to this night--it's such a great program--maybe after soccer is over, if we can still join late.)

Thursdays:

Three more online sessions, two more soccer practices. One is for B16, who is helping a friend coach her son's team, so she provides his ride both ways. Phew! I will drive the carpool both ways to C9's practice, in return for them driving her on Tuesdays. Maybe Papa R and I can do Date Night during her practice? We'll have an hour and a half, if he's in town.

Fridays:

Nothing!! How did that happen? This will be the one weeknight, until soccer is over, that we could actually all sit down together for dinner AT dinnertime. Better make meal prep a priority on Fridays.

And it looks like time to pull out the crockpot and soup recipes for the other nights; all those soccer practices are between 5 and 7:30. With C9 and B6's bus arriving after 4 and their bedtime at 8:00, it's going to be tough to get in homework and piano practice, let alone dinner. I am grateful for B20, who is always home, so at least he can supervise if I'm not there. That's one silver lining of him not having a job yet.

Weekends:

Looks like we have four soccer games every Saturday for the next six weeks, with a few scattered games on Sunday afternoons as well. The Saturday games begin as early as 9 and will usually end at 4:30. So it's the whole day.

I confess I don't plan on watching every game! Papa R and I will have to divide and conquer anyway, because sometimes we'll have kids playing at the same time.

And once the weather turns colder, I am a wimp. I far prefer having theater rehearsals on Saturday mornings, when I can drop the kids off and go enjoy my quiet morning at Panera--indoors, with a hot cup of coffee, and no guilt about missing anything. When it's performance time, I can be right in there with the kids, being creative with my makeup responsibilities and watching my kids perform...in the comfort of a cozy, cushy theater! Even if I commit to helping out during rehearsals, I'm with friends. It's hard to make friends with other parents on the soccer team when we are all trying not to miss our child's one goal or great assist. Too often I've missed those moments because I've been chatting...and then I ask myself why I've been shivering out here in a lawn chair for the last hour! So now I'm a quiet soccer mom, except to yell encouragement at the kids whose names I know, but the time does go slower then.

Papa R took lots of great soccer photos last weekend. I should post some soon.

I should also take a shower. While I have the chance!

Tough Times for B6

2011-09-09T12:57:00.001-05:00

Y'know, I wrote this whole other post that maybe I will publish tomorrow, but what is really on my mind?

Bantam6.

He's having a tough time, missing Mommy while he's at school.

I've never seen my rough-and-tumble, unflappable little boy so sad. Whenever he thinks about school, his little face crumples as he fights to hold back the tears. He stumbles toward me and clings to my waist like he's never done before, though I've dropped him off at dozens of different places and activities in his short lifespan and he's never even looked back. Wherever he goes, he's happy, he's tough, he's energetic--but for the last few days, he's been crying at school, too. This is so unexpected!

It's making me sad too.

I remember being homesick several times--at a sleepover, at my grandparent's house, at church camp--when I was older than six. That terrible anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach, like the bottom had dropped out, was something I was so glad to grow out of. I never wanted to experience it again. It was the worst, most miserable feeling.

I can see on his face that he's feeling exactly that way. There's a black hole deep down in his gut.

It's not a problem with school. He likes school, likes his classes and his teacher, and especially gym, recess, computer and art. And it's not that he's just not ready. He's been one of my quicker students, bright and eager to learn. I know he's going to do well and enjoy it, once he gets over this.

Or is he? Am I doing what is best for him? Homeschooling is an option for him, though it's not for most kids who go through this. Would it be best to keep him home this year? Am I only doing what is best for me?

Oh, the doubting and second-guessing....

This is where I am so glad I for the Holy Spirit inside. He gives me peace, that the decision we made before is still the right decision. It's best for me, for our family...and for him, I have to trust.

So I tell him he's going to be okay. (Don't we all really want to hear those words? "It's going to be okay. You are going to be okay." I've burst into tears of relief, just to hear another human speak those words to me. So I minister them to my boy.)

I tell him Jesus is with him all the time, even when Mommy isn't. I tell him that while he's at school, I am here at home, doing my work, not far away. I tell him I will be here when he gets off the bus. I tell him that if anything really bad happens, they will let him call me on the phone. I lay hands on him and I pray for the sadness to go away. I make sure he goes to bed early.

I want to show him faith and confidence that he can do this. But it's hard. Especially when part of me is sort of happy to be missed so much, touched by his little-boy sweetness. I remember that the tough little boy has always had a cuddly side. It's just that lately, he's gotten too big for my lap.

Well, not really.

Happy Birthday, Chicklet9!

2011-09-06T13:23:00.000-05:00

She's thoughtful. And so sweet.

She's friendly...and funny!

She is a joy and a delight.

I always thank God for you
because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus.
1 Corinthians 1:4

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!
May you delight yourself in the Lord always,
and may He give you the desires of your heart!
Psalm 37:4

Kicking Off the School Year

2011-09-03T11:52:00.001-05:00

Here they are, the gang, waiting for the bus on the first day of school. It's the first time I've ever seen them sitting down when they are together! Two first-graders and a kindergartener, who live next door and across the street. They've spent their summer in the street--wearing out scooters, bikes, rollerblades and soccer balls. It's not uncommon to see deserted scooters or bikes in any of our front yards, while the boys disappear into the back yard to hit the sandbox, swingset or ditch. They play rough-and-tumble; they get into occasional spats and they work it out. They are a good group.

Watching Chicklet and B6 get on the bus wasn't as hard for me as I thought it might be. I'm happy for them! I know they are going to have a good time at school.

And they did love it. They are both motivated to "stay on green" or "keep their smiley face all day." Chicklet was happy to be remembered by kids that she knew from her half-year in first grade. I'll be interested to see how they fare academically, but I'm really not worried about them. They are bright and delightful children, and I know they will have a good year.

The first two days at iQ Academy were easy for Bantam12 in 7th grade--it's old hat for him, since he did this last year--and nerve-wracking for B16, in 10th. Everything took longer than he wanted it to, since it was all new to him, and he's second-guessing his decision already, just sure that this is going to be more time-consuming than his schedule would have been if he had gone to the private school. It was a struggle to stay calm while he was freaking out. My big challenge for the next couple weeks will be to stay calm, supportive and helpful to him until he gets comfortable and confident on his own.

And what did I do on the first two days of school, besides assist the Bantams-at-home? I uncovered the floor of my laundry room and vacuumed up all the sand. (Sand happens when you live near a beach!) I treated stains and laundered various delicate items that I've been saving up. I spent a good hour putting away stray items that had gathered in my laundry room, living room and kitchen counters. I sorted through the dress-up and changed its home. I brainstormed organization projects that I can't wait to start and bought storage drawer thingys at Walmart.

I discovered, deep down, a slew of pent-up organizing and cleaning impulses that I may, finally, have time and energy to act upon!

I think it's going to be a good school year.

Wrapping Up Summer

2011-09-01T10:00:00.001-05:00

Well, this is it. This morning, the big yellow schoolbus arrives...the virtual school bell rings.... What have we been doing for the last few weeks besides take Blondechick to college?

Mostly we've been wrapping up the summer and preparing for the fall.

We've been to the beach quite a bit, soaking up every last moment of sand, surf and sunshine. Lake Michigan is at its warmest in August and September, and with the breeze off the lake, it feels cool there on the hottest day. I love to lay in the sun and not even sweat!

We had a late-summer picnic with families from our theater group. We've all missed seeing each other!

We picked up all the kids' bedrooms and had the carpets cleaned. The stairs especially were just gross before. Much better now.

We found a guitar teacher for B16. We found a piano teacher for C8 and B12. A voice teacher for B16 is in the works. We started guitar lessons already.

We have to work these lessons in around the school schedule AND soccer practices, which have already started. This year the 3 youngest are all doing soccer, and two of them have two practices a week. That means we have soccer practice Monday, Tuesday, two on Wednesday, and Thursday nights, plus three games on Saturday. B16 is helping coach a team, so add one more practice (Thursday) for him. Plus games, if he wants.

Soccer is going to be a way bigger time commitment than theater, I'm afraid. Our kids can't do both, so I'm the only one going to drama classes one night a week--as a teacher! I'm teaching Drama 1 again, and I have 16 kids signed up for my class! So I've been preparing for that.

The younger half and I used our free passes to Six Flags Great America, earned through the Six Flags Reading Club. Then Papa Rooster and the boys received invitations by friends with free coupons. So some of us did a lot of roller coasters in the last few weeks....

B12 flanked by Mr. A and his twins

Chicklet and I finally completed a summer project we'd been trying to work in. We invited another mom, her daughters and her sewing machine to come over and have a sewing date. Due to under-performance on the parts of our respective machines, the other mom and I ended up doing more sewing than our daughters, but they still learned a lot and the result was so cute!

We bought school supplies for C8 and B6, attended the school's open house, met their teachers, found their desks, and stashed their supplies inside.

We had our Chicago cousin here for a couple nights. She's six and doesn't need much entertaining--she and Chicklet8 and Bantam6 played and played, and when they got bored, we went to the beach.

When we returned her, we went "downtown"--(into Chicago)--to Buckingham Fountain, Millennium Park and the Lincoln Park Zoo. It was a day trip the kids had asked about at the beginning of summer. It's been ages--B6 didn't remember any of it. He'll remember it this time!

B6 with his aunt and cousin

It was a perfect day--and a perfect way to wrap up the summer!

Blondechick At College

2011-08-23T23:38:00.000-05:00

Well, she's all moved in. With a little help from her fam!

There actually was enough room in the closet for her all her clothes. We were surprised.

Since this picture was taken, she and her roommate have bought matching shower curtains to cover their closets, so all the clothes aren't exposed to view. I forgot to ask what color.

She took a page from "Legally Blonde" with her room decor--all hot pink!

And here's how she feels about college so far....

And how is Mom? Everyone keeps asking me that, and honestly, I'm just so happy for her, that I haven't even begun to really feel much sadness. I think it will sink in eventually. But considering how close she came to going a completely different route and missing out on this entirely, I am just so relieved and thrilled and happy to be back to Plan A! As we left her on Saturday, I barely had room for any emotion other than overwhelming thankfulness for this opportunity for her.

