Please Pray

Please pray for my friend Caroline (one of those life-long friends I made at Wheaton, as I mentioned in the last post!) who just lost her husband this morning to a brain aneurysm.  They have children and Roy was very involved with them, maybe even a stay-at-home dad, I'm not sure; I know Carloline depended on him for so much.  He was a rock.  They had a very close marriage and she is just devastated. 

Lord, pour out your mercy upon them.

College Questions

Blondechick and I sure had a great time visiting Wheaton College.  More accurately, she visited Wheaton; I visited with friends!

And it was probably more helpful to me than sitting on an Old Testament class, because it gave me a chance to process--out loud, which always helps me--some of the decision points we are facing in the coming months.  A big one is whether a Christian college education is worth the cost.

When I was choosing a college, it never ever crossed my mind that I might want to choose a state school or a secular private college.  I think I must have instinctively guessed that if I was going to leave the security of my church and family and become independent, it would be good to be surrounded by Christians as I first spread my wings.  I didn't think of a Christian college as shelter, but as support--like warm, friendly air currents to help me lift off.  Storms may come later on, but you want nice weather when you're first learning to fly!

Of course, I also chose the college I did because I thought the professors there would be academically excellent, and good mentors as well.  I hoped to make Christian friends there that I would have for the rest of my life--which happened!--Papa Rooster included!  I wanted to gain a Christian perspective on the world, and I read so many good books, heard so many good speakers, had so many stimulating conversations that all brought me much further along in my adult faith.

And I see Bantam19 and Blondechick17 and I think of launching them from our home...and I want, for Blondechick especially, what I received.  She wants it too, and the expense seems like a good investment.  But B19 is a more confusing case.

Because of his autism, we're not as certain that he can handle a full course load.  We're also not sure how well he will function independently--whether he can manage time, money and priorities--and we have little sense of what direction to steer him.  There is no clear area that he's gifted in or passionate about that will translate to a career, that we can identify yet.  So it seems unwise financially to start him out in a traditional college setting.  What he wants is to live at home, work and take a few classes in computers, and that seems like a good plan to us.

But are we short-selling him?  If he were able to complete a four-year degree--and surely we could find a school where he could pass classes as he's done successfully all through high school--his options after college would be greater.  He would benefit as much as Blondechick from a Christian environment while he transitions toward independence. 

And there are several potential hitches in our current plan.  One is if he's unable to get a driver's license.  Then how will he get to a job, or get to class?  There are buses, but I'd have to drive him and pick him up at the nearest (not so) bus stop.  He'll attempt to pass the driver's test in June, and God could surely smooth the way before him...but how likely is he to get a job if he can't say that he has a driver's license?  And if he doesn't have a job, what will he do all day?  He'll play around on the computer and watch reruns of Star Trek, if we let him.  So we should keep him busy taking classes, but where?  The local community college?  The local state school?  Maybe it makes more sense to have him live in a dorm and take more classes, if he doesn't have a license or a job...and we're back to the original question of whether the Christian environment is worth the cost?

Lord, you know the plans you have for him, plans to prosper him and not to harm him, plans to give him a hope and a future.  Reveal to us, Lord, what we need to know to put him on the right path.  Go before him and prepare the way--the license, the job, the education--if these are things you have planned for him, and give us the patience, the trust and the faith we need to wait for your timing on these.  And if they are not in Your plans for him, prepare the alternatives--and open our eyes to see them and our ears to hear about them.  Give him direction when he prays, Father.  Help him to hear your voice and follow it.  You made our son.  You love him and you have a future for him.  Help me trust and not be anxious.  Amen.

Goings and Doings

After Holy Week, it was fortunate that we had Spring Break!  I needed a week to recover and get caught up on life.

Only Bantam14 went anywhere--he was invited to go with his friend, friend's mom and brother, brother's friend and his mom (clear as mud?) to spend two nights/three days at a waterpark in Wisconsin Dells.  The rest of us (sans Papa Rooster, who was away on business nearly the whole week!) stayed close to home and enjoyed the down time. (Exception:  Blondechick17, who had to study for the ACT...and who managed to get in lots of friend time anyway!)

