Arrrgghhhh...

My plans for better blogging are going right out the window this week!

The Bantams 12 and 16 are enrolled in a virtual school, you may remember.  They have enjoyed its flexibility to include many other learning opportunities, and in fact, this semester B16 has logged over 200 hours of guitar lessons and practice, voice lessons and practice, playing with two bands and the worship team at church, and recording in a studio with one of his bands.  He's receiving one fine arts credit for all these hours, and he's also receiving a half-credit for the over 90 "service learning" hours he's logged, doing set-up and take-down at church, serving on the worship team, assistant-coaching a Catholic school soccer team, and helping another ministry with set-up, decorating and take-down at their annual fundraising dinner.

He and B12 were able to work at the Christmas tree farm, and now they are both in rehearsals for The Sound of Music. B12 has put in the hours on piano, played soccer and attended all-day Redemption tournaments.  But NOW the flexibility has ended, and the hard-and-fast deadline for all the projects, papers and assignments is HERE!

It's this weekend, I mean.  So this week I've been spending more time than usual supervising, assisting, prioritizing, teaching--and nagging.  They're both going to be okay, I think--if they use their time wisely! And if I help move things along a bit on their biggest projects.  They just work so much better and faster if I am involved.

***

In other news, it was my birthday on Monday, and I received lots of affirming words on Facebook and from my husband and kids.  Some of my favorite lines from my kids:

There's really not much to say other than the usual "I love you" and also thank you for taking care of me, and helping me, and teaching me many good valuable lessons about how to live my life the right way, and stuff like that. ~B20

You are beautiful and fun to be around and I will always hope to be like you when I have kids.  People use the nickname "supermom," but I'll go with best friend on steroids. ~Blondechick19

Some moms don't have a sense of style, but you have some real swag. ~B16

I hope that your birthday is very happy.  I also hope you can have a rest from helping B16 and I.  I am very thankful that you are my mother and I wish I wasn't so behind so we could have some time to spend talking about things we want to talk about. ~B12

I've been feeling closer to God each Sunday and I feel really good about it, it makes me feel more comfortable in my life! ~Chicklet8

The day hass kum to my moms brthday. I nivr miss it. 

I love you.  I will olwes be her with you.   ~B6

Celebrating Our Girlie

Today is Blondechick's high school graduation party!  It's the perfect opportunity to share photos Papa Rooster has taken that I haven't had time to post...and recap her senior year activities at the same time.

Worship Team.  She's been a lead vocalist on one of the school's student-led worship teams all year, and she has loved it.  She hopes to continue in this role at college.  (all photos--click to enlarge)

Her last time singing in Chapel.  (They have it once a week.)

Choir.  A few weeks ago she performed with her show choir, Guys 'n' Dolls, for the last time.  (They also performed this number on their choir tour in California, and at the local and state levels at Solo and Ensemble contest.)

Notice that B16 is there too (the tall guy in back wearing glasses). They have really enjoyed being in Choir and Show Choir together, so their final concert was bittersweet for all of us. B16 is really going to miss his sister next year, though he's also eager to spread his wings alone. And her? She says she wishes she could put him in a dress and make him Maid of Honor in her wedding! I blame their unusual closeness on their years of homeschooling. (More at-times-needed evidence to myself that all my effort was worth it!)

(And thanks to you, Matt, I now think of the Holy Father every time I type "B16"!)

It's a choir tradition that the seniors perform one number alone. This year their song was "Lean on Me," the Glee version, with a lot of jazz riffs which the choir teacher asked Blondechick to solo on.  Here she is, really gettin' into it!

Don't have a picture of it, but she also sang second soprano in a trio at Solo and Ensemble, getting excellent marks at both local and state level for their rendition of the folk song "Nelly Bly."

Senior Prom.

She was really pleased with how her hair turned out, and I was happy to have helped with it.  I was researching medieval hairstyles for Robin Hood, when I came across a few images I thought Blondechick might like for prom.  From them, she pulled ideas together and went to two florists that evening, but neither had the red rosebuds.  So the morning of prom, while she was at school, I tracked down the roses, Papa Rooster took B12 and Chicklet to their piano lesson, and I was able to go to her hair appointment with her and paint her nails while the stylist did her hair. It was good to be able to spend that hour with her on a significant day in her life, in the midst of such a busy season.  It seems it's all flown by so quickly....

Soccer.

This is kind of a bittersweet topic as well, because the women's soccer season continues through June here, her team was just seeded number one in their division!, and she's out with a knee injury--probably for the season, her doctor thinks.  (She just had an MRI yesterday, so we'll see what it shows.  She's off her crutches, at least.)

But it was a joy to watch her play!

She's got nuttin' if she ain't got hustle!

She's been a starting forward on the varsity team this whole season.

She thought about playing soccer in college, but has decided that it's too big of a time commitment. So this is it for her.  Would you say a prayer for her knee, that she might be able to play in a couple more games before her soccer career ends?

Mugging for the camera....

And finally....

Graduation.

Though the doctor ordered them, notice she isn't on crutches!