And God is doing a work in her heart. I wish I could share some of the things she's learned from going through all the heartbreak, pain, anger and confusion, and finally moved on to acceptance and thankfulness. We've had so many good conversations, and she's continuing, even in these first whirlwind days of orientation and activities, to lean into God and to rediscover her self.

Her Facebook status today is "God is so GOOD." For an 18-year-old girl who's had to change her Facebook profile from "engaged" to "in a relationship" to "single" in the last two months, that's a pretty huge statement.

I am so proud of her. And so thankful!

Happy Birthday to My Favorite Man!

2011-08-19T09:06:00.003-05:00

I was so happy that my brother-in-law grabbed the camera and took these shots! PR takes so many fabulous photos, but he's never in them. I loved this shot of him with our two youngest and my niece (in the orange goggles).

This photo captures something special about my husband, one of the big reasons I married him--he has a gentle soul.

May the Lord bless you this day...this year...my love...as you bless so many others with your care, your love, your compassion and your prayers. You are a good man, and I am blessed to be yours.

***

In honor of your birthday, apparently, I had a dream last night. This dream incorporates a Latin expression which you made up in high school. My subconscious seems to think that you have been just itching to include it in a liturgical service!

We were at church, and you and our deacon and the altar boys were processing in. But what was this? In the procession, there was also a young man in his 20's, dressed in a robe of some sort, but underneath it was an inflatable suit that was inflated, lifting the robe above the young man's knees and revealing silky gym shorts. He definitely needed a longer robe and different footwear than gym shoes, to pull this off. Who was he? I wondered. Why the inflatable suit under the robe?

Ahhh, then I knew. It was the magnum saccum ventorum, the "big bag of wind." A little-known liturgical element you were trying out this week.

You and our deacon conferred afterward and decided that it just hadn't worked. It looked a little silly and it made the young man uncomfortable. (It may have been his first time at our church, since I didn't recognize him. Talk about "seeker-friendly"!)

And that was it. You were matter-of-fact, and you moved on to another topic.

You big bag of wind. I love you!

Fall Educational Plans...and a Sabbatical

2011-08-18T12:03:00.000-05:00

Is it time to be blogging about our back-to-school plans?

Feels like it's time...and yet, there's not as much to say as usual. I'm taking a sabbatical from homeschooling.

I've homeschooled for 14 years straight, and since we moved here three years ago, I've been stretched thinner than I ever have before. It was a lot easier to homeschool when all my kids were at home and on the same schedule. But our move came just as our three oldest were embracing teenager-hood with a vengeance and without the safety net of Christian friends and friendships that we had in our old community. The three of them--especially #2 and #3--seemed to require a lot more time and attention than they had previously, with enrollment in a public high school and then the Christian school...and all that came with it: rides to school, help with homework, sports, a social schedule, a social life (a.k.a "drama"), driver's ed, driving, jobs, college visits, graduation, and transitioning to college. So much new stuff in three years.

Not to mention homeschooling the younger three, planting a church, starting a Christian youth theater group in Kenosha, staying on top of laundry and errands, and keeping groceries in the house!

No wonder I am out of steam.

So the plan is for Bantam6 and Chicklet8 to go to the local elementary school for first and third grades next year. I have a good feeling about that school and the adults that I met there during the half-year that Chicklet attended, two years ago. I think they will do well there.

Bantams12 and 16 will both be at home, but enrolled in iQ Academy, a virtual charter school here in WI. I may have to do some nagging, but they will receive instruction, deadlines and grades from iQ Academy teachers, not me. I'm sure they both can handle the workload and the curriculum pretty independently, and I'm looking forward to playing a supportive role, rather than a directive one, with them.

Blondechick18 leaves for TIU (Trinity International University) on Saturday. I expect she'll be high-maintenance for her first few weeks away, but then she'll settle in. She's been so appreciative of her family, lately, especially with the breaking off of her engagement and subsequent complete break-up. She senses God working all things together for good in her life, though, and she is super-excited for college!

B20 will be living at home and hopefully working. He's had two interviews recently, which was encouraging--finally. One didn't work out, and he is hoping to be called back for a second interview at the other place. Prayers appreciated!

So those are the educational plans...which shouldn't be too stressful or demanding on me. It's the extra-curricular activities that are going to fill my time, I suspect. But there are enough of them to fill a separate post!

Ode to the Best County Fair in the Midwest

2011-08-12T13:09:00.000-05:00

My brothers and I grew up taking our Ohio hometown county fair for granted, but no more. Between the six of us--us three siblings and our spouses, who live in different states, have all moved at least once, and have seen plenty of other county fairs now--we all agree that no other fair comes close!

For starters, we're surprised at how many fairgrounds are set up on asphalt, without a shade tree in sight. And it's so disappointing when there's really not much to interest kids besides rides, games and food. Our fair has barns and barns of animals, with kids hanging around those barns eager to show off their 4-H projects and let you hold or touch their beasts. There are auctions and judging going on all the time. At night there is harness racing, pig and calf scrambles, tractor pulls and a demolition derby. It's such a great little fair! For many summers now, we've all timed our visits to see my parents so that they coincide with fair week.

The rides are fun for young and middle-aged alike!

Pilot Brother with his wife and oldest daughter (5)

Papa Rooster took SO many great shots this year, it took me forever to pick just a few. I love Blondechick's hair in this one!

B16 and Blondechick18, with B20 and me in the background

Fair photos are so colorful!

Chicklet8 and her cousin, Professor Brother's middle daughter (9)

Every ride presents its challenges.

Professor Brother's oldest (13) with B12

We always run into someone we know. It's a small town, after all.

Me with Mom (L) and Dad (R) with a longtime family friend (center L)

Strollers provide a good rallying point.

Prof Bro's middle daughter talks to Pilot Bro's 4 y.o., while Grandpa and Pilot Bro kneel. Prof Bro and wife stand behind; B12 and B16 on R.

Though this "ride" doesn't move, the farm implement sales lot has been a perennial favorite for as long as I can remember!

Four cousins try out lawnmowers. Notice grass, trees and shade!

As many years of combined fair experience as we had, we were all mystified by this sign. Translucent pig tubes? Safari hog tubes? I could google, but it's more amusing to speculate.

I love the whole fair experience, but I think the animal barns are my favorite part. It reminds me of my days hanging around the barns with my own show projects.

Checking out the fancy chickens.

Who can resist the charm of ever-friendly goats?

The kids were encouraged to feed the llamas! Fortunately, they only spit at each other.

Horses were always my favorite. This little filly, Fancy, was just three months old, and her owner showed us her trick: If you scratched her back, she'd scratch yours!

Now for a short rant. What has happened to 4-H, anyway? In IL and here in WI, we've been invited to join generic 4-H clubs where everybody worked on whatever project they wanted to and the advisor was just an administrative leader, not an expert in their field; the burden is on the parent to find their child the help they need to complete whatever project they choose. Where I grew up, you joined a club with an advisor who had some expertise, and everyone in the club worked on the same type of project. I was in a sewing club of beginners through advanced, and my advisor was an expert seamstress. I joined a rabbit club, a horse club, a dog club--not all in the same year!--and a cooking club. Each club was led by an advisor with specific knowledge or interest, whether on an animal or on electricity, woodworking, model rockets or planes, quilting, or dozens of other projects. They still run it that way in my hometown--why not elsewhere? I really want to know!

Every year I appreciate the fair in a new way, and feel so thankful for the opportunities I had growing up. I'm so happy to make memories there with my kids and my brother's families too! I can only imagine how my dad must feel. He remembers being a kid there himself, showing dairy cattle and staying overnight in the 4-H barn, showering in the cement block bathroom that's still there and not much improved from his day.

And he's still makin' memories at the fair!

Grandpa with B20

Lessons from Joseph

2011-08-03T12:16:00.000-05:00

You saw the photos.

I had a blast being in that show. I felt so light, so filled with joy and leftover adrenaline walking into church on Sunday morning…that I just started crying. And couldn’t stop for the rest of the service. Makes no sense, right? Really, I’m not an emotional gal.

What comes next is intensely personal. I promise it’s all good, though, and I share it in the spirit of praise to God for unexpected work in my life.

So I’m crying in church and asking God to show me what’s going on, and I see myself like a hollow chocolate Easter bunny, with a shell made of something more like flint. And God’s hammer comes down and breaks the shell, and inside, there I am--living, breathing, moving…and dancing.

And I knew instantly what that shell was about. It was constructed of labels that started piling up in junior high: stiff, clumsy, awkward, ugly, clutzy, uncoordinated, unlikeable, locked up, ungraceful, unattractive, can’t fit in…and the big one: fear of looking stupid.

That fear controlled me all through high school, I think. It made me stick to safe areas, like academics and music, which I excelled in. It was a HUGE thing for me to leave the pit orchestra and try out for the school musical my senior year. But my main memory of that show--The Wiz--is thinking “I probably look stupid. And stiff.” Which I honestly probably did, with those thoughts in my mind all the time.

The cool thing is that during rehearsals for Joseph, I somehow was having such a good time, or have matured enough to ignore those voices, that I really wasn’t aware of them—even in front of an audience. I didn’t feel nervous, I didn’t feel worried…I think part of me accepted that I was probably going to look like one of the few old ladies on stage, and that was okay! To me, it was only about having fun.

But I got more out of it than that, and that’s where I praise God. It’s as if, without even being aware of it until it was all over, I had faced down my inner demons and proved them wrong. “Mom!” Blondechick18, always direct, exclaimed after the show, “I thought you said you couldn’t dance!”

Not clutzy—pretty coordinated. Not stiff--relatively graceful. It may have taken me longer to learn the dances, but I did learn them and perform them--with a smile. And I fit in fine, even though I was older than most of the cast. And I didn’t look stupid….

Even when dancing on top of a tiny stage above the heads of the rest of the cast! When I saw the pictures my husband took at the last dress rehearsal, I couldn’t believe how conspicuous and yes, stupid, I thought I looked. Why me, twenty years older than all these graceful young girls, some of them trained dancers? At first I thought it was the height that bothered me; then I practiced and practiced alone on that podium to overcome that, and I realized it was more about the restricted space. Harder to be graceful in the small area, where I had less room to turn; more chance that I would bobble and look stupid. But each time I had to get up on that dumb box, I just swallowed hard and did my dance with a smile on my face and as much grace as I could muster, and I survived. And now I think it wasn’t the height or the small area, it was a God-thing, a growth opportunity, to face down that fear—of looking stupid--and literally dance on its grave.

