Further Adventures of the Aging Tooth Fairy

I have written before (here, here and here) of the misadventures of our guardian Tooth Fairy.  All our children understand that she has chronic issues with lateness and is directionally-challenged, prone to getting lost.  She is aging, and appreciates reminder notes and sometimes a map.  It takes her many nights to find the right house and the right child. 

Bantam5 just lost his first tooth, and so we have just begun a new round of visits from our poor, witless Tooth Fairy.  The night he lost it, we put it in an envelope with his name and the date on it.  "Draw a map," Chicklet7 advised.  We didn't get around to it, and the next morning, B4 reported no money under the pillow.  "Write a note!" Mom insisted, but no one did.

A few days later, Mom discovered the envelope on her desk.  "No wonder the Tooth Fairy hasn't come!" she exclaimed.  "You have to put the tooth under your pillow, B5.  That way she can take the tooth and leave the money for you.  Still, better write her a note."  Chicklet scrawled a message.

That night, Mom and Dad went to bed before Chicklet and B5 were soundly asleep.  Before she slipped into bed, Mom laid out a stack of coins and wrote a note to early-rising Dad:  "Slip these under B5's pillow in the morning."  The next morning they were gone.  Tooth Fairy mission accomplished!  And in good time, too--for once.

Days went by, and no one mentioned the Tooth Fairy.  Then one morning Chicklet and B5 were playing with coins.

"Oh, did the Tooth Fairy finally come?"  Mom asked brightly.

"No, not yet," they responded.

"But where did you get the money?" Mom asked, frowning.

"Oh, it's my money," Chicklet said.  "I found it again.  I'm sharing it with B5."

"But are you sure the Tooth Fairy didn't come?  Dad and I thought we saw her the other night. We weren't certain, you know, but..." 

"Nope, she didn't come."

"Really?  You're sure?"

"Yes, Mom, we're positive."  Chicklet got up and started toward her room.  "Come on, I'll show you."

B5 and I followed her to their bedroom.  She reached her hand in under B5's pillow and pulled out the envelope.  "See?  She didn't take the tooth yet."

Dad, when he heard that the Tooth Fairy still hadn't come, could only stare in disbelief.  Then he began to snicker.  Shaking helplessly with laughter, he pronounced, "Stupid Tooth Fairy!"

C'mon, Tooth Fairy.  Git 'er done!