Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Can You Say "Blonde"?

You've all heard of "dumb blonde" jokes, right? Blondechick hears a lot of them, as you can imagine.

But in reality, the "blondest" member of our family is ... Bantam13! We love to tease him about it.

One of the early indications that he might be a little bit blonde was a few years ago, when his grandpa mentioned that he had been in the Army Reserves after college. "You were in the Army?" he asked, eyes wide. "Were you killed?"

[imagine short drum solo ending in cymbal crash]

Last winter, when Aunt Summer was visiting, he was dressed up in his snowsuit and coat, ready to go outside in the snow. Patting his his layers, he commented to Summer, “I’m all fat! Hey, [Bantam9], you get fat too, so we can go outside in the snow.”

B9, who was putting on his coat, started removing it as he headed for the kitchen. “Okay, I gotta go eat a hamburger then,” he joked.

B13 responded, “Hey, dude, we don’t have time to eat. We gotta go now, before it gets dark!”

[cymbal crash]

Another time, he asked Grandpa to draw a line on the wall for his height, where we always do. The last time we had measured him, we had drawn a line at my height as well, since he was getting so close—about a quarter inch less. The new line showed him about a quarter inch taller than me!

“Hey, buddy, you passed me up!” I exclaimed.

“Well, how tall are you?”

“The line’s right there,” I pointed.

“Yeah, but how tall are you now?”

[da-dump-crash]

On Easter Sunday, relaxing at our home after the big meal, his other grandparents--Papa R's parents--were joking with Chicklet about "all their other children" besides the two she knew of: her dad and her uncle. "Oh, yes, there's Bertram, and Chauncey, and Oswald--oh, and Edwina and her family, and Reginald and Rupert....you know, we never get to see any of them on holidays, because we always spend them with your family and Uncle ___'s family." Chicklet5 was confused and a bit suspicious (especially with Mom laughing and shaking her head "no"), but Bantam13, who walked in just at that moment, asked them, "Wait--you have other children?"

[dum--dee-dum-dum--crash]

Recently Blondechick told him of a possible career she was considering. He responded, "You want to be a cosmetologist? I'm not sure you're smart enough to be a cosmetologist. Wait--what is that again?"

[da-dump-crash]

On the phone with his best friend from Illinois...

Caroline: I miss [Bantam9].
Bantam13: Yeah, me too.

[da-dump-crash]

B13: "Mom, what does gullible mean?"

Me, laughing: “Why? Did someone tell you you’re gullible?”

B13, surprised: “Yeah.... How’d you know?”

[dum-dee-dum--boom]

Let me hasten to add that this young man, who is brighter than he sounds [ahem], is at a sensitive age, and though he is able to laugh at himself and doesn't mind me posting this--please, no teasing from outside our immediate family!

He is such a sweetheart--truly one "in whom there is no guile."

(And for the record, he says witty, clever things all the time. We just don't write them down!)

1 comment:

Jenny in Ca said...

He gets all sympathy here.

In high school, a friend asked me (twice no less) "Did you know that the word gullible is not in the dictionary" , to which I replied, shocked and wide-eyed, "really?"!