So I am thankful. Even though I did hate every minute up there.

On Sunday morning, I became simultaneously aware of all those yucky feelings from junior high and high school, and of the fact that those lies had been smashed and replaced with truth. What joy! It’s not often that you get to go back and re-write your script. (Ooo, the perfect metaphor.) But this time the story had a happy ending, and I just couldn’t contain the emotion.

When I decided to audition, I felt I was following a leading from God. But I never expected healing to come from being in a community theater production. I am so grateful to God, and also to the other women in the cast who accepted me…and helped me learn to dance!

From The Message, Psalm 51:

What you’re after is truth from the inside out…
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
Set these once-broken bones to dancing!

Amazing Joseph

2011-08-02T12:25:00.001-05:00

So our production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat ended up exceeding everyone's expectations. We knew we had a great cast, and great directors, but how much can you really pull off in just six 4-hour rehearsals? That's all we had before production week! But somehow, with God's help, it came together in an amazing way, and our audiences were wowed every time!

There is so much I could say about the talent of our leads and the strength of the whole ensemble, but for the sake of my relatives and friends, and my own time, I better focus on my own experience and Chicklet8's and Bantam6's.

Chicklet was in her element. She loves the stage. People stopped her after every show to say, "I couldn't stop watching you! You were always smiling, always so expressive!"

Chicklet and B6 played school children that the Narrator tells the story of Joseph to. They helped sing some of the songs, and they sat on the sides during the numbers they weren't in, and joined in with hand motions and general enthusiasm for the story.

When Chicklet was complimented by one of the directors for her consistent smile during the dress rehearsal, I told her later on that I was proud of her. Her secret? "At first my cheeks were bored," she confided. "But then they got excited!"

B6, on the other hand, was clueless in the cutest sort of way. This shot is jumping ahead to the final number, but it captures how he rolled. (He was the youngest in the cast--but he didn't act like the youngest, Chicklet told me proudly!)

So here was my entrance, during the number "Jacob & Sons." Joseph's brothers are all facing the back wall, and as they are introduced, they go greet Jacob, then meet up with their wife, then get out of the way. Just as "Reuben was the eldest of the children of Israel," as the lyrics go, so was the actor playing Reuben the oldest of the actors playing brothers, and I was the oldest woman playing the Wife of a brother. (As in, we were well over 20 years older than any of the other couples!)

At the end of the number, we posed for a "family picture." That's Jacob in the center, with his arm around Joseph. You can just see the Narrator's head, as she takes a picture with a Polaroid camera.

In the next number, Jacob gives Joseph the coat of many colors. Here he is showing off. And yes, that's me up on top. When we blocked this dance, I was happy to be in back. At the first dress rehearsal, when I found out how high and how conspicuous and how limited on space I was (I'm on a box that's less than 4X4 feet), I was not one bit comfortable up there. But God used it. (Will save for another post!)

At least my husband joined me up there toward the end!

My next scene was his big solo, when the brothers push him forward to break the news to Jacob that "There's one more angel in heaven, one more star in the sky...Joseph, we'll never forget you...."

After much melodramatic weeping and mourning, we all breathe a huge sigh of relief after Jacob leaves the stage...then break out into a hoedown to the same tune, sped up.

"It's tough, but we're gonna get by!"

The first act ends with Joseph in prison, and the cast dressed in 70's/80's costumes singing the encouraging "Go, Go, Go Joseph...you know what they say; Come on now, Joseph, you'll make it someday; Sha la la Joseph, you're doin' fine--you and your dreamcoat, ahead of your time." Profound, I know.

Check out my hot pink skinny pants. You'll see them again.

The second act begins in Egypt, in Pharaoh's court--complete with mummies and dancing golden statues.

Pharaoh sure looked and sounded an awful lot like Elvis, "This dream has got me all shook up; Hey Joseph, what does it mean?" Our dance was an eclectic combination of 50's "bop bop shoo wada wah" moves, and poses imported from Michael Jackson's Thriller dance.

Oh, and I need a shot to show you my sparkly golden pumps! I'm over on the right...

When I was a college student in the 80's, my fiance's landlord bought me a gown and those shoes to wear to a formal event. They are beautiful shoes, and I hung onto them. Blondechick wore them when she was the Sour Kangaroo in Seussical, and it was fun to have an excuse to wear them in this show!

Jumping on ahead, here we are during the Benjamin Calypso, as Judah assures Joseph, "I hear de steel drums sing their song, they're singing mon you know you got it wrong..."

"Oh no. Not he! How you can accuse him is a mystery. Save him. Take me. Benjamin is straighter than de tall palm tree."

"Joseph, Joseph, is it really true? Joseph, Joseph, is it really you?"

I'm leaving out the slower numbers and their reprises, but the show ends with everybody's favorite--the Megamix! It's a recap of all the big group numbers, set to a heavy dance beat that gets the whole audience clapping as various people and groups take their bows. Here I am--in Blondechick's hot pink skinny pants and Chicklet's one-size-fits-all "popcorn" top!--with the other wives after we've taken our bows.

And Chicklet had a big moment during the Megamix. When we're singing, "Could be famous, could be a big success...could become a star," she got to become a star!

Did we have fun, or what??

Go, Go, Go Joseph!

2011-07-26T11:01:00.001-05:00

Well, it's the Big Week, with two dress rehearsals and three performances of...

I am so pumped.

I am really having a great time doing this show, and I am trying to tease out why. Music rehearsals can be boring, when you have to sit through a whole song just to sing some "oooh-aaaah's" or "la la la's" toward the end. Dance rehearsals can be frustrating when they teach it quick and move on before you've really got it. You have to sit around during the scenes you're not in, not talking.... (I get it, now, why my kids--and their directors--always got so frustrated over the no talking/too much talking issue!)

So what's fun about it?

I think it must be the challenge of it. I thought I knew most of the songs going into it, but I never noticed that in places, there are 8 parts--1st and 2nd soprano, 1st and 2nd alto, 1st and 2nd tenor, baritone, bass. And I never realized how much Weber likes chords with very close harmonies. Sometimes the second sopranos are singing one note down from the melody line, and believe me, that's a hard note to find! We have a lot of "ooohs" and "aaahs" that seem very similar, but aren't. Or we sing them here, but not there. I've practiced a ton at home, and I think I'm pretty firm on most of it now, but I'm rehearsing daily just to keep it all straight. I know I could go to a rehearsal and wing it, but I like knowing it. That's the joy of accomplishment for me.

Now, the dancing is a different story. Since nothing is written down for me to take home and practice, I have to just go by what I remember, and note where the gaps are that I can't remember steps, and find out at the next rehearsal what I forgot, so I can go home and practice some more. I have never felt very graceful or coordinated, but thank heavens, this choreography is simple enough that even I can make it look okay--IF I know what I'm doing! So that's been an even bigger challenge than learning harmonies and parts.

But the biggest challenge of all is putting it all together! They say crossword and sudoku puzzles are good for your brain, as you age...but trying to remember to sing (the right lyrics and the right harmonies at the right time) as well as what your right and left arms and right and left feet are supposed to be doing (not to mention hands, elbows and knees) is clearly WAY more brain-stimulation than anything else I can imagine. I can just feel how good this is for an older brain. Although it's difficult, it's also rewarding, because it's fun when you get even most of it together. And amazingly enough, I'm finding it's getting easier!

It gives me enormous respect for my kids and all that they have to learn for each production they are in. (Although they also get twice the rehearsal hours that we have had...and they have the advantage of much younger brains!)

The best thing about it, possibly, is that it's a creative endeavor that's taking me out of my normal box or comfort zone. I know other women who are doing similar things and finding joy in them. One has picked up tap-dancing again and has a recital coming up. One just signed up to go back to school. Another goes all out to throw beautiful showers and parties. All of them have kids, jobs, busy lives--but they are making time for something they love.

Is it okay to add "one more thing" when it's for ourselves? I know we're all trying to simplify and be less busy, spend more time with God and with our families. It was a tough decision to do something "just for me," and it was easier to justify because Bantam6 and Chicklet8 could do it with me. If I had anticipated how much joy it would bring me, I wouldn't have hesitated. It honestly has felt like pretty minimal investment for the return I'm getting.

Still can't completely explain it. But I am grateful.

And nervous.

Because this week we add more difficulty, like doing it in costume, squeezing in quick costume changes...

And then the biggest challenge of all--doing it in front of an audience! Yikes!

Return of Bantam16

2011-07-25T09:45:00.001-05:00

Heeeeeee’s back!

It worked out for our whole family to go to Family Day at Honey Rock, the camp where B16 has been for the last month. It was great to catch that first glimpse of our tall son walking across the grassy parking lot to meet us! A month had been a long time.

He had a great experience, and we are so grateful. His group spent 8 days in the wilderness, hiking, camping and canoeing along Lake Superior. After another week back on the camp grounds, they took a bus to Minneapolis for a service project, which was cleaning up debris left from a tornado nearly two months ago. In the poorer areas, there was still much clean up left to be done. They were sobered and humbled to see the poverty and devastation.

Thanks to everyone who prayed for his safety! He had one half-fall, half-roll down a 70 foot embankment, when a shale ledge gave way beneath him as he reached back to give an arm up to another guy behind him. It was a spur-of-the-moment race up a hill by the side of the river, not a planned climb, and praise God, in his eagerness to get to the top first, he had not bothered to remove his life jacket. It protected his torso as he struck rock outcroppings on the way down, and except for having the breath totally knocked out of him, and a few scrapes on his arms and legs, he was okay.

He says he feels like he grew in every way—especially spiritually and physically. They had an 11-hour solo time on the wilderness trip in which he really felt God’s presence. All the guys shared their life stories, and the counselors challenged and encouraged them in multiple ways--with God’s word, with team activities, with discussion and physical challenges. Just what guys need!

We had fun as a family swimming at the hotel, and canoeing and hanging out at Honey Rock. Keepin' it real, though...the van ride there and back was a pain. The three youngest were overtired, argumentative and whiny both ways, which was unexpected, since they are usually so chipper. Still, we were glad we all could go...

