Monday, December 04, 2006

Head, Speak to Heart, Will You?

Both Papa Rooster and I are surprised at how SAD we feel.

You want to give your children good gifts. You want opportunities and growing experiences for them. And we're not sure how many other chances they'll get...as we continue to seek the Lord's will about a possible move in the near? future.

So I find myself having to remind myself of the very things I've been telling my children. My head knows that God has a plan, that He works all things together for good, that He will use this experience to teach every single cast member things they need to learn, if they are submitted to Him. My head knows that if we move away, God will provide other opportunities and experiences for my children. But my heart is having trouble keeping up. Will God really provide for us there as He has here?

It's not just about my children, either. It's about leaving my own network of friends and support: the homeschooling friend that swaps kids with me on Fridays, my writing class, my church friends, and my friends from the theater group, who are also, many of them, my homeschooling support group.

Will God really provide for us? We're considering starting a church--and actually, more than a church--a faith community. Will people come? Will it be able to support us financially (eventually)?

It almost seemed like a sign, that if Blondechick14 had gotten this role and Bantam7 had gotten a part in the show--because it might be their last opportunity--then I would know that it was God 's way of saying, "See, I have a plan; I'm giving them this experience before you move, and I'll provide there like I have for you here."

We've been walking in a well-watered garden for many years, and now we may have a desert awaiting us. So I'm anxious, and sad----for Blondechick14, especially. Bantam7 doesn't know what he's missing, and he really likes ushering. But this would have been a perfect role for Blondechick (in terms of typecasting, which is an unavoidable reality in children's theater), and I know she would have learned so much and done so well.

So.

Methinks we've had plenty of drama over the last week, and it's time to get back in a homeschooling groove and make up some of those lost hours! We're a day or two behind in most subjects, and I have a writing class to teach this afternoon.

But my heart isn't quite in it today.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I understand and I will pray for and your family.

Love,
Donna

Islandsparrow said...

I'm sorry for the disappointment - I find that it's harder to watch our children experience those things than to experience them ourselves. Praying for you.

Amy said...

Somedays, I think God would be a lot easier to deal with if He'd just stick to skywriting.

For my own reasons, I hope you don't move...but I also know God does what He does when He does it for His own reasons--and we don't always understand them.

We'll be praying that your heart starts listening better to what your head knows already. I know that can be hard.

Anonymous said...

Hmm... difficult stuff. I think the Christian life is one of the most difficult lifestyles to live. Sometimes I just long for it all to be over. Sometimes...