Solitude

Time for a few moments of solitude.

Here at Panera...while my kids are at theater classes...and the oldest is at home with the youngest...even with the jazz muzak playing and conversations going on all around me...I can be alone with the Lord and my thoughts.

October is nearly over, and it didn't slow down as much as I thought it would. But I did get one wonderful morning of solitude and silence, in my own home, a couple of Sundays ago. Bantam3 was sick, so I stayed home with him, and he slept for most of the morning.

I sat out on my back porch, wrapped up in a blanket, and listened to the birds in the newly-turning leaves, admiring their changes. I prayed. I read Scripture. I listened. I read a short book, Jim Cymbala's The Life God Blesses. I jotted down a few things from it that I wanted to remember. I stayed off the computer, to shut out its noise and demands. I puttered around. I listened some more.

I didn't really hear anything. Just got a sense that God wants to do a new thing in my life. That makes sense. He is a Creator; He is always making all things new. I think this is not an exterior thing, like the church plant or homeschooling or blogging, which all were at one time new things in my life, but something more interior. Something new He wants to teach me? Something He wants to renew, perhaps? I feel no need to strive for it; it will come in His timing.

I also felt an overwhelming sense of gratefulness--that in all the changes we've been through in the past year, He has guided our family ship into a safe and lovely harbor. We have a house that suits us perfectly, our little church plant is thriving and continues to grow, God has sent wonderful people into our lives to be friends and neighbors and classmates with, and with the beauty of Lake Michigan and this fall's brilliant colors, it seems He has given us more than we could have asked or imagined.

God, you are always good, always faithful, always providing, always speaking, always there--even when we are stressed, distracted, anxious, and tempest-tossed by worries and cares. Thank you, Lord, that you have brought our family into calmer waters. Help me, Lord, to become more faithful in my habits: to spend time with your words daily, to listen as well as speak, to keep priorities straight.

All seems so clear and unmuddled when I'm alone with you!