And glad to all be together again!

Dis-Engagement UPDATED

2011-07-22T09:41:00.003-05:00

I mentioned previously that we were *almost* ready to settle on a reception venue for Blondechick’s wedding next June. But we were waiting…because the groom-to-be was having second thoughts.

He just wasn’t ready.

So Blondechick gave back the ring. “Give it to me again, when you’re ready,” she said.

They are still dating. Still “engaged” on Facebook. Still considering marriage, down the line.

Just not next summer.

(UPDATE: She's decided to enter college as a single gal. They've broken up.)

And there has been relief all around. Parents, of course. The couple? Relieved to just be happy-go-lucky kids again, without the burden of planning for the rest of their lives!

Blondechick is suddenly able to think clearly about college, and has decided to go to Trinity International University (TIU) after all. She was working on convincing us to let her live at home and go to the same local school that she thought she’d be transferring to after marriage. But now, she’s going to go take that music scholarship, be in Trinity’s concert choir, take gen eds and think about what she really wants to do with the next couple of years.

And in the next couple of weeks…buy books and dorm room supplies!

We think it was a mature and courageous decision. It’s tough to admit that maybe they made a mistake, especially when their engagement was so public. But it seems like the right decision for now, for them. Giving themselves a few more years to mature, and their relationship the test of time, seems wise and advisable.

Me? I’m relieved to not be planning a wedding any more. This next year will have a better chance of being a sabbatical for me now, which I intend by putting B6 and C8 in school. The only thing I’m slightly disappointed about is...not gaining the extra bedroom upstairs. I was going to give it to Chicklet when Blondechick moved out. Now I have to re-think room arrangements, or leave things as they are a little longer, although Chicklet is getting a little old to share with her brother….

But that’s for another post!

Stay-cation!

2011-07-14T09:53:00.002-05:00

So we've had my niece here, from Kansas, for 10 days. She's almost 13 and so mature and smart for her age! We are really enjoying her visit.

And she's been the inspiration for an impromptu "stay-cation"! Since she's been here, we've been to the Milwaukee Art Museum, the Bristol Renaissance Faire, and gone into Chicago for Peter Pan 360. We've been letting the discounts set our agenda; it was free day at the art museum last Thursday, kids were free for the opening weekend of RenFaire, and Peter Pan was offering a 20% discount (code WENDY on all evening performances before July 24). Only six more weeks and the show moves on to another city! It was really good, if you're in the area--a joy for kids and adults alike. It's the straight play, not the musical, and it has an iMax theater kind of feel because they project the "backdrop" onto the round ceiling and during flying scenes it changes so you feel like you are flying too. The crocodile was really cool, and the pirates were a lot of fun.

We've also had a church picnic, a stop by the Jelly Belly factory gift shop, a visit with friends who have chickens and a new puppy, two trips to the beach...and swimming lessons every day. But Cuz has been a good sport about that--she comes along and reads, or one time she stayed home and watched Phantom of the Opera, which we own and she was eager to see again. We've also introduced her to another Andrew Lloyd Weber show, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, which C8, B6 and I are rehearsing for currently. We've been listening to the soundtrack in my car, because I'm still trying to learn all the harmonies in the second soprano line. It turns out my niece has perfect pitch, so she's been a great help! Blondechick and I are jealous, though. :)

Blondechick and a girlfriend took my niece to the drive-in one night, too--the Keno Drive-In is the oldest one in the state of WI--and they had a great time talking girl talk, eating candy and watching Zookeeper. And a friend of mine, who has swimming lessons with us and got to know Cuz there, invited her and Chicklet to a picnic on a night that B12 was invited to a birthday party. So we've kept her busy! She's been a lot of fun.

My brother arrives tonight and will stay a day before they head back; then I am flying to Texas for a family reunion of sorts, on my mother's side. Will be back next week, just in time to leave again to go pick up B16 from camp. They let him make a phone call home after the 8-day wilderness trip, and he sounded great--he's just lovin' it. Says he loves his counselors! I am so thankful. Thanks to all who prayed!

In other news, our area was hit by another quick storm and we lost power again--fortunately only for a few hours. (We just decided to take Cuz bowling that morning.) The worst damage was south of us in Illinois--power out for days and more trees down.

We also got to see the David Crowder Band in concert at Willow Creek Community Church in Illlinois--it was so worshipful and inspiring. Wish B16 had been with us--he'd have loved it.

No job yet for B20...but we think we have a wedding venue picked out for Blondechick and her young man--a golf club in Lake Geneva where we can do the wedding outside on a covered terrace, rain or shine, then have the reception indoors, then have the dancing back outdoors on the terrace, where the noise won't make conversation impossible. Seems perfect! Almost ready to put the money down and announce the date, I think. Almost.

Well, must go think about meals and a grocery trip before my brother arrives tonight, also laundry and packing for my Texas trip. It may be a week or more before I'm back.

Hope you all are having a great summer! Leave me a comment and tell me what kinds of vacationing or stay-cationing you are doing this summer!

Pray for B16 at Honey Rock

2011-07-08T14:52:00.000-05:00

A friend just sent us a beautiful prayer letter for their son, who is leaving for Honey Rock next week, the same camp where B16 has been for nearly two weeks. In a similar manner, I'd like to ask my readers to join us in prayer for B16, at least as you read this!

First of all, he's gone for a month...and we really miss him! So pray for us!

Most of all, pray that he encounters God in a deep and meaningful way. Especially while he's "unplugged," (no cell phones or iPods allowed), may he recognize God's voice in the stillness. This happened for him last year, at the two week camp, and his counselor commented that B16 would benefit from a longer time "unplugged." This is my daily prayer for him, that he would hear and recognize God speaking to him.

Pray for godly wisdom for his counselors. His relationships with his counselors the past two years have been significant in his life, and he expected to have one of them again this summer. After he left, we received an email introducing his counselors, and neither one is his guy from last year, so I'm sure he was disappointed. I'm praying that he will connect with the new guys just as well and benefit just as much from their spiritual leadership.

Pray for safety. They spend 8 days camping in the wilderness (and I don't know how well-prepared he was for that, since I didn't help him pack), plus they'll spend a lot of time in and around a lake. One of the counselors drowned in that lake two summers ago, swimming alone one morning, and B16 isn't really a swimmer.

Lastly, he made a big decision just before he left, and I'm praying that God will confirm it with a great sense of peace, or show him if he should change his mind. It's about his education for next year, for 10th grade. This past year, his guitar-playing and song-writing have really taken off, and he wants more time to practice guitar, pick up piano again, take voice lessons, and play regularly at church and with his band. We keep telling him the only way he's going to have time for all that is if he goes the virtual school route, just for a year, and this is the year to do it, rather than his junior or senior year. (I keep signing him up for iQ Academy--the virtual charter school that B12 attended last year--every February during the open enrollment period, to keep that option open.) He can always change his mind and pull out of the virtual school and go back to the Christian school, but he can't do the reverse. And the virtual school will give him a Fine Arts Independent Study half-credit for all the music activities, plus another for any theater production he's in, so he comes out ahead on his transcript.

Since February, he's come all the way from "absolutely no way I'm willing to leave my friends and be homeschooled again" to telling us before he left: "I'm going to do the homeschool thing so that I can spend next year focusing on music." Only God could have effected that change in his mind and heart!

I want to wait and see how he feels when he gets home, though, before I send in any school fees. I've had a strong sense that this time at camp will be significant for making this decision, and I'm fine with either choice he makes. I am excited about the opportunities this next year could bring for him, but I'm also aware of the time and energy it could require from me to have him around again. At least he should get his license in October!

Thank you, Lord, for the experiences B16 is having at camp. Good or bad, I know he will receive them as for his good, and I pray he can hear clearly your voice speaking to him. Whether in the silence or in the midst of much activity, may he hear you and develop ears and a heart to always hear you. Shape his character, his masculinity, his gifts of compassion and mercy, and most of all, his relationship with you. May it grow strong in virtue to withstand temptation and vice. May he be strengthened spiritually as he is physically. Thank you for your love and care for him always and everywhere. Amen.

A Great and Powerful Wind

2011-07-02T11:54:00.000-05:00

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind.

~I Kings 19:11

There was a storm over Lake Michigan on Thursday evening. For us on the lakeshore, there wasn't any rain in the forecast, let alone a severe weather alert. Yet in a matter of seconds, the winds from this storm out over the Lake did incredible damage.

All it took was one microburst to flatten our gazebo. It's the second one that has been trashed by high winds since we've lived here!

Although we were also without power for 24 hours, we considered our property unscathed, compared to homes over closer to the Lake...

Church members who live in this area are still without power this morning.

The rest of these photos are all on the grounds of the Kemper Center, where our church rents the chapel on Sundays. Papa Rooster estimates more than 15 trees were lost on its grounds alone, and hundreds of trees were down, along with light posts, telephone poles and live wires, all over Kenosha! And all in a matter of minutes.

Those are the chapel doors in the background.

This is a walkway between the chapel and Ambrose Hall. You can see the copper roof has been ripped up and folded over like a rug!

Here's the back view of the same walkway, with the missing section of roof. A branch from this tree broke through the door there.

Another tree hit the Faulkner building, which we have used for church suppers and meetings. The far right tree fell into another tree, so fortunately didn't do any damage to Ambrose Hall.

Another view of the tree that fell on Faulkner, plus another giant down closer to the shore. The grounds of Kemper will sure look different after this.

As of this morning, there is still no power in the Kemper Center, so we are hoping to do an outdoor service on the grounds on Sunday.

It's Summer!

2011-06-28T11:08:00.000-05:00

Wow, what have I been doing that I haven't posted in nearly two weeks?

I can hardly remember. A little of this, a little of that...gotta love summertime!

I've met friends for lunch and breakfast. We've had visits from family, and from friends passing through Kenosha. The little kids (B6 and Chicklet8) had sports camp two weeks ago, and then VBS last week; this week Bantam12 is at soccer camp, and B16 just left for a month at Honey Rock. The little kids and I have had two Joseph rehearsals so far, and we've hit numerous yard sales together. They are living on bikes, rollerblades and scooters, and B6 loves shooting basketballs at the neighbor's regulation hoop. (In fact, at sports camp he received Most Outstanding Player for his age group, and Chicklet received Best Defensive Player for soccer. Last year she was Best Offensive Player, so I guess she's a flexible girl!)