What a privilege to have been her teacher, from kindergarten through ninth grade, and then to watch her build so wonderfully on that foundation:  She was inducted into National Honor Society this year and ended up on the highest honor roll for the year, with an excellent cumulative GPA.  In college, she's thinking of majoring in either Communications or--get ready for it--English/Literature!  This is my daughter who never reads for pleasure--but she enjoyed the reading for her British Literature class this year so much, and found the writing part so easy, that she's now considering this major, to her mother's amazement and joy.  But I'll be delighted with whatever she studies!

Couldn't be more proud of our girlie!

Ode to Bantam 15

Well, we had a birthday back in May...

But we didn't have a good picture of him, since he got his braces off in February...and Mama Hen was barely keeping her head above water to finish out the school year afloat...Bantam19 was accepted at college and we had a graduation....

...and today, he left.  For two weeks at camp.  Back to Honey Rock, where he went last year--quite against his will--but where he had a great experience anyway.  (A rebellious Blondechick came home from the same camp last year saying, "Okay, I get it--I see why I need Christian friends and why you want to switch me to the Christian school.")  This year, although he's been increasingly bummed to discover that he's going to miss out on all the major events of his summer--his good Christian friends have big plans for the 4th of July and for this Christian rock festival--his tune changed as we were packing his bags, and at the church picnic on Sunday, and he sounded pretty psyched to go, now that the time had actually come.

This young man has grown so much over the past year.  Physically, he's added so many inches that most folks don't believe he's not in high school yet, and one of his newest activities is working out, so he's added a little muscle all around as well.  He has always enjoyed running, and he's become quite disciplined about getting in his run, his workout and his guitar practice every day.  Academically, his first year at the private Christian school (that is known for its homework load) was quite a challenge for him, but he showed a dogged determination to keep up, and was rewarded with more A's than any other grade, to his surprise and gratification.  Spiritually, he is growing as well, asking questions, participating in church and Sunday School, manifesting fruits of the Spirit along with all the teenage instabilities.  (For example, he can be quick to lose his temper, but he's just as quick to ask forgiveness and start over.)  He is a favorite as a babysitter, because not only does he play with the kids so that they love him to come, but he always does dishes and even puts away laundry, so the mom loves him to come as well!

So I'm missin' my boy already.  I'm praying for his safety at camp.  I'm praying for a counselor who can really mentor him, friends who will encourage him in all the important ways, challenges that will build him up, and most of all, for encounters with the true and living God.  I pray that his spiritual hearing will be attuned to God's voice, that he'll learn how to hear with his spiritual ears, this boy who loves music so much, for whom listening is such a frequent activity--may he listen and hear during this time, and come home hungry to hear more from his Master, Creator and Friend.

...We have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance.... in the kingdom of light.  (Colossians 1:9-12)

[Help us settle a friendly family discussion: Which photo above do you like better, and why?]

Capturing the Memories

Although today is officially the first day of summer, we've been busy with summer activities for several weeks now!

We started out the season with a week of soccer/basketball camp in the mornings for Chicklet7 and Bantam5, and afternoons for Bantam11.  At the end, everyone got a participation award, but Chicklet7 also earned the Outstanding Shooter award for making the most baskets of any K-5th grader, boy or girl.  She also was given the Best Offensive Player award in soccer.  "She's really aggressive!" her coaches commented, to our surprise and Blondechick's delight, since that's what everyone says about her as a player.

B5 also was given an award of distinction; he earned the Most Improved Player for soccer.  This award was less surprising, however, since on the first day it was all the coaches could do to get him to stop dribbling the ball with his hands. 

In swimming lessons, which started up the next week, he had a better first day.  He ended up as the youngest child in Chicklet's 6-7 year old class, since the 4-5 age group was full, and I was hoping he'd be okay.  Turns out he was the only child that was swimming by the end of the first lesson!  Chicklet was so proud of him.

That same week, we went to Six Flags Great America with some other friends from church.  Without enough free passes to go around, I ended up buying season passes for myself and Bantam19, since it made more sense to buy them for the adults in our party.  So I am now the proud owner of a season pass to Great America!  I figure we'll go four times this summer, on the four weeks that you can "bring a friend for free."  One of them was this week, so we went again today, just B19, myself, Chicklet7 and B5.  Next time, in August, B15 will come with us and bring B11 for free; in the meantime, B15 has gotten his money's worth, and then some, out of the pass he bought for himself a month ago, along with all his best friends.  Living only 25 minutes away is pretty nice!

But the memory I wanted to capture was when I told the younger two that we were going to Great America, and Chicklet excitedly said, "I can't wait to go on the American Eagle!"  I responded, "Oh, no, honey, that's the one that you were so scared on last time."  (She had cried and screamed the whole way.)  "I know!" she replied, eyes sparkling.

(Must be her aggressive streak.  And when she rode it this year, she was fine.  She loved it!)

This morning, we drove to a nearby church for Vacation Bible School, and B5 was a little hesitant going in to the unfamiliar building.  "Will you stay there?" he asked, concern registering in his young voice.  "Yes, I'll stay for a few minutes," I said.  I watched him find a seat among the large class of kindergarteners, near a little friend of his, then get up and form a line to head to the church sanctuary for the opening time.  I walked near him in the hall, then said, "Well, I think I'll go now."  Without looking at me, he said, "See ya, Mom" with as much unconcern as though he were just heading out to our back yard.  My baby is a big boy now!

