B21 Update

Isn't this a great picture of Bantam21?

It was taken at the Easter Vigil, during the passing of the Peace.  His smile here looks so happy and un-self-conscious.  (It's hard to get a good picture of him when he knows you are taking it.)  His face looks thinned out, from the weight he's lost--his jawline reminds me of his father's.  His hairline is already receding--another way he takes after his dad--but from this angle, it's not that noticeable.  He looks alive, intelligent, happy.  I really wish for more situations that pull him out of his shell like this.

One great development in his life is that he's got a new friend.  There is another boy close to his age at our church, who just graduated from high school in December.  He has special needs too, and lives nearby, and he and B21 have discovered a common interest in video games and sci fi.  He volunteers at a pet shelter, but on Thursdays, he's home all day, so we take B21 over there, since he's got a PS3.  They play games all day, and B21 likes to stay for dinner with him and his mom and brother.  I think the smaller number at the dinner table is good for B21, and he now looks forward to Thursdays as the high point of his week.

The caseworker at the DVR is still working on finding a job for B21, more than just an entry-level Walmart-type job, something that fits his abilities and strengths.  I pray for a work environment that brings out the young man in this photo--with work that engages him, and where there are good folks that he'll enjoy working with, and who will enjoy working with him.  Pray for her!

In the meantime, I am grateful for B21's help at home.  A number of months ago, we asked him to pitch in with more household chores than he had previously been doing--since he's living at home rent-free, not working, and has more time than the rest of us.  So now he's the man in charge of keeping the kitchen cleaned up after meals--no small task.  His other regular chores include bringing in groceries and putting them away, vacuuming every Saturday, putting out the trash/recycling bins, and cleaning the boys' bathroom.  He wasn't thrilled about it at first, but now that it's become routine, I can count on him to do all these jobs without complaint and often without reminders. What a blessing!

He has also made daily exercise a part of his routine. Combined with healthy eating, that's how he lost the 50 pounds he put on in college.  The 40+ that he put on in junior high/high school aren't coming off as quickly, but he's sticking to his routine and trying to increase his activity level.  Usually, if it's nice outside, he walks for three miles and bikes for 6-9 miles.  If it's cold or windy, he jogs on the treadmill for 4-5 miles, with breaks.  Lately he's been pushing his speed up to a faster pace and is actually breaking a sweat on his runs now.  He says it feels good!

I still wonder about him taking more college classes, especially to learn certain computer software, but we've wanted to keep his schedule free to be able to take a job, and there are the transportation difficulties.  He does have a license, but he's not driving; it confuses him to drive to different destinations all the time.  Our plan is to teach him the route to work and back, when he gets a job, and I suppose we could do that with school too.  But it ties up a car, it costs money, it's been difficult to choose the right classes, and we want him to be available to take a job when one is found, to start paying back the student loans he already has--which have been deferred, fortunately, until he gets a job.  In the meantime, he's gradually working his way through tutorials to learn new things, but he likes his own computer projects and routines more; he's a big contributor of images to Halopedia and other sci-fi websites.

I know friends and family--and even readers who've never met B21--have prayed for him over the years, and we are so thankful.  Overall, he is well and content, although he would love to have a job and eventually his own apartment.  But for now, it's nice having him around!

News Bits

Speaking of B21,whose birthday was on Saturday--this young man has lost 50 pounds since last May!  It's the 50 pounds he put on while he was away at a college last year. Since he's been home, we've been helping make sure that he exercises daily, either biking (10 miles) when the weather is nice, or run-walking on the treadmill (5 miles) when it's been cold.  He's also eating a minimum quantity of food--eggs and rice cereal for breakfast, an apple or a banana for lunch, and a quesadilla around 4 to hold him till dinner.  No seconds, no dessert, and lots of praise from his family as we've seen the pound drop off, slowly but surely.  Best of all, he seems to have his secret compulsive snacking under control, which should help him keep it off.

He just hit a milestone.  He now weighs just under 200, which is less than his college-entry weight of 202ish.  We have promised him an Xbox 360 if he gets down to 160.  Without a job, he has little to no spending money, so he's very motivated to earn his reward this way!  I guess it's the silver lining to his unemployment situation.