Blondechick and I have looked at five possible wedding reception venues and she's had an audition for a music scholarship at Trinity--which she received! But she's having a tough time making decisions about next year and knowing what she really wants. She is off her crutches but still going in for physical therapy for her soccer knee injury. B20 is helping around the house, teaching himself Photoshop, reading, playing video games, biking and walking daily, and hoping that a job materializes soon. I probably better get that plate spinning again....

But there was one big project that stopped me blogging, I guess. A painter friend had an opening in his busy schedule, and his wife asked if I'd like him to come paint our master bedroom. I've been talking about it since we moved in, since I hated the "builder white" in our bedroom. It just didn't go with the rest of the rooms on the main level of our house, which are warm shades of olive green, carmel, celery and creamy carmel. It seemed like the perfect time to act.

But I still had to settle on a color! When we moved, I gave away our 80's mauve comforter and ordered a comforter and pillow set online that appeared to be the subtle sage green that I wanted. But when it arrived, it was really more gold than green, and the leaves were more brown than sage, with olive accents. We liked it enough to keep. But it was tough to choose a green that would coordinate with it.

I ended up buying four sample cans of color to try on the walls, and I tried each color on all four walls because the light was different on each one. The first was too bright and pea-soupy. The second was too dark, the third too light, and the fourth didn't even look green, although the sales clerk and I both thought the chips for #2, #3 and #4 all seemed nearly identical.

So I gave up on the paint chips, and mixed my own shade, combining #2 and #3 with a dash of #1, and when it looked the way I wanted, I made my own chip on a paper plate and had the paint store do a color match from it. The result was not what I expected, once again! But thank God, it looked good and we liked it.

See? It's kind of a creamy pale olive. It's perhaps a shade lighter than I imagined.

We also turned the bed. We used to have the headboard on the right hand wall. I had to give up the cedar chest that I've always kept at the foot of our bed, because it stuck out too far into the center of the room, but this way makes the room look bigger, plus it shows off the headboard, which is a family heirloom. That's a writing desk on the left wall, with the ottoman from the wicker set as a chair. Maybe this week I'll decide which pictures to hang where!

Now, you can just imagine the cleaning that had to take place before this room could be painted. I had stuff stashed under the bed, behind the wicker chair and the loveseat, behind the bedroom door...all "to deal with later." And Later arrived! I'm still sorting it all out.

I also sold our 4-year-old extra-firm mattress that no longer felt good to Papa Rooster's back. We bought a Sensor-Pedic mattress that we placed on top of the old one, making our bed extra-tall, but the bedspread didn't quite cover both mattresses and a box spring. I was pleased to get $150 for it, 48 hours after I posted it on Craigslist. I felt so successful that I listed Chicklet's loft bed, which simply takes up too much room--and a buyer is picking it up tomorrow night.

It's so great to have time and energy to get to stuff like this. Let the summer continue!

You Crown the Year with Your Goodness

2011-06-16T11:21:00.000-05:00

Humor me today with a little poetry exposition, okay?

The Midday Psalm (Psalm 65:6–14)

You make fast the mountains by your power;* they are girded about with might.

Wow, what an image. It is God's power that roots and supports the mountains!

You still the roaring seas,* the roaring of their waves, and the clamor of their peoples.

"Be still and know that I am God."

Those who dwell at the ends of the earth will tremble at your marvelous signs;*

This makes me think of tsunamis and earthquakes and the Northern Lights.

you make the dawn and the dusk to sing for joy.

This reminds me of the characters in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader who are really stars who sing at dawn and at dusk. I bet C.S. Lewis had this verse (among others) in mind.

You visit the earth and water it abundantly; you make it very plenteous;*

We've had so much rain here in Wisconsin this spring that it's good to reminded that it is a sign of fruitfulness and blessing.

the river of God is full of water.

What an image of abundance! We often use the expression "dry" to refer to our spiritual lives when we have failed to replenish ourselves regularly from the Source of all we need, and this image of a river, FULL of water, reminds me that God is never lacking.

You prepare the grain,* for so you provide for the earth.

This reminds me of Isaiah 55: "As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth. It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

Rain and grain are achieve God's purposes just as His word does!

You drench the furrows and smooth out the ridges;* with heavy rain you soften the ground and bless its increase.

I grew up on a farm, and I have seen cracks in the ground when a field is very dry. I have seen the softening effect of rain as it smooths out ridges and as it pools in the furrows. When I am feeling "dry," I imagine God's love raining down on my cracked and barren heart and softening it in a similar way.

You crown the year with your goodness,*

This struck me. He doesn't crown nature or creation, but "the year." What does that mean? The seasons? The life-cyle? Harvest time? It is clear that his goodness to us or to the earth is a great honor and blessing.

and your paths overflow with plenty.

Even when God's paths take us through places of trial or suffering, He is more than we need.

May the fields of the wilderness be rich for grazing,*

The "wilderness" image in the Psalms usually implies a place of danger or trial, so this statement seems to remind us that even in the difficult places, God's provision and abundance are to be found.

and the hills be clothed with joy. May the meadows cover themselves with flocks, and the valleys cloak themselves with grain;* let them shout for joy and sing.

I love these images of nature putting on garments of praise and abundance! I find it whimsical to imagine a cloak made of grain, or a covering made of sheep or cattle. Also, this whole section seems to keep pointing to God's provision of food for the earth as something we should praise and worship him for--and yet we so often take our daily bread for granted. Yet it is God who sustains everything and everyone, whether they worship Him or not. What a love He has for us all....

Drivin' Forward in Faith

2011-06-14T10:47:00.000-05:00

Now that the school year has ended, I have the time to put in on a couple of big projects--helping Blondechick plan her wedding, and helping B20 find a job. There's not much to tell yet on Job A, except we're going to look at wedding and reception venues this week!

On Job B.... We attended the mandatory informational meeting at the Kenosha DVR (Department of Vocational Rehabilitation), and it sounds like the whole process is going to be slow, and we ought to do our best to find him employment without their help. He's filled out applications at several places, and then I thought to take him to Manpower, the temporary agency.

That visit was most encouraging. A woman there spent a lot of time with us, and it sounds likely that he'll be a good fit for a client that will have openings in just another week or so. It would begin as a temporary position, but should lead to employment if he does a good job. So we are praying that this will all come about!

In the meantime, I was looking at bus routes to get him to work, and not finding anything promising. But the car route wasn't too bad of a drive, I noticed. I talked with Papa Rooster about it, and we each had the same sudden inner conviction. Though he makes us nervous, B20 would be just fine driving himself to and from work.

He passed his driver's test, after all--a year ago. In fact, almost exactly a year ago, I began to realize, fighting back panic as I looked through a file drawer for his road test results. As they continued to elude me, I thought, "What if I find them and they just expired yesterday?" My next thought was, "Well, Lord, if that's the case, then we'll know it's because he shouldn't be driving. It's in your hands, Lord."

This was last Friday afternoon. The DMV would be closed on the weekend, probably.

And the test results were dated--June 14! The following Tuesday--today, in fact.

So yesterday, we "cashed in" his road test results for a Wisconsin driver's license. He didn't want to drive home. It's been a year since he's driven, and we had the 15-passenger van because we were dropping off a bike at the bike repair place afterwards.

But once he has a job and we figure out a vehicle for him, we'll get him up to speed again. When he had his learner's permit, we had him driving everywhere, but he'll be a lot more comfortable driving the same roads every day.

It's funny how sometimes God nudges you along. That very night, after Papa R and I had decided he ought to get his license, I was meeting with some women from our church, and they ended up sharing stories of elderly relatives or clients who were driving long past the time that someone should have taken away their car keys. So I told them that we were thinking of letting B20 get his license, and they agreed that he'd probably be just fine. (His vision, hearing and reflexes are fine, after all!) Then one friend commented that being a good driver has a lot to do with noticing things that are unusual or out of the ordinary, and that is one facet of B20's autism--he's very observant about things that are out of place. Her comment seemed like a confirmation from the Lord that if the route is familiar, he'll do fine.

And I am feeling dizzy with relief at no longer being The One Driving Him Back and Forth to Work Every Day. I woke up one morning a couple weeks ago filled with anxiety about that role. I didn't even think, then, of him getting his license after all, but God heard my prayers and I believe this is truly His answer, not mine.

The less-exciting news is that now we have to start paying for auto insurance for him. (At least he turns 21 in 6 months!) But if gets a job, he's happy to pay his own insurance, and pay us back for a car too.

So we're drivin' forward in faith...that he'll get the job...that we'll find cheap wheels for him when the time comes...that he'll be safe...and so will those around him!

Summer Theater and Me

2011-06-09T11:57:00.000-05:00

I am trying to remember what first planted the idea into my head.

A couple months ago, we were back in our old stomping grounds at a musical production of Alice in Wonderland. An old friend, a dad, whose wife died of cancer a little over three years ago, told me that he was doing well, considering, and he had recently been in a musical himself. He and his son had tried out together and his son was cut, but he decided to do it anyway. He thought it might be good to have some fun, he said, after three years of the single dad/grieving widower thing. And he'd had a blast.

I know that the thought had already crossed my mind before this conversation. But it kind of teased a thought out into the open: Why don't I audition for a summer production?

I love having my kids involved in theater. I loved my last session of teaching Drama 1. I have very little to look forward to this summer. Why not step outside my comfort zone, do something new and different, and gain a little personal experience?

I've been in two other musicals. One was in 1983, my senior year of high school, when we did The Wiz. That's the Diana Ross version of The Wizard of Oz, and it was probably really hilarious to see us very white hayseed small-town teens trying to groove our way down the Yellow Brick Road. I was in the chorus and had a lot of trouble learning the dances, I think. I have the impression that the choreographer gave up on me.

My second time was four years ago, when our whole family was in a community theater production of Narnia, the Musical. I was Mrs. Macready, the no-nonsense housekeeper. She's in the first and last scenes only, which was fine with me. And she don't dance.

Our wonderful director of Robin Hood is directing a community theater production of Bye Bye Birdie this summer, so I initially thought of auditioning for it. I would have loved to have her for a director! It was a long commute to rehearsals though; they were twice a week, and there were two weekends of performances. It seemed like a lot of time, especially if no one else in my family was doing it with me. My younger three would all have been interested, but only age 14 and up could audition.

I was praying about it and leaning toward doing it if Papa Rooster would give his blessing, when I heard about another production, closer to home, of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It would be less than half the commute, half the gas expense, half the rehearsal time and half the number of performances--and Chicklet8 and B6 could audition too. That clinched it, PR agreed.

Auditions were just three days later, so I had to quickly memorize 32 bars of a song and put a little movement and expression into it while singing--quite a nerve-wracking task! It was hard to think about note placement and foot placement at the same time, without forgetting about facial expression, proper breathing and singing the right verse of my song ("I Get A Kick Out of You" from Anything Goes).

Meanwhile, Chicklet8 pulled out her last audition ("Do-Re-Mi"), blew off the dust and was ready to go. Unbelievable.

B6 had never auditioned for a show before, but he knew a verse and a chorus of the Oompa Loompa song and we figured that would work. It wasn't like there was a role he was going for; we knew he and Chicklet would be in the Kids' Chorus, if it appeared they both could sing. For me, I couldn't imagine what else I would be besides one of Joseph's brothers' wives? Or would there be another small chorus part? The Narrator has to be a great vocalist, and no, surely they would not see me as Mrs. Potiphar. What if not enough men/boys tried out and they needed some women to be Brothers? I thought that might be fun, but it would be tough to sing that low for a whole show....

Both the kids did well, and my one minute on stage passed quickly. To my surprise, I was told I was called back. I had not thought about this or known when callbacks were, and I would have to rearrange Sunday afternoon plans to make it. I was also told that at call backs, I would take part in a dance audition.

Oh dear.

I texted Blondechick: I got a callback! She texted back: It is so weird, ME hearing that from YOU. Go Mama!

At callbacks, I was delighted to recognize many faces I knew--mostly teens from two chapters of our Christian youth theater group, who were surprised to see me, instead of my kids, at the audition. There were two women my age, both friends of mine, with kids also trying out; I knew about one, and the other was a pleasant surprise. Her husband was there too, and one other dad. It looked like there were nearly enough tallish males to be Joseph's 11 brothers.

We women had to learn a page from one of the Narrator's songs, and then each one of us had to sing it--expressively--alone, in front of the group. Then we had to go learn about 16 bars of a dance, and sit and wait while the men sang. I went over and over the dance steps in my mind while the men sang "Close Every Door"--step, turn, turn, drop, knee, snap, snap, snap, pivot turn, kick, step--and when it was my group's turn to run through it again once more, and then do it for real...I did okay. I have no idea how it looked, but I wasn't lost. And my singing/acting attempt was not bad, it seemed. So I was pleased!

Then we drove home to wait for the cast list. I am usually as anxious and impatient as my kids are, when they have auditioned--and it may actually have been a tad easier to wait on my own fate than it usually is to wait on theirs. We only had to wait hours, though, compared to their usual 24 or so, so it wasn't quite the same.

...And there is my name! I'm a Wife! One of my friends is also a Wife, but she's Jacob's wife, it says--ah, her husband is Jacob. All the other wives are under 20, I note. I must be Reuben's wife, I'll bet--he's the oldest Brother--and ah, Reuben will be played by one of the dads--oh, Mrs. Potiphar's dad, I see--and the only Brother out of his teens. My other friend is the Baker, and her daughter is the Narrator--whoopee!--and one of my other young friends is Joseph! Oh, oh, and both Chicklet and B6 are listed there in the Kids' Chorus! B6 made it!

And that's the end of my tale, for now. Rehearsals don't start for two weeks, and I am impatient to start learning songs and coaching B6 and Chicklet. I'm even eager to begin learning dance steps! Now I'm a little sorry that there is only one rehearsal a week. I'm nervous...and excited.... Mostly excited!

Lessons Behind Us

2011-06-08T11:04:00.000-05:00

Though the private Christian school that B16 and BC18 attended has been out for two weeks, B12, Chicklet8 and I have been pushing hard to complete their end-of-year projects and assignments for the virtual schools they attended this year...and we are DONE!

Ahhhh, it feels so good.

Overall, I really liked the virtual charter school option that we have here in Wisconsin. It's been great for B12, especially, to report to someone else besides Mom and receive "for real" grades. With Mom, it's an A every time because she works with you until you understand the concept (not a bad thing, but the burden is on Mom). With a teacher, if you miss a lot of problems, you get a bad grade or even fail...then it's up to you to get the help you need, or fall further behind--a needed "reality motivator" for B12. He did a great job of tackling the assignments on his own and completing his work with hardly any help--I was so proud of him! He often needed help with time management, since his deadlines were rarely hard and fast, but it was a great opportunity for him to begin to develop those skills that many of us adults struggle with. (Like what happens when you procrastinate, and how it's better to tackle the unknown assignment early in the week.)

For Chicklet8, I appreciated the accountability more for myself than for her. I just don't enjoy teaching these early skills, like math facts and handwriting and sounding out words. When I feel stretched thin by time pressures, as I have these last couple years, it's just so hard for me to find the patience for these kinds of lessons! So it was good for us both to be pushed along by the school's assignments, and she ended up learning so much this year. I was very pleased.

For inquiring minds, B12 was enrolled in iQ Academy, through the Waukesha public school district, and I really recommend this program. In addition to interactive material to absorb, he had a wide variety of assignments that require higher-level thinking than just memorizing for the test, and his teachers were accessible and accommodating. Chicklet was using the Little Lincoln Interactive curriculum through Wisconsin Virtual Learning, a charter school of the Northern Ozaukee School District. (I think Little Lincoln is available to anyone, though--maybe not for free, as it was to us.) Every day there were online lessons in entertaining video form from Mrs. Walden, the writing teacher, Mr. Reed Moore, the reading teacher, Ms. Triggle, the math teacher, and Chicklet's favorite, Dr. Algae, the science teacher. There were also optional games online, at the end of each five-minute video lesson, and workbook pages, as well as art and science activities. You didn't have to turn in everything, just certain assignments, so often we didn't complete every single activity, but I thought that overall, it was a fantastic program.

B6 was my one purely homeschooled student, in kindergarten, and he was done about 3 months ago, I hate to say. We're still doing a lesson here and a lesson there in Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, but that's been about it for formal education lately. Lots of unschooling going on for him, though, as he spent hours drawing, then began writing strings of letters and numbers, and eventually began phonetically spelling out words and teaching himself simple math facts. Not every day, mind you, but I was thrilled to see him being his own teacher!

As I've been thinking and praying about next year, I feel great peace about the decision at which we've arrived. We are going to put B6 and Chicklet8 in public school for a year or so--we'll see how it goes. I'm calling it a sabbatical, after 14 straight years of homeschooling! Chicklet went there for half a year last year, you may recall, and we both really liked it. It was just a long day for a sweet little girl who missed her family, and I didn't make her go back after Christmas break. But she's so excited about going back as a third grader, and B6 will hopefully get the same Christian teacher that Chicklet had for first grade. He's ready for more structure and mental challenge, and I think he'll get it better there than from me. As I said, I just don't enjoy these early lessons, creating motivational challenges for me.

I also long to give Chicklet the lessons she is begging for--cooking, sewing, and art. I hope if someone else is in charge of the essentials, I'll have more energy for the extras! But I am realistic. They will be gone from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., with an earlier bedtime than we are used to, plus they will have homework and piano practice, and AWANA and theater will start back up again...and I'm afraid I won't get much time in the evenings with my little ones, unless I am creative and intentional, which is something I can't wait to think more about. I just know that the rest of my family needs me too, Mom has been stretched too thin these last couple years, and the younger ones' education is something I can delegate next year, at least. This plan just feels right, and I feel peace from the Lord about it.

Only B12 will be at home, and he'll do iQ Academy again, since he's able to work so independently and it was such a good experience. We don't feel that the public middle school would be a good option for him, and the Christian school is a big expense. So it'll be just him and me next year, unless B16 decides to do iQ Academy instead of the Christian high school--unlikely, but a possibility he's praying about. It would give him more time to focus on guitar, voice, song-writing, and brushing off his piano knowledge--all things he's really desiring to do--but he wouldn't be able to play sports or see his friends as often, so it's his call. He's got the summer to decide.

Blondechick will be at Trinity International University, we are nearly certain. Still financial details to work out, and in two weeks she has an audition to see if they will give her a music scholarship for voice. We've been told that there is still money there, if they need her in one of their vocal groups, and she doesn't have to major in music, so she might as well see what happens, eh?

B20, Lord willing, will be working. The job search has been progressing at a snail's pace so far. Prayers appreciated!

For now, it's just great to have the school year behind us and the summer looming. Ahhhhhh..... Bring it on!

Heigh Ho, Robin Hood! (Part Two)

2011-06-03T11:24:00.001-05:00

So in my last post, I said that it's swordfighting and adventure that make Robin Hood different from other shows.

Robin Hood always gets his man...and so does B12!

But Robin Hood also has singing...

Dancing...

B12 in front row

Boasting...

(Little John is cheating.)

And pathos. One of the sub-plots involved this old widow and her three grandchildren, taxed to the last farthing by the Sheriff of Nottingham, who enter Sherwood Forest seeking assistance from Robin Hood. This is their reaction as scary-looking Little John approaches. That's Chicklet8 on the right, who has the next line: "I'm afraid, Grandmother."

Here she explains, "The Sheriff took ALL our money!"

To the tall stranger (really King Richard) she denounces "the horrible old Sheriff!"

She had a lot of fun in the crowd scenes too.

That's one of B16's friends on stilts right behind her!

Little John reminisces about the first time he met Robin Hood. You know the story...

How they both wanted to cross a bridge and decided their staffs would have to settle the impasse, the fight ending with Robin Hood in the water...pulling Little John in, when he offers his hand to help Robin out.

Will Scarlet also shares the story of his first meeting with Robin Hood, not recognizing him, sword fighting with him, then discovering that his dueling partner is his cousin, Robin Hood!

Then B12 steps up. "I remember the first time I met Robin. He was walking in the forest and I was walking in the forest. And I stepped on a stick. And he turned around and looked at me. And I kinda...waved at him."

