Sad News About Grandma

How to title this post?  The news is not just sad, it's terrible, awful, unbelievable...and yet I can't call it "bad," because in God's plan, all things work together for good.  And she sees herself as being exactly where God wants her.  This is all part of God's plan, she assured us repeatedly before her surgery, and she continues to hold firmly to that faith, when she can grip a thought long enough to share it.

Now we understand why it took such a long time to get the final pathology on her brain tumor.  They wanted to be sure, absolutely certain, that it was indeed the rare type that they feared it was--a Grade 4 oligoastrocytoma.  It's an aggressive and fast-growing cancer, and since they removed it, the latest MRI shows more tumors forming elsewhere in her brain.  They say she has six to twelve months left.

Now Grandma is a strong lady, a force to be reckoned with, and those are just numbers. If anyone is likely to defy those odds, it is she!  But still, those are the statistics.  They seem bleak.

At first they gave us the possibility of radiation and chemo to give her a few extra months, but her quality of life for her remaining time would be so diminished that it hardly seemed worth it.  Since the latest MRI, they don't even recommend the radiation any longer--it would be too destructive to too many areas of her brain.

We are numb and heartbroken, all at once.  We pray for her healing; we hope for a miracle. We ask that others join us in prayer for her complete healing.  But we also accept the probable future.  We are grateful for time to say goodbye.

In a way, we've already lost the Grandma we knew.  She was quick-witted and funny, and she liked an audience.  She could commandeer any conversation she joined, and she always had a story to tell, or something interesting she had read.  She always had a compliment for everyone she met, and she was full of encouraging words and advice for her grandchildren.  (And her daughters-in-law!  None of the mother-in-law jokes applied to my relationship with her; she was nothing but approving, encouraging and thankful for me.)  She was the life of the party, often bursting out into song, especially Broadway show tunes, along with my father-in-law.  (They met when they were both actors in NYC, on- and off-Broadway; my mother-in-law was in Camelot with Julie Andrews.)

Grandma performing at the Light of Christ talent show last November

Since her surgery, Grandma has really struggled.  Her attention span is less than a minute long, so it's hard to carry on a conversation with her.  She forgets what she's doing, mid-bite or mid-step, and has to be prompted what to do next.  Some days she's better than others, but mostly needs help with dressing, eating, going to the bathroom, and getting in and out of bed.  She's very tired and in a lot of pain.  Yet her eyes light up when she gets a visitor.  She recognizes everyone, she perks up and asks a question or comes out with a little joke.  She's a character with the staff at the sub-acute care center where she's staying right now.  For how much longer, we're not sure.  They have to be able to show that she's making progress with her therapy.

So that's one of our prayers right now--that she can make progress..We'd love for her to be able to stay there longer and continue the excellent care she's getting, but we also hope for progress for our own sakes--that we can have Grandma "back" for a little while longer.

Our other prayer request is for my father-in-law.  This is so hard on him, physically and emotionally.  He's so loving and dedicated to her.  He goes home to sleep, but he cares for her all day, and I can see the exhaustion alongside the love in his eyes.

It's hard for us to be so far away.  It's an hour and twenty minutes to go visit them--too far for us to be of any daily help to Grandpa.  But at least close enough that we can do it.  We'll go on Mother's Day, this Sunday, for sure.

Bless them, Lord, and keep them in your care.  Lord, in your mercy, hear the cries of our hearts.  Amen.