We did have one day of planned fun:  We went to Kenosha's newly-completed Civil War Museum with a couple other families from church, and then to McDonald's for lunch.  Our younger kids went home with one of the families, while I took the two oldest to a job fair.  Not a whole lot came of it, it seems, but it did light the fires and we've been slowly getting a few more applications in.  Blondechick has been called back to take a profile test at one place (Maurice's, a clothing store), so we are hoping she'll get hired there.

Not that she could drive herself to work yet if she did get hired!  To our surprise and dismay, when we went online (a month early) to get time slots for her and Bantam19 to take their tests to get their driver's licenses, the earlist times available--at any of the DMV's in an hour radius--were 11 weeks away, on June 14!  We are hoping and praying that both pass the first time, though I am having fears that B19 (our high-functioning autistic son) won't ever be able to pass.  He's not comfortable or good with unpredictability, and other drivers are anything but predictable.  Still, I know God can help him get that license...and I think he'd be fine driving the same route every day to work or classes.

Both Blondechick17 and Bantam19 took the ACT on Saturday of their spring break...and in the next few weeks, we will be visiting colleges.  BC17's schedule is tight, since she doesn't want to miss any soccer games.  She just was elected one of the team captains of the JV team, and the coach was appalled at the thought of her missing a game:  She's the only player on JV that the coach never takes out.  (We all, including her, are mystified and delighted at her unrealized athletic ability!)

On Thursday and Friday, Blondechick and I are visiting Papa Rooster's and my alma mater, Wheaton College.  On Sunday afternoon we drive to Indiana to visit Taylor University, another Christian college.  After that, we'll pick a day to visit the Kenosha branch of the University of Wisconsin, called Parkside, with Bantam19; it's a good place to take general education requirements, saving some money before transferring to a private school. I'll also take B19 to visit Gateway Tech, our local community college which would be a good option for him to get certification in specific skills.  Blondechick and I want to visit a few more local Christian schools as well:  Trinity College in Deerfield, IL), and Moody and North Park in Chicago.  Hopefully we can get those in before everybody goes home for the summer!

At the other end of the family spectrum...Bantam5 has a loose tooth and got a spring haircut.  He and Chicklet7 are going to stay two days and one night with old friends (their own ages--can that friendship be "old"?) while Blondechick and I visit Wheaton (and I'm slipping away to visit a friend or two as well).  Bantam11 is practicing diligently for a piano judging next month; he'll play ten songs and receive feedback.  He also auditioned for a small role--one scene--in a short film that a professor friend is making.  If gets the role, he has to get a perm!  (Otherwise, he'd have had a spring haircut too.)

Finally, a couple of recent kid funnies:

Bantam5 opened the refrigerator door and exclaimed, "GIVE ME SOME HAM AND MAKE ME A KING!"

Blondechick's junior class had a field trip scheduled to view the Dead Sea Scrolls in Milwaukee.  She confessed to her family that when she initially heard about the trip, she thought it was to see the Dead Sea Squirrels!  "How long did you think that?" I asked.  "Oh, a couple of days..."

A Postcard from the Volcano

I have not had much time to spend reading, this year, but this is one book I stayed with and finished in a number of weeks--fast for me, in this season of my life! (It helped that I brought it along to San Antonio.)

But I really enjoyed it because it addressed the question that most of us have privately asked since we first heard of Adolf Hitler: How could the Germans have let a guy like him rise to power?

This novel begins at the start of World War 1 and traces one young Prussian aristocrat from schoolboy to post-college days. He and his friends--representing Poland, Germany, Prussia, Protestant, Jewish, Catholic, Conservative and Communist perspectives--debate and discuss politics and philosophy when they meet together in the evenings to play as a string quartet. Other musicians, students, professors and parents join them occasionally, forming a rich tapestry of characters and viewpoints. From these discussions, the prevailing winds of the times are aired and explored, and as history unfolds, each election or political circumstance is analyzed from several points of view.

As things look worse and worse for the Jews and the German Conservatives, characters make choices that may save them or doom them. Precious belongings are distributed--some are saved, some lost forever. The metaphor of the volcano is well-chosen; it perfectly describes the sense of a devastating, destructive eruption so potentially imminent.

The volcano doesn't erupt in this novel; it ends before the second World War actually breaks out. You learn what happens to characters from a postcard reprinted at the end of the book. It was mentioned in the first chapter, which is really an epilogue, so then you want to re-read that. It's a sad ending.

Yet I left this book with a sense of hope. For one thing, the Church is a symbol of hope throughout the book. Imperfect as it was then (and is in our time), it is "more than German, wider, older and more resilient than Germany; and qualitatively different because she's a divine as well as a human institution," as one Catholic professor describes her to the main character, Max. Max, a Jew as well as a Prussian aristocrat, dies a Catholic, we learn in the epilogue.  As the story unfolds, he is the seeker throughout, looking for God in the turmoil. His friend Adam is a firm atheist who is compelled to reach for God, and one of the most hopeful aspects of the book is how he eventually finds Him--and peace.

Adam writes this to Max:

Like you, I'm sometimes afraid...sometimes angry that all that education and effort and work should only have brought me--us--to this sense of precariousness, as if we were condemned by some malign destiny to live until we die on the edge of a volcano that is sure to erupt sooner rather than later and will kill us when it does. But then I think, Fine. Isn't it only human life tuned up to a higher pitch than usual? Isn't everyone always closer to death than he thinks? 'Keep awake because the master is coming at an hour you do not expect.' Easter Day yesterday--but every day too. Keep awake, Max.

I find hope in his question, "Isn't it only human life tuned to a higher pitch than usual?" In terrible circumstances, "life" can't be repressed. I think of The Diary of Anne Frank, and how much hope and joy she experienced even in confinement. If the worse happens--and in our own day, many worry that we are on a course that will destroy our own nation--even if the worse happens, life goes on. We'll lean harder on God than we ever have. We'll teach our children, by our example, to trust in God and not in themselves, or in a government, or in an economic system. We should always live life as if death were imminent. All God expects is that we stay awake, not letting ourselves be lulled into a complacent sleep. We stay awake, in Him, and do what He shows us to do, one day at a time. And so we will have hope, and not fall into despair.

Loved this story. I got a little bogged down in some of the philosophy, especially at the beginning. But I have always found that philosophy makes more sense if you skim through it quickly, so I suggest that approach, if needed! It's worth pushing through to enjoy the rare scope of this thoughtful book.

(Thanks, Kay!)

Friday Fun

Remember the all-church talent show we held in our home on New Year's Eve? Well, here are a couple of highlights!

Blondechick17 (playing Galinda, the Good Witch) and her very talented friend (playing the Wicked Witch) sing how they feel about each other as roommates in the duet "What Is This Feeling?" from Wicked:



(lyrics here, if you'd like to consult them)

Bantam11 (then 10) and his friend (who just starred in Mulan as Mushu) sing "Why Am I Me?" from Shenandoah:



(a duet between a black boy and a white boy in the Civil War era)

Tell you what I’m thinkin’
Honestly and true
How come I come to life as me
And not to life as you

Lord, I know the feeling
‘Cause when I’m by myself
I wonder why
I’m who I am
And not somebody else

‘Way down underneath it all
Where no one gets to see
I bet it feels no different
Bein’ you or bein’ me.

Why was I born
When I was born
Who I was born to be?
Why was I given
The body I’m livin’ in?

Why am I Gabriel?
Why am I Anderson?
Why am I me, why am I me…

Why am I here,
Why am I now,
Why am I who you see?
Why was I handed
The person I landed in?

Why am I Gabriel?
Why am I Anderson?
Why am I me, why am I me…

I figure somebody puts
the “who” into folks
like droppin’ a stone in a lake.
So maybe I’m thinkin’
I’m Abraham Lincoln
And somebody made a mistake.

If I were born
Somebody else
Betcha I still would be me.
So many bein’s
I know I could be me in
Why must I be in
The bein’ you see me in?

Why am I Gabriel?
Why am I Anderson?
Why am I me, why am I me…
Why am I me?
Why am I me?

Holy Week, Oh My!

Oh, my...

What a wonderful journey through Holy Week!

This was only our second year doing the full schedule of services. It's so much work, but so rewarding! It reminds me of staging a theater production--so many people are needed up front, behind the scenes and in the audience, and once you've worked together, walked the week together, and seen the Lord show up and infuse all your efforts with His presence and powerful Spirit, it draws you together in marvelous ways. We were delighted to have many visitors, and most of our own congregation at more of the services than we had last year.

Each service had its own highlights. The music was consistently excellent and moving; the sermons were powerful; the mood was right and everyone present was engaged and worshipful. The teens and tweens were really worshipping, along with the adults, and led us in worship at several points--in music, as acolytes and being the first to venerate the cross on Good Friday. We baptized one teenager at the Vigil--a very special and emotional moment--and after he donned an alb and made his first communion, he and Bantam14 exchanged a high-five that brought tears to some eyes! Blondechick sang "How Beautiful" and "Hungry" at the Maundy Thursday service during the footwashing portion, with a new maturity in voice and spirit, and there were so many other moving musical moments. We had many fabulous musicians contributing to our musical worship, but it was especially wonderful to have my brother-in-law singing and playing guitar at all of the services. He's so centered and so excellent at what he does, yet has such humility, and I know God was really ministering through him.

Personally, I was delighted that all the readings at the Easter Vigil went so well, since that was my area to coordinate! Each reader or group of readers engaged with the Scriptures in their own way--which brought variety, some hilarity and always new meaning to the passages that are repeated each year in the Vigil service. We had percussion accompaniment to some of the readings, water noise, human-produced animal noises and other sound effects, and some visual effects as well.

I was most pleased with the final reading which I staged, the Gathering of God's People from Zephaniah 3:12-20, in which we had children dressed in international or Old Testament costumes being "gathered" by the reader. A couple children had lines--one came down the main aisle, in a sari, dancing and shouting, "Sing, O Daughter of Zion; Shout, O Israel!" Another followed her soon after, dressed as a king, proclaiming, "The king of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst; you shall never again fear evil." We had a lame person enter--a boy who really has a broken foot and was on crutches--which got a chuckle from the audience. The proud and arrogant entered and were "removed from among you" (Bantam10 and his friend did a great job of looking haughty as they entered and then offended when they were sent out); later, they re-entered, representing the "outcast" (looking a little more humble this time). At the end there were 8 children standing on either side of the reader, pulling in closer on the final "when I gather you together." The reader, Abbi, did such a great job of ministering the text while also engaging with the children, beckoning and inviting them in, and pausing as they entered--all perfectly timed and so beautifully, invitingly done. We had only had two rehearsals, but the children performed flawlessly! I was so pleased.

I think I could go on and on, and I wish I had pictures! Here are some from last year's Vigil, and there is a link there to pictures from last year's Stations of the Cross service too.

Rejoice with us in God's goodness! His blessing, his mercy and his saving works were so evident in our services last week, and we are so thankful and joyful!!!

The Lord is Risen!

This is the night, when you brought our fathers, the children of Israel, out of bondage in Egypt, and led them through the Red Sea on dry land.

This is the night, when all who believe in Christ are delivered from
the gloom of sin, and are restored to grace and holiness of life.

This is the night, when Christ broke the bonds of death and hell,
and rose victorious from the grave.

How wonderful and beyond our knowing, O God, is your mercy and
loving-kindness to us, that to redeem a slave, you gave a Son.

How holy is this night, when wickedness is put to flight, and sin is
washed away. It restores innocence to the fallen, and joy to those
who mourn. It casts out pride and hatred, and brings peace and concord.

How blessed is this night, when earth and heaven are joined and man is reconciled to God.

~from the Exsultet, a sung portion of the Easter Vigil liturgy, which Father Rooster sings so beautifully every year!

(The photo is a close-up of the altar at our church, taken by my husband.)

Maundy Thursday

(artist Sieger Koder)

The Washing of Feet

What could be stranger than this?

What more awesome?

He who is clothed with light as with a garment (Ps. 104:2)

is girded with a towel.

He who binds up the waters in His clouds (Job 26:8),

who sealed the abyss by His fearful Name,

is bound with a girdle.

He who gathers together

the waters of the sea as in a vessel (Ps. 33:7)

now pours water in to a basin.

He who covers the tops of the heavens with water (Ps. 104:3)

washes in water the feet of His disciples.

He who has weighed the heavens with His palm

and the earth with three fingers (Is. 40:12)

now wipes with undefiled palms

the soles of His servants’ feet.

He before whom every knees should bow,

of those that are in heaven,

on earth and under the earth (Phil.2:10)

now kneels before His servants.

Cyril of Alexandria (375-444)

(swiped from my friend Barbara's email list-serve. Thanks, Barbara!)