This little story is followed by silence and the sound effect of crickets chirping. "Good story!" Will Scarlet finally exclaims, clapping B12 on the shoulder. B12 enjoyed his part and got a laugh every show.

Look closely at Maid Marian's dress, as she suffers the unwanted attentions of Prince John.

Blondechick wore this same dress, six years ago, when she was a Maiden in Robin Hood! The gold band has been added to the bottom, and the cape at the shoulders, but the rest of the dress and the headpiece are the same. (Hmm, I wonder if we could find a picture of her in it?)

Oh, so many reasons why this was one of my favorite shows EV-ER. So thankful...

To God!

Heigh Ho, Robin Hood!

2011-06-01T09:31:00.002-05:00

What fun we had doing this musical!

To start with, I love the story. When I was in elementary school, I read Howard Pyle's The Merry Adventures in Robin Hood and fantasized about speaking the King's English and being a castaway with the Merry Band! Will Scarlet, Little John and Allan-a-Dale were like big brothers, in my imagination.

When we first started in theater, Robin Hood was our first show, so the musical version has always held a special place in my heart. Blondechick was just 12 years old, and she was a Maiden. B16 was then B9, and I couldn't talk him into auditioning. But he ushered and watched all 6 shows, and by the end of the run, he was ready to try out for the next one.

So I was thrilled when I heard that our new theater group in Kenosha was going to do Robin Hood! To my delight, even B16 decided to audition. Turns out he always thought Little John looked like a fun role, and he had the height and the voice for it, so he worked hard to convince the directors that he could do the part. And he certainly pulled it off, winning a Screwball Award for his comedic performance...that kept getting funnier every show!

It's sword-fighting and adventure that makes Robin Hood so different from other shows.

The Sheriff's soldiers surround Robin, Little John, Will Scarlet and Friar Tuck.

While Robin Hood battles the Sheriff of Nottingham...

Little John takes on Kaspar, the Sheriff's henchman (who did not have a green t-shirt showing during actual performances!). Their battle ends with them holding each other at swordpoint, and each show, they became more menacing and mocking of each other after they had dropped their swords. Finally, one night Little John ended it by turning away, brushing his hair off his forehead as he did so, to the delighted amusement of the crowd...so naturally the "hair flip" stayed for the last two performances.

See Bantam12 in the middle there? (Wearing socks, because his boot laces were being fixed during this dress rehearsal.) He got compliments on his great facial expressions, like the one above (click to enlarge)--during this slow-motion epic action scene. So other boys began to work on their facial expressions, including his brother, who decided that Little John concentrates on his fighting the way Michael Jordan does on making a basket--with his tongue pushing out of his mouth! Audience members loved it, so every show the tongue went further and further out of the mouth--and from side-to-side too--in slow-motion.

One other funny moment happened during the slow-motion scene, when Little John and Kaspar swing their swords toward each other and hit at the top of their arc...but in one performance they missed! In slow motion! "It was an epic FAIL," they joked afterwards.

But the best scene was when Robin Hood and Little John dress up like gypsy women to distract Prince John while the Merry Band robs him blind.

B16 had to speak up high, sing in his head voice and dance in a dress. He did it all with lots of high-pitched laughter and without a trace of self-consciousness. We were so proud of him!

"Listen, listen to the gypsy dance...it will put you in a gypsy trance...."

The scene ended with the gypsy dancers stripping the entranced and dancing Prince John of his royal robes. Here's when he "comes to."

"Guards! Bring me a royal covering!"

Lots more to come--B12 and Chicklet8 got to do lots of fun stuff in this show too! But I was especially proud of B16 for the way he embraced his role like he's never done before. He says he's not interested in any of the shows they are doing next year and it would take a special show for him to invest that kind of time again. I hope it's not his last one, but it may have been.

Celebrating Our Girlie

2011-05-28T10:21:00.000-05:00

Today is Blondechick's high school graduation party! It's the perfect opportunity to share photos Papa Rooster has taken that I haven't had time to post...and recap her senior year activities at the same time.

Worship Team. She's been a lead vocalist on one of the school's student-led worship teams all year, and she has loved it. She hopes to continue in this role at college. (all photos--click to enlarge)

Her last time singing in Chapel. (They have it once a week.)

Choir. A few weeks ago she performed with her show choir, Guys 'n' Dolls, for the last time. (They also performed this number on their choir tour in California, and at the local and state levels at Solo and Ensemble contest.)

Notice that B16 is there too (the tall guy in back wearing glasses). They have really enjoyed being in Choir and Show Choir together, so their final concert was bittersweet for all of us. B16 is really going to miss his sister next year, though he's also eager to spread his wings alone. And her? She says she wishes she could put him in a dress and make him Maid of Honor in her wedding! I blame their unusual closeness on their years of homeschooling. (More at-times-needed evidence to myself that all my effort was worth it!)

(And thanks to you, Matt, I now think of the Holy Father every time I type "B16"!)

It's a choir tradition that the seniors perform one number alone. This year their song was "Lean on Me," the Glee version, with a lot of jazz riffs which the choir teacher asked Blondechick to solo on. Here she is, really gettin' into it!

Don't have a picture of it, but she also sang second soprano in a trio at Solo and Ensemble, getting excellent marks at both local and state level for their rendition of the folk song "Nelly Bly."

Senior Prom.

She was really pleased with how her hair turned out, and I was happy to have helped with it. I was researching medieval hairstyles for Robin Hood, when I came across a few images I thought Blondechick might like for prom. From them, she pulled ideas together and went to two florists that evening, but neither had the red rosebuds. So the morning of prom, while she was at school, I tracked down the roses, Papa Rooster took B12 and Chicklet to their piano lesson, and I was able to go to her hair appointment with her and paint her nails while the stylist did her hair. It was good to be able to spend that hour with her on a significant day in her life, in the midst of such a busy season. It seems it's all flown by so quickly....

Soccer.

This is kind of a bittersweet topic as well, because the women's soccer season continues through June here, her team was just seeded number one in their division!, and she's out with a knee injury--probably for the season, her doctor thinks. (She just had an MRI yesterday, so we'll see what it shows. She's off her crutches, at least.)

But it was a joy to watch her play!

She's got nuttin' if she ain't got hustle!

She's been a starting forward on the varsity team this whole season.

She thought about playing soccer in college, but has decided that it's too big of a time commitment. So this is it for her. Would you say a prayer for her knee, that she might be able to play in a couple more games before her soccer career ends?

Mugging for the camera....

And finally....

Graduation.

Though the doctor ordered them, notice she isn't on crutches!

What a privilege to have been her teacher, from kindergarten through ninth grade, and then to watch her build so wonderfully on that foundation: She was inducted into National Honor Society this year and ended up on the highest honor roll for the year, with an excellent cumulative GPA. In college, she's thinking of majoring in either Communications or--get ready for it--English/Literature! This is my daughter who never reads for pleasure--but she enjoyed the reading for her British Literature class this year so much, and found the writing part so easy, that she's now considering this major, to her mother's amazement and joy. But I'll be delighted with whatever she studies!

Couldn't be more proud of our girlie!

Engagement Story, Part Two

2011-05-26T10:21:00.000-05:00

So...

His thought of proposing on the soccer field was foiled by her soccer injury on Wednesday. And with only one day of school left, what was Her Hero to do, to get that ring on her finger before graduation on Friday night?

On Wednesday night, he invited over a group of buddies to help him brainstorm, and by midnight, they had a plan. It involved driving all over Kenosha County, filming in the darkness (even outside our own house at 2 a.m., we found out later), having to explain themselves to several policemen, and then a whole lot of editing work before 1:47 on Thursday.

But we didn't know that.

The phone call I received from Her Hero's mom (in which I learned of her injury for the first time) was not only to see if Blondechick was okay, but to make sure that she was still going to school for her last day, and to suggest that we show up in her Bible class at 1:47 p.m. Papa Rooster should bring his camera, she urged.

Bible class? we wondered. But it's the one class that all the seniors are in together, and it's held in a large auditorium, not a classroom, so we could see the potential. Both PR and I had other plans for that time period, but we began rearranging our day.

The younger kids and I had a 10 a.m. performance of Robin Hood, our first school day show. There were professional pictures afterward, and then a fundraiser at a nearby Wendy's which I had organized, so I needed to be there--with one eye on my watch. And you know how those last ten minutes always go so much faster when you have to be somewhere? I was eating salad as fast as I could and enjoying the conversation at our table, when suddenly I realized that the ten minutes I guessed I had left was more than passed, and if I didn't leave immediately, I might miss the whole thing. So I had to stand up abruptly and say to my friends, "So sorry, but I've got to rush out or I'm going to miss seeing my daughter get engaged!" I grabbed B16, who wanted to go too, and B6, because Her Hero's 6-year-old brother would be there, and left the other two to go home with friends. "You can't just say something like that and LEAVE!" one of the moms at the table yelled good-naturedly at my retreating back....

We made it. (Phew!) In fact, we had to wait a little while to enter, as the teacher conducted class as usual. Our cue was the lights going out. At that moment, a video was projected onto the screen, as two of Her Hero's friends came to her seat to escort her, limping without her crutches, to a seat on the stage facing the screen. Her Hero appeared on it, offering to take her on a tour of significant spots around Kenosha, where they had had special dates or events, including our front porch--the site of their first kiss--and the Kemper Center, where they had attended our church together and first prayed together. It ended with him at her school, where they had first met, and showed him, in the video, opening the door of the auditorium where Bible class was held. Then in real life he walked through that same door, and...

I'll let the pictures take it from there!

Her Hero's parents made sure everyone else got a ring, too!

She was thrilled with how he did it, in front of all their friends--it turned out that Plan C was probably the best! They haven't set a date yet, but they are thinking about next summer.

* * * *

More pics to come, over the next few days...of Robin Hood, graduation and more. It's been CRAZY. It's been hectic. But it's been so good and so exciting. I keep thinking how great these days are and how thankful I am for it all...if I can only live through it!

We drove an hour yesterday to B12's and Chicklet8's Piano Guild judging, and they both got great scores! But I am so glad that's over. Twice-weekly piano lessons and a lot more practice time than usual was not what I needed this month, though it was a huge accomplishment for them.

Now if I can just get make it through Blondechick's graduation party on Saturday, the rest of my YEAR should be smooth sailing by comparison!