Yesterday, for Father's Day, I spoke with my dad on the phone, but spent the afternoon/evening with Papa Rooster's family--his parents, brother, our sister-in-law and niece--at his brother's home on the north side of Chicago.  It was a picture-perfect afternoon in their lovely little back yard, which my sister-in-law has landscaped with love and a great eye, where Musician Brother grills the most succulent steaks.  We sat outside and listened to recordings of Dad, made in the 60's when he was in his thirties and in full voice, singing songs from popular musicals of the day.  Musician Brother danced with his mother, while Papa Rooster took pictures, and Bantam15 sat around with the adults and listened to the old stories, and it was a perfect day.

And today we bought our friend's 2002 Kia Optima.  Tomorrow the dealer will begin the needed repairs, and maybe on Wednesday, Blondechick will have herself a car!

Congratulations, Bantam19!

Look at that young man.  See that half-smile, the hands fingering his diploma?  He's pleased.  He's proud of himself.  He's filled with wonderment and barely-believing.

From the minute he entered the auditorium, one of nearly 500 in his class, I felt a lump in my throat.  I'm sure it's normal to feel emotional as a parent at a graduation--it's the end of an era, after all, and a launching into the unknown future--but what I felt was something different than I imagine most parents around me were experiencing.  I kept thinking back to his diagnosis of autism at age 4, when he was barely able to put words together into a sentence, when he couldn't answer a question or count or understand a childish joke.  

How far he has come!

If you had told me then that he would graduate from one of the largest high schools in Wisconsin along with all of the "normal" kids...well, I might not have believed you.  I might not like to be told how the book ended either:  The journey itself has been such an experience of faith, trust, and watching God work in our lives--more than we could ask or imagine!

We had over 50 guests at his open house, including all four grandparents.  (These are my parents, who were able to stay for the ceremony as well.)

And the story continues with the next exciting chapter:  Trinity College in the fall!  We got the news of his acceptance just three days before his graduation--perfect timing to share the news with family and friends at his open house.  Thank you to those who prayed! (Why did we choose Trinity?)

My heart feels at rest.  I am filled with joy and thankfulness!

B19, this is my prayer for you, from Ephesians 3:16-21:

I pray that out of God's glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. 

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

That's My Girl!

Back from Ancient China

Yes, I'm back...but too busy to upload pics from Mulan yet! Papa Rooster has been traveling and he's my main man for photos. I have a few on my camera but I've become somewhat camera-phobic about trying to upload them without PR or a teen at home to help me when things invariably go haywire.

Plus I've been focusing hard on my job this week to get ready for the end of this winter session of theater classes, we had a church meeting one night, B14 and BC17 both have research papers in progress AND I haven't been sleeping well.

But I do have some videos that Papa Rooster got ready for me to post a few weeks ago, so maybe it's a good time to start doling them out.

Here, for your viewing pleasure, is Bantam11's one-minute audition number, "Friend Like Me" from Aladdin. I promise you: You will be entertained!

In Which B13 Pays Mom a Compliment

Awww, I just found the scrap of paper where I wrote this one down....

Back during Schoolhouse Rock, Bantam13 and Blondechick16 went home with some friends on the break between the daytime and the evening show. Later on, the mom told me that while they were at her house, the talk had turned to schools and homeschooling. She had asked B13:

"So if she [Blondechick16] is in public school, how come you are homeschooled?"

He was quick with his reply: "Because I have an amazing mom!"

(She thought I would be touched and encouraged, which I was!)

I told B13 that I heard about what he said and appreciated it. He said, "But did you hear what I said after that?"

He obviously thought that I had missed his best line.

"No, what?"

"I said, 'Yeah, me and my mom, we go waaaay back.' "

Bantam3 Becomes...

Bantam4!

We can’t believe it. How quickly that three-year-old year went by!!! Three isn’t exactly my favorite age—I remember in several cases wondering why people always talked about the terrible twos, when it seemed like three was so much worse—but in Bantam4’s case, three has come and gone (sniff) as nice as you please!

B4 is such a fun mix of physical, rough-and-tumble “all boy” with gentle, sweet, comical charm. He may greet his friends with a bear hug that takes them both to the ground, but in many ways he is the most winsomely compliant male toddler we have raised! The first thing I heard, on the morning of his birthday, was the birthday boy’s voice raised in a song of his own creation—a happily frequent utterance.

For his birthday (yesterday), he received: a Spiderman coloring book (from the dollar store), a Batman t-shirt (from Goodwill), Batman socks (from the dollar aisle at Target), a Disney polo shirt adorned with likenesses of Lightning McQueen and ‘Mater (from Goodwill), a “Cars” toothbrush/ holder/cup gift set (50% off after Christmas) and then the one gift I paid full price for—a baby doll.