Things are moving slowly with the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation.  He has a caseworker there who is working on finding him a job, but it's a slow process. He had an interview at an area hospital for a housekeeping position, thanks to a friend who referred him, but he heard back from them recently that they are "pursuing other candidates," which was disappointing.   Thank you for your prayers for him!

In educational news, B12 and I visited the public middle school on Friday and liked what we saw.  He shadowed a friend for four hours, and he knew what was going on in each class, and he felt good about the teachers and the kids. He's happy about the idea of trying it for the rest of this year.

I still feel ambivalent about sending him there, but we had another rough week in virtual school, when all final tests and projects were due, and it seemed like further confirmation that he needs a change.  When I pray about what he needs, I keep seeing a classroom, and as I shared before, it seems this is the classroom God is leading us toward, for now.  He wouldn't start until next Monday, so I don't feel rushed to submit the paperwork, but on the other hand, the virtual school's new semester starts tomorrow, so that's a decision right there, if he doesn't begin.

On the church front, we had a Holy Week planning meeting on Saturday.  Woo hooooo!  This year, I am going to have a partner to help plan and execute the readings for the week, especially the Passion reading on Palm Sunday, and the readings at Easter Vigil.  I am so thankful for the energy and creativity of JT, a percussionist, artist, sound tech and Easter Vigil coordinator extraordinaire, who moved up here from our old church.  We just had a house blessing service in their new home (although it was months ago that they arrived--but what better season for a house blessing than Epiphany?).  We just installed his wife, LT, on our vestry, and we are sooooo grateful for them!  

Also, something is percolating about a youth group for our middle schoolers who are, like dominoes, all about to begin turning 13.  The vision and the leadership are not fully formed yet, and it probably won't really get off the ground until next fall, but it's exciting to see God working!

Drivin' Forward in Faith

Now that the school year has ended, I have the time to put in on a couple of big projects--helping Blondechick plan her wedding, and helping B20 find a job.  There's not much to tell yet on Job A, except we're going to look at wedding and reception venues this week!

On Job B....  We attended the mandatory informational meeting at the Kenosha DVR (Department of Vocational Rehabilitation), and it sounds like the whole process is going to be slow, and we ought to do our best to find him employment without their help.  He's filled out applications at several places, and then I thought to take him to Manpower, the temporary agency.

That visit was most encouraging. A woman there spent a lot of time with us, and it sounds likely that he'll be a good fit for a client that will have openings in just another week or so.  It would begin as a temporary position, but should lead to employment if he does a good job.  So we are praying that this will all come about!

In the meantime, I was looking at bus routes to get him to work, and not finding anything promising.  But the car route wasn't too bad of a drive, I noticed.  I talked with Papa Rooster about it, and we each had the same sudden inner conviction.  Though he makes us nervous, B20 would be just fine driving himself to and from work.

He passed his driver's test, after all--a year ago.  In fact, almost exactly a year ago, I began to realize, fighting back panic as I looked through a file drawer for his road test results.  As they continued to elude me, I thought, "What if I find them and they just expired yesterday?"  My next thought was, "Well, Lord, if that's the case, then we'll know it's because he shouldn't be driving.  It's in your hands, Lord."

This was last Friday afternoon.  The DMV would be closed on the weekend, probably.

And the test results were dated--June 14!  The following Tuesday--today, in fact.

So yesterday, we "cashed in" his road test results for a Wisconsin driver's license.  He didn't want to drive home. It's been a year since he's driven, and we had the 15-passenger van because we were dropping off a bike at the bike repair place afterwards.

But once he has a job and we figure out a vehicle for him, we'll get him up to speed again. When he had his learner's permit, we had him driving everywhere, but he'll be a lot more comfortable driving the same roads every day.

It's funny how sometimes God nudges you along.  That very night, after Papa R and I had decided he ought to get his license, I was meeting with some women from our church, and they ended up sharing stories of elderly relatives or clients who were driving long past the time that someone should have taken away their car keys. So I told them that we were thinking of letting B20 get his license, and they agreed that he'd probably be just fine.  (His vision, hearing and reflexes are fine, after all!) Then one friend commented that being a good driver has a lot to do with noticing things that are unusual or out of the ordinary, and that is one facