Wisdom or Foolishness?

...There are some people who say you should have no weakness at all--no vices. But if a man has no vices, he's in great danger of making virtues out of his vices, and there's a spectacle. We've all seen them: men who were monsters of philanthropy and women who were dragons of purity. We've seen people who told the truth, though the Heavens fell,--and the Heavens fell. No, no, nurse one vice in your bosom. Give it the attention it deserves and let your virtues spring up modestly around it. Then you'll have the miser who's no liar, and the drunkard who's the benefactor of a whole city.

Well, after I'd had that weakness of stealing for awhile, I found another: I took to whiskey--whiskey took to me. And then I discovered an important rule that I'm going to pass on to you: Never support two weaknesses at the same time. It's your combination sinners--your lecherous liars and your miserly drunkards--who dishonor the vices and bring them into bad repute. So now you see why I want to get rid of this money: I want to keep my mind free to give to whiskey the credit it deserves. And my last word to you, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, is this: one vice at a time.

~from Malachi Stack's soliloquy in Thornton Wilder's The Matchmaker


...Which will be performed by Bantam13's Advanced Drama class, tonight!

I'm pretty sure that with just a few prompts, I could get through the whole soliloquy myself--we've worked so hard on his lines. I am proud to say that he has them all down cold! We are looking forward to enjoying the play tonight.

Here are a couple more of my favorite exchanges. Malachi Stack, newly employed by Horace Vandergelder, is accompanying him to a restaurant.

Vandergelder (to Waiter): There'll be two ladies and myself.
Malachi: It's a bad combination, Mr. Vandergelder. You'll regret it.
Vandergelder: And I want a chicken.
Malachi: A chicken! You'll regret it.

Later...
Cabman: Who's your friend?
Malachi: That's not a friend. That's an employer I'm trying out for a few days.

What a fun part, eh?