Here’s why. Ever since Chicklet received her special doll for Christmas, she has been such a good mommy that, following her example, B3 re-adopted one of her old dolls. Under his tender loving care previously, it had lost both arms and all its clothes except for its pants. With renewed devotion, he’s resumed caring for it recently.

Last week, he was distressed because Mom found some old doll clothes that fit Chicklet’s doll, but nothing that would fit his pathetic little armless doll. In a moment of compassion, I looked deep into his little boy eyes, and said, “Honey, would you like a new doll?”

“Yes,” he sniffed. And I headed out to Walmart that afternoon.

I found a similar doll, dressed in blue clothing and accompanied by a turtle, which delighted our new 4-year-old. He christened him "Joe."

Like I said--what a mixture of boyish roughness and sweet tenderness our little Bantam4 is!!

(I know, I know...pictures are in order! We have another birthday and multiple rehearsals and appointments this week, but we'll see what we can do.)

Bantam13 Learns a Dance

Blogging about one's teenagers can be a little tricky. When I met up with Megan and Summer recently, I confided about difficulties we've had with one of our teenagers, and Megan said, "Oh, from your blog, you'd never guess!" For the record and in the interests of FULL disclosure, let me state that no member of our family is as one-sidedly positive as they may appear in this blog. (Including me!)

Often I wish I could post about the latest challenge we're having with one of our kids, but my policy is to focus on the positive and not say anything about a family member that they wouldn't approve. So--many of those posts go completely unwritten. Some things I hope to share eventually, after we're through this phase or that, and time has lent objectivity.

But I have permission to tell this recent one. It has a happy and victorious resolution, and is a big praise to God as well as Bantam13!

You may remember that he landed a speaking part in his Advanced Drama class's upcoming production of Thornton Wilder's The Matchmaker. Then he also got a featured part as a swing dancer in the Schoolhouse Rock musical, besides all the large group numbers he's in.

Well, you'd think he'd be eager to learn his parts and do well. But B13 has been in an ambivalent phase about theater, and when it comes right down to it, he'd rather practice guitar or skateboarding tricks than memorize lines or practice dance moves, especially when he has a LOT of lines and the dance is HARD--for him, anyway. His first reaction is to give up: It's too hard. He can't do it. He doesn't want to do it. They should get somebody else. He wants to quit.

Why did we make him do theater anyway? he complains. We did make him audition for this show; his siblings were doing it, so...in for a penny, in for a pound, as far as our time and money go. And his reasons for not auditioning were all so bad. His voice had changed, and he swore he couldn't sing any more. He was sure he wouldn't make any friends in the new chapter of our theater group. He didn't think it was cool to do theater. ("Are you kidding?" another mom commented on that, "The theater guys are the smartest boys in town. What other activity has so many girls to every guy?") He didn't think he had time, with homeschooling. (Hah.)

Bottom line is, he had only fear-based objections. I told him that as far as homeschooling was concerned, doing a show was signing him up for speech, music, and PE, besides acting and dancing. Oh yeah, and learning all the Schoolhouse Rock lyrics? Totally educational--duh! Plus he says he wants to be in a band someday and maybe sing as well as play guitar? So let's start figuring out how that man-voice works!

Still, he complained every day about practicing for the audition. Then it began to sink in that he could either practice and do a decent job, or not practice and really embarrass himself. His attitude changed overnight, when he decided to just buckle down and do it. And the results of his efforts were apparent even to himself. His audition was great!

So then he got these parts...and after his initial pleasure, he started complaining about the work required for them, especially over the holidays, when he wanted to be totally on vacation. So we fussed about that for a good bit of the break, until he finally started working on his lines for Act One and discovered that actually, he memorizes pretty easily. Soon he had them all nearly down, including his three-page soliloquy in Act Three, and he was feeling a little better.

But that dance. That swing dance. The one he just can't remember. Can't learn. Can't practice without his partner. Why did they ever think he could do it? They should get someone else. There's just no way he can learn it.

Finally, I had started composing an email to his swing dance partner's mother to see if his partner could get together with him outside of rehearsal, when he appeared at my elbow. "All right, Mom, I know what I need to do now. I need to get together with [another boy in the same number] after class tomorrow and take the lyrics with me, double-spaced, so that there's room for me to write my own notes to remember the steps, so I can practice on my own."

I was thrilled! His idea was even better than my plan. He went home with the other boy and took notes on the steps; he came home and really practiced, and at the next rehearsal, he knew the dance. Both his partner and the director were totally delighted.

He is so pleased, himself. "It's really fun, once you know it," he told me. "And now that I know those steps, I can always do them at other places, like weddings." He also said, "I prayed every time the music started, and I really felt God helping me." And more than once: "Now I'm so glad I got that part!"

We are so proud of him! He has faced his fears, and three times, he has overcome his desire to give up when things are hard: practicing for the audition, memorizing all those lines, and learning this dance. The performances should be a piece of cake. For him, the huge character challenge was to make himself do the preliminary hard work.

And that, my friends, is probably the most important thing he's learned all year.

Sure Is a Good Thing...

Blondechick15 has had a rude awakening.

At school the other day, she discovered that she was the only one in her history class whose parents weren't planning to vote for Obama.

She also learned that "BC" on a timeline means not "Before Christ" but "Before Common Era." Everyone else in the class already knew that.

On a poster, as an example of "a firmly-held belief," her English teacher listed "karma."

On a persuasive essay assignment, she found herself the sole opponent of legalized abortion.

To her great surprise, she was the only one, in a small group that was brainstorming controversial topics, who thought that same-sex marriage was not okay.

I guess we're not in DuPage County anymore!

How did she respond to these situations? By standing her ground, in each case.

"It's a good thing I have a strong personality," she remarked.

(If our conversation hadn't been so serious, I'd have choked on my Dr. Pepper at that understatement!)

After she told me more details, I pointed out to her that God had prepared her with not only a strong temperament, but He had also planted the seeds of her convictions by her life experiences. For example, how many girls her age have been present at a birth, as she has witnessed, twice? She remembers my pregnancies and feeling the babies move and kick; she knows how much one can love a baby even before one can sense its presence physically. And she knows men and women who have been healed of their neuroses, who have married and had children and know the joy of a healthy family.

"Have you had any doubts?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Has it crossed your mind that maybe all those other kids are right and your parents are wrong?"

"No way!" she snorted, without hesitation.

"Really?" I queried.

"Mom, I just know that abortion is killing a human being, and same-sex marriage is not right. It's so obvious."

After a moment, she added, "And they know it too, deep down. They're just not willing to say it."

Thank you, Lord, for the hard-headed, "strong personality" you have given our daughter. May her faith, her convictions, and her perseverance be strengthened by adversity. May You be glorified by her witness. Preserve and protect her, in your love and by your great mercy, O Lord.

Bantam9's Fantasy Battle

Papa Rooster took these last weekend on our camping trip.

There is no one on the other end of this weapon--the whole battle took place in Bantam9's mind, and for no audience that he was aware of.







His feet are actually off the ground in the last one--click to enlarge!

Happy Birthday, Bantam17

Remember the family photo shoot last fall? Well, I'm going to share some of our selections in a series of posts describing the members of our family.

And since today happens to be Bantam17's birthday, I'll start with him!

First, some background on this remarkable young man. As our firstborn, we weren't sure what to think when, by age 3.5, it became clear that he had a significant speech delay. We had him evaluated by a specialist, who diagnosed him with Pervasive Developmental Disorder--Not Otherwise Specified, High Functioning. It's a diagnosis that was popular at the time, but it's too general to be helpful. We recently had him re-evaluated and we're told that, based on the fact that he had a speech delay, High-Functioning Autism is probably the more accurate label for him than Asperger's...but as this article explains, the three labels are interrelated.

From an early age, he showed unusually creative play skills, compared to the other kids in his developmental preschool class. He'd combine objects from different sets to set up a scenario, like a restaurant or a store, using some of the items in unusual ways to create a needed item like a cash register. As he got older, he created all kinds of playthings with boxes or old containers, duct tape and markers. And of course, he loved sets like Duplos and Legos—an interest that continues to this day, as you can see from his blog.

When he began to read, new worlds were opened to him—worlds in outerspace, Middle Earth and elsewhere…and the world of words. He loves learning new ones and trying them out in conversation. (“Want to venture off with me?” he asked a younger brother once.) He’s always been an excellent speller, and writing has always been a strength as well. Math is more of a struggle for him, but we are so thankful for his facility with language.

For someone with autism, Bantam17 is unusually high-functioning socially. He has always been able to draw kids of all ages into his play schemes, whether it was “restaurant” back in preschool, or “knights’ training camp” with neighborhood kids in the back yard, or AirSoft re-enactments with his high-school buddies. God has been so good to provide a few of those--one especially--and adult friends as well, who are genuinely interested in him. And he’s always been loving and responsive with his family, which is such a blessing.

After five years in public school, Bantam17 has been home this year, and it’s been nice having him around more. He’s so helpful with Chicklet5 and Bantam2.9, especially. Those three are the earliest risers, so on most mornings, he eats breakfast with them and cleans up after them, freeing me to get organized for my day. He also spends Friday nights and Saturday mornings babysitting them, while I take the three theater kids to rehearsals without having to worry whether Father Rooster is home or not. Bantam17 enjoys preparing for these weekends by going to the library and selecting an age-appropriate movie, which he watches with them. They all enjoy this time together.

Living in close proximity in the basement with Bantam12 and Bantam8, there are bound to be disagreements, but that’s been better since Bantama17 started taking Concerta this fall. And what always unites them is…Legos! He and Blondechick15 are learning to understand one another better since he’s been home too.

What are his future plans? You can read about them in this post on his blog. You'll see there are lots of possibilities!

So Happy Birthday to a young man who’s had many obstacles to overcome, but whose heart is true and upright and loving. You bless us all by being part of our family, and we are so proud of the young man you are becoming. Hold tight to God, as I know you will. Don’t be discouraged. God has a plan for you. Do your part, and trust Him with the rest.

We love you!

Say It With a Homemade Card

Tonight we had the "family birthday party" for me and my mother-in-law, whose birthday is 4 days before mine. My wonderful children blessed us both with homemade cards, a tradition on birthdays in our family.