Engagement Story, Part One

2011-05-21T10:03:00.000-05:00

As if we needed to squeeze one more significant life-event into these two weeks--

we've had a final day of college for B20, a senior prom for BC18, finals, and her graduation from high school, plus dress rehearsals and performances of Robin Hood (no small event in the lives of our younger children), and all four grandparents here for graduation and the show--

Blondechick18 had to go and get herself engaged!

Actually, we knew it was coming.

People keep asking me how I feel, and the truth is, I've had nearly six months to work through a lot of emotions. I think it was at Christmas time that Blondechick first broached the idea of getting married...THIS summer.

I was so overwhelmed that I wisely didn't say much at all, initially and to my credit! I was very calm and I asked questions about what they were thinking and I didn't say much of what was going on in my brain.

Not to my credit, the loudest voices in my head were not the ones asking, "Is this God's will?" or "Are they mature enough?" No, the voices screaming in my head were, "How can we possibly plan a wedding for this summer when you're not even engaged yet?!" and "I'm sorry, but I do NOT have time to plan a wedding with everything else we've got going on this spring!"

Okay, got that confession off my chest.

Then my husband and I talked. And talked. And decided it would be good to invite the young man's parents out to dinner, so we could see how they felt about this plan. (Oh dear, am I going to have to come up with a blog name for him, too?)

So we met and enjoyed getting to know them! It is a delightful family that she will be marrying into. We had a wonderful conversation about our young people, in which we all agreed that it was only the timing that we had concerns with. We love him; they love her. We see a lot of good things going on in their relationship. They complement each other in their strengths and weaknesses. Most importantly, it was clear that they are both fully committed to God and to following Him the rest of their lives.

We agreed that this summer was just too soon...but that we would be fine with them getting engaged then.

Then a month or two later, BC's young man invited Papa Rooster out to breakfast, and they had The Talk. After receiving PR's blessing, he indicated that he might even propose before graduation, because he thought Blondechick would like that.

Then we heard nothing more for awhile, except for Blondechick's observation that he sure was working a lot of hours, but he was always broke. He's a store manager working nearly full-time, as well as finishing out his first year of college at a local school; he's living at home to save money. That's one thing we like about him--he's such a hard worker, and he's not a big spender.

Then he invited Papa Rooster to breakfast again, the day of their prom. He just wanted to give us a heads-up that he now had the ring, and it would be soon--before graduation, he hoped.

He had the ring with him at the formal dinner, which was on a boat on Lake Geneva, but the moment never seemed right. The weekend passed.

On Wednesday night, just as we were pulling into the driveway after dress rehearsal, my cell phone rang and it was the young man's mother. "How is Blondechick?" she asked anxiously. "Are they back from the hospital yet?"

Turns out she was injured at her soccer game that afternoon, in a head-on collision with the other team's goalie. She may have had a slight concussion, but the bigger concern was her knee, which was what eventually ended her up in the ER for x-rays. It was a bad sprain, and she would be on crutches for graduation and unable to play soccer for awhile.

Which blew his plan to propose on the soccer field at the game the next day!

In fact, would she even be at school the next day?

To be continued....

(Can't promise when. We have 3 more performances and a strike party this weekend and grandparents to spend time with on Monday, then school to make up on Tuesday and a Piano Guild competition on Wednesday and a graduation party on Saturday. But I'll try!)

Lost in Sherwood Forest

2011-05-18T23:16:00.000-05:00

Y'all know what has happened to me, right?

I'm lost in a Sherwood Forest of...

dress rehearsals...
makeup...
hair...
prom...
soccer games...
extra piano lessons...
laundry...
graduation announcements (done) and invitations (umm....)
graduation...
preparing for house-guests...
performances...
last-minute ticket sales...
...emotions...
...regrets that I can't find time to record it all for posterity and share it with all of you!

It's crazy, stressful, over-the-top busy, but it's also what I signed up for when I started having kids. It's tough when it all converges like this, but it's all good and joyous and happy-making and I am grateful, soooo grateful, to be part of it all.

Now if I can just live through it...!

The Weekly Blur

2011-05-10T08:53:00.000-05:00

The past week has been a blur of:

--soccer practices
--soccer games--Blondechick's, mostly (with all the makeup games rescheduled from all the rainouts, she has games nearly every day these weeks--including Parent Appreciation game last week, which Papa R and I made a special effort to attend together)
--finally B12 got to play a soccer game with his team, since his RH rehearsal schedule allowed
--Robin Hood rehearsals
--homework and homeschooling
--AWANA awards night for Chicklet and B6
--Solo and Ensemble at State, for Blondechick and B16
--Spring Choir concert for Blondechick and B16--their last one together! BC had a big solo in the Senior Song--sung just by the seniors--it was the Glee version of "Lean on Me." (Wish I knew how to download video from our videocamera!) She really got to jazz it up.
--double piano lessons (our teacher is getting Chicklet and B12 ready for "Piano Guild," where they play ten memorized pieces for a judge, so he's giving them twice-weekly lessons this month)

And a couple of big events this weekend:

On Saturday night, we had to divide and conquer. Papa R took the three younger kids to an Ice Show in Milwaukee that two of our young friends from Light of Christ were skating in. B12 had done a little "drama coaching" with them, so he wanted to see their performance! I was heading down to our old stomping ground in IL, to see a production of "Alice in Wonderland" by our old theater group. B16 and Blondechick were going to go with me, but BC ended up spending the weekend in bed, sick. So it was just B16 and me that got to see many of their friends in their very last show. It would have been BC's last show too, if she were still there, so it was bittersweet to watch it without her, and hang out with the old group at Portillo's after the show. So many good friends there.

We spent the night with Grandma and Grandpa, and then went to our old church in the morning. Papa R drove down with the rest of the kids, including B20, whom he picked up at college on the way. It was the first time we'd all been back, as a family, to our old church in over two years (well, without Blondechick--still too sick). (No one could believe how tall the kids are; they said photos are great; but they don't show height! B16 is now the tallest one in the family, by the way; at 5'11" he's a half-inch taller than his dad and older brother.)

We were joined there at Church of the Resurrection by my father, who was in town for the weekend for the 55th reunion of the Class of '56 at Wheaton College. And when we walked into Rez, who should we see but one of our singles from Light of Christ! It was one of those "What are YOU doing here?" conversations; but since it was reunion/graduation weekend, she was there for the Wheaton College graduation of her younger brother. When we discovered that her parents were also there, we just had to laugh. Her father is the vocal director for Robin Hood and her mother is planning the strike party--she also lent me fabric for the banners I made for Easter Vigil--so we just can't get away from each other, it seems!

We were attending Church of the Resurrection because a dear friend was being ordained to the priesthood, and our Bishop and many other visiting clergy were there. In fact, the rectors of three church plants, all sent out by Rez, were there. All gave greetings to the congregation of our "mother" church, and one (Church of the Cross in Hopkins, MN) informed her that she was about to become a grandmother! (i.e. the church plant was about to send out a team to plant a new church). So incredible to hear. I remember when we first sent them out, years before we left.

It was a wonderful service, and then we were invited to a reception for our friend, so we had more time to renew old friendships. In the meantime, our kids went out to lunch with three of their four grandparents (sorry, Pianomum, that you couldn't have been here too!). After our event, we went to Grandma and Grandpa's so Papa R could spend a little time with his mother on Mother's Day, and my dad and I and PR's dad all went over to visit our old next-door neighbor, a single man the same age as my father and father-in-law. He hadn't changed a bit, and it was sure good to see him.

Finally we all left IL to head home by way of B20's college campus, so Grandpa could see it. B20 only has 3 more days there, with finals this week. But it's a campus that Grandpa had never seen, and we are hoping that all will work out for Blondechick to go there next year. She's been accepted and it's her first choice, but we still have financial aid details to work out officially.

Grandpa leaves this morning, and then it's stir, rinse, repeat! More soccer, piano, Robin Hood rehearsals and then performances, graduation weekend...

And tonight is Showcase for our theater group's classes, and my first as a teacher! My Drama 1 class is putting on a scene that I adapted from the script of Charlotte's Web, since we've been studying "Acting Animals." Chicklet is the Goose, and B16 has been my aide, so he'll be helping adjust mikes for my actors. B12 is in a dance class, studying Irish dancing, African dancing and break dancing--can't wait to see his class.

Just a couple more weeks of craziness!

Happy Birthday, Bantam16!

2011-05-03T15:53:00.000-05:00

Oh, my, these birthdays. They come around far too often.

I can't believe that half our kids are now old enough to drive. B16 just got his learner's permit about a month ago. He'll be eligible to get his license in early October, so he should be able to drive himself to school next year. With Blondechick18 gone to college, that will be a tremendous help! He's going to be a good driver.

This young man has had a good year. He played JV soccer last fall and added cross country when he realized he could do both; next year he'll probably just do cross country. He has always loved running alone or with his dad, and this year he added some home weight-lifting, push-ups, pull-ups and more to his workout. He took choir as an elective this year and added show choir as well--at the persistent urging of his sister--and ended up enjoying both. He's also had a good year in an advanced art class. This spring, he's been rehearsing with B12 and Chicklet8 in his role as Little John in our theater group's musical production of Robin Hood (coming up May 20-22!).

But his first love is guitar! He's been teaching himself chords and strumming patterns, and he's even tried his hand at writing a few songs. He's in a band with friends--he's the lead singer--and has a couple of "side bands" as well--friends that he plays guitar with and they've written a few songs together. None of these groups really play anywhere yet besides at each other's houses, but they are learning so much together. Recently, he's also become more involved in singing at church, and he's about to start playing guitar with our little worship team, unplugged at first, just to learn. He's also thinking about taking the worship team class and playing in chapel next year at his school. (So many electives, so little time....)

This summer, he'll be spending a month at Honey Rock, the same camp he went to last year for two weeks. Even though it's going to be a big chunk out of his summer, he's excited to go back. He grew so much spiritually at camp last summer, and this school year has been a chance to work out some of those lessons in real life, sometimes the hard way. But he's making a lot of good choices, and he's trying hard to pursue God and follow His leadings. We can't ask for more than that!

So proud of you, son.

Blessed is the man
   who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
   or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
   and who meditates on his law day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.

~Psalm 1:1-3