As always, they were both touching and hilarious!

Dear Mother,
I love you. I hope you love your birthday and this card. Even though you yell at me I still think you're the best Mom ever!
~Bantam8

Dear MOM,
Thanks for being such a loving MOM. The reason why the word MOM is always capitalized is because you are awesome, MOM! Thanks for not putting me in school. I love you MOM. ~Bantam12
P.S. You are amazing and more.

Dear Mom,
Happy Birthday! Now you're 28 years older than me. Whoa. You're kinda old. :)

(When I pointed out that I will always be 28 years older than her, she blamed it on blondeness.)

I just want to say that whether you think otherwise or not, you are a wonderful mom. And a cool one...most of the time. :) I love sharing clothes, jewelry and makeup with you. It's so much fun to be able to share our stuff.

I'm so thankful that you listen to me when I ramble on about everything. It makes my life so much easier to know that I have a mom who'll listen and to know that I can trust you, and you can trust me.

I love that we're like best friends. We're closer than most mothers and daughters are. I know, we go through a lot of stupid fights but I know that you're only trying to take care of me. And I always realize in the end that, you're right.

Thanks for being here for me. I love you, Blondechick15

Dear Mom,
Happy Birthday!! It's great to have a mother who's always there to help. Sorry about the [handwritten] card. I didn't want to hop on the computer and get all artsy--I just wanted to keep it simple.

Here's the thing: It really IS great to have a mom such as you to be there to help me with my problems.... You are one of the greatest gifts God has given me as well as God giving His only begotten Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for my every sin. Thank you for helping me with everything. Happy Birthday, Mom, and thanks for helping me understand what God wants me to do.
~Bantam16

Two Minds

(I should be writing my Advent Carnival post--don't forget to post yours and email the URL to me by noon tomorrow! But this one was ready to go....)

Papa Rooster captured this exchange a few days ago:

Chicklet5 said the most remarkable things to me a few minutes ago. I was in bed, reading my book on simplicity by Paula Huston, and she was next to me, making drawings to give to everyone in the family. It was her rest time. I guess it was mine, too.

She said to me, "Dad, I learned something: there's [mom's full name], [brother's full name], [other brother's full name], Grandma and Grandpa [same last name], and [her own full name]... every one of them are the same: [our last name]. The little boy in my mind didn't realize that. "

Chicklet then smiled playfully and explained, "I have two minds: one's a little boy and one's a little girl." I think I must have looked amazed, so she smiled again and continued, "They both live in my body. AND, God lives in my body, too."

I asked her where the little boy lived. She said, "He lives in my head." And the little girl? "She lives in my heart." And God? She looked a little puzzled and said, "He lives everywhere in my body. The boy's in my head, the girl's in my heart, and God's everywhere in my body." It was all very sensible to her.

She then asked me, "Do you have that, too, Daddy?... Two minds? A boy and a girl?"

I considered the question for a while, thought about Mary and John the Baptist, thought about the poetic and discursive ways of knowing--all of this in a flashing recollection of all these years of thinking about how we know and how we connect to God, and said, "Yeah, I guess it's the same for me--a boy in my head and a girl in my heart and God everywhere."

It was an amazing bit of wisdom, completely untutored, very unscientific, but very true and wholesome: the wisdom of ages in a moment from the mouth of a little girl.

Now, this is me, Mama Hen, with a few related thoughts:

One of the most mind-opening discoveries of my adult life has been the understanding that there are two ways we know things. Many languages actually have different words for the verb "to know," but even though I took two years and two semesters of French, I never really understood the difference between savoir (knowledge of facts) and connaitre (knowledge by relationship).

I grew up and went through college believing primarily in knowledge that could be proved logically and scientifically. Even belief in God, I thought, could be argued rationally; there was the teleological argument, the ontological argument, Pascal's wager...I learned them all.

It wasn't until I took a course at my church, called "Women in the Kingdom" (which was really about the relational way of knowing), that I grasped this truth for the first time. The instructor had us pair off and describe someone we knew well to another person who didn't know the person we described. When we regrouped as a class, it became apparent that every one of us had ended our description with the realization that, "You'd just have to meet him/her to see what I mean."

I suddenly understood that there are some things you know that you "just know," that can't be proved or articulated completely, but they are no less valid. It was as if I needed intellectual permission to trust in this kind of knowledge. But now I realized for the first time that this was the way to know God!

My faith had always been a heartfelt head trip before. In worship, I used to sing the words, assenting to every one in my mind--but suddenly, as I let my feelings and my faith come forward in praise, I began to cry through every song. I felt things I'd never felt before, allowed emotions that had been bottled up for years to spill out, in God's presence.

He knew me, knew it all. I didn't have to explain it or put it into words for Him to know and forgive it all, pour His love into me, and receive the praise of my heart, with or without any words. It was a breakthrough in my ability to worship in freedom, offering Him the praise of my mind and heart--my whole self--and receiving His wordless love and direction. (Ironically, it was understanding that no words were needed between us that opened my mind to be able to receive His words and images.)

Classically, the way of factual knowledge and discursive learning is described as masculine; the intuitive, poetic and emotional ways of knowing by relationship are described as feminine, just as in Proverbs, Wisdom is personified as a woman. Wisdom is knowing the right thing to do, instantly--not by listing pros and cons, calculating the cost, and coming to a rational conclusion.

The early Church hints at these two kinds of knowing with John the Baptist, who prepared the way for the Lord with a bias for action and for discourse, and with Mary, who prepared herself by simply saying yes: "Be it done to me as you have said."

Two minds: a boy in my head and a girl in my heart. And God everywhere.

Maybe she'll be a Christian philosopher.

Blondechick Turns 15

Once every 6 or 8 years, my daughter's birthday falls on Thanksgiving, as it did yesterday, giving me extra reason to be thankful!

Daughter, I am so proud of the young woman you are becoming. Outwardly beautiful, you are developing an inward loveliness as well. I love to see your helpfulness with your siblings, your generosity toward your friends, your honesty with me and your dad, and your desire to know God better and to be a godly example to your friends. Your heart truly is full of good things, and I love to see them spilling out in blessing of others.

I am so thankful today to have a daughter who is also a friend. As you get older, I enjoy talking with you more and more. It's fun to shop, cook, clean, laugh and pray with you. You are like a second mommy to your youngest brother and sister, and I am proud and glad that you are such a good one! You are becoming more and more of a friend to your brothers, and that's neat to see, too.

Thank you, Lord, for this lovely daughter who enriches our lives so much. May she always love and serve You with gladness and singleness of heart!

Sunday Reading

For a little light Sunday reading, may I recommend my daughter Blondechick14's recent post about a funny incident that happened during one of the performances of Charlotte's Web?

One of the joys of live theater, in my opinion, is actors having to dealing with the unexpected in front of an audience. The audience itself has to make a decision: Do we laugh? Pretend we didn't notice? In this case, the audience chose to be highly entertained by Blondechick's attack of the giggles!

(She was so afraid that the director would be upset at her lapse in professionalism; but when she saw her after the show, the director burst out laughing. She said she and the assistant director had laughed so hard during this incident that they were having trouble staying in their seats!)

And for a real heartwarmer, check out this post by Bantam16 called "A Rare, Happy Moment in Life." I am thankful that my children enjoy each other so much, and this is a really special post by one for whom relationships are difficult.

Goslings Just Wanna Have Fu-un

We got some great stills from our high-definition video recording of a Charlotte's Web dress rehearsal. And since you go frame-by-frame to make your selections, we noticed things that otherwise went by rather quickly...









That's Bantam8. The one with the quirks, like the ability to create battle scenes between two rocks--and going without clothes, year-round. (Well, he wears shorts.) He's a total, uninhibited goofball.

And just for grins, here's a 30-second video he and the other Gosling (in yellow) made in the boys' dressing room while they had a few scenes to kill. It's called "The Death of Charlie the Gosling," and it's so funny my boys had to figure out how to post it on Youtube. There is just something intrinsically comical about an evil duck in a funny costume and orange makeup!

Charlotte's Web Review

What a looooonnnnng week we've had! In the past nine days, the kids have had five rehearsals and seven performances of the musical Charlotte's Web. I've been there too, doing makeup. (Thank you, dear husband and dear friend Heather, for watching my little ones!!) Bantam16 has been able to do backstage for every show, since he's homeschooled this year. It's been an exhausting week, but so gratifying to do together!

My only disappointment is that I was unable to take pictures at the dress rehearsals, since I was so busy working with my team on makeup designs for the animal characters in the show. And they've changed the policy for public performances from "no flash photography" to "no photography." I did take a few long shots at a school day performance that turned out okay, but we'll see what we get from stills from a high-definition video recorder. Hope to post something soon!

In the meantime, I'll do my best with word pictures, and please forgive a proud mama who wants to record and remember many wonderful moments....

Everyone--not just friends, but total strangers and our Chicago area executive theater director--said Blondechick14 was a perfect Charlotte. So many people commented on her lovely singing voice, and her beautifully smooth and melodious speaking voice; several people made favorable comparisons to Debbie Reynolds and Julie Roberts, who have been the voice of Charlotte in the Charlotte's Web movies. One person couldn't believe she is only 14--her speaking voice and stage presence seemed so much more mature and maternal. Another friend, who knows her well, remarked that it was quite an acting job for someone with as lively a personality as Blondechick to play such a mellow role so convincingly.

Everyone also praised her acting--how much she did with her face and arms--given that she's perched up on a rooftop for the entire show. She spoke with a more animated voice and lifted her six arms more frequently in the barnyard scenes in the first act; in the second act, at the county fair, Charlotte is "slowing up...feeling her age," so she became less and less lively. And every show, during her death scene, there were sniffles all over the theater.

One of my favorite compliments came from a mom with a 9-year-old daughter in the show. Her two younger daughters are so in love with Blondechick; they think she is sooooo beautiful with all her glitter and big made-up eyes, and they're always drawing pictures for her and waving shyly at her. "Your daughter always smiles at them, and talks to them, and treats them so kindly. She's just as sweet as she can be. What a wonderful role model she is to the younger kids!"

A funny moment: They were having trouble with a scene change taking too long, and they needed Blondechick off the barn QUICK so they could move it. It was taking her too long to descend all those stairs in the dark with an awkward costume. So the director, a former cheerleader, taught Blondechick how to "trust fall" backwards off the barn into a chair of arms of two strong men. Even though it's in the dark, you can see her "fall" if you're on that side and looking for it, and you should have seen Papa Rooster's face the first time he saw her go! She said it was scary the first few times, but now she thinks it's fun. (The people in the front row on that side always gasp, she says!)

Everyone loves the Goslings, and Bantam8, who got such kudos for being the most energetic marcher as a Cadet in Seussical, now stands out as the most animated Gosling as well, though the others are taking a leaf from his book. They're all so cute at pretending to talk and play and chase flies and keep busy while other dialogue is happening onstage. And in the dances, they get to be in the front row and shake their tails at the audience! Bantam8 loves that part.

Bantam12 has a small part with just a few lines, but he's doing great and looking handsome as Henry Fussy, Fern's boyfriend. And speaking of Fern, our good friend from church who plays her is so darling, with such a sweet voice and presence. All the leads are so strong in this show, with good voices and musicality, and great acting. Wilbur the pig is played by an amazing little girl (whose mom is co-chairing makeup with me); no one can believe that a 9-year-old can sing and act like she can!

And everyone thinks the makeup is great. I am so relieved and glad. I do Charlotte's and Templeton's, and they get lots of compliments each show, they tell me. This has been the most challenging makeup show we've ever done, for me personally, since I had none of my usual team on my committee. But my new team is awesome! I hope to take pictures of each Animal in costume under stage lights next weekend.

On the way home from the Saturday night performance, I realized I was getting a sore throat and sore joints. Turns out Blondechick has the same thing. I am so grateful that we all made it through the weekend without illness, as there was a fever going around among the cast. Our friend "Fern" missed the final two dress rehearsals because of illness, and the whole cast and many others were praying their hearts out for Thursday morning's show. Our theater group never casts understudies, and in many, many years, they've never once had a lead not be able to go on. It looked like this might be the first time...but then her 103 degree fever broke on Wednesday night, and though she still had a slight temperature, she was able to perform Thursday morning. And you couldn't even tell that she'd missed two important rehearsals! (Thank you, Lord!)

Blondechick and I don't have a fever, but our heads feel pretty crummy. We have four more performances to go, beginning Thursday. I'm hopeful that she'll be just fine by then--but maybe I better email our area coordinator and get the cast praying. (And we'd welcome your prayers as well.)

We're all looking forward to next weekend...and even beginning to think of good auditions for the next show: Godspell! (Since our house won't be going back on the market till January, and it's in February, it looks like we'll be here for it.)

Happy Birthday, Chicklet 5!

Back when I had only one child, I remember feeling sorry for a fifth child that was born to a family in our church. I thought there could be no baby more incredible than your firstborn--surely the "specialness" of the experience was at its height then, slipping gradually into the realm of "been there, done that."

















But I've found, with the births of six children, that the opposite is true! I think I've appreciated each baby more, precisely because the experience is not all new--it's so wonderfully, achingly familiar. It's like returning to a vacation spot or a favorite work of art. You fall in love with it the first time, but repeat visits are richer because your love for it is rekindled and burned more deeply into your being each time. And you notice things beyond your first impressions. Having a daughter after several sons, I've noticed many more ways that a little girl's beauty and feminine qualities are so different from a boy's--more than I noticed with my first daughter, when I'd just had one of each.

Ten years separate my two girls. I adore the two boys that arrived in that interim, but I was in seventh heaven when this little girl emerged, wet and slippery, onto our bed. (It was my only home birth.) It seemed she was a fountain of femininity--and I've been drinking her in for the last five years. Her physical beauty takes my breath away sometimes--the sun glinting in her gossamer hair, the petal-soft cheeks, the delicate bone structure so different from my boys', the shapeliness of her legs, her arms, her little bum. Her verbal abilities and higher pitched voice are so remarkably expressive, whether she's playacting with her toys, telling on her brothers or just giggling! Her feminine temperament delights me too, as she mothers her doll and her little brother, as she wheedles her older siblings to play a game, as she delights girlishly in a swirly skirt or sequined "princess dress." She reminds me to live in the present moment.

My mother once looked up from a laughing Chicklet, who was especially charming just then, and said to me, "I hope your life is not so busy that you're missing this, hon."

I'm not, Mom. I'm not.

***

Thank you, Lord, for this marvelous gift You've entrusted us with for these five years--I pray that You will loan her to us for many more. Grant us the wisdom, the love and the obedience we need to raise her and her siblings. May they always be a cause for rejoicing, in our hearts and in Yours!

















(From the archives--because my feelings haven't changed since she turned four. She still melts my heart daily with her sweetness and that SMILE. Go ahead and click on that last picture for a good look at it--and to see a few more family members in the background!)

The middle photo was taken by my older daughter holding the camera at arm's length. That's my niece, their cousin, in the last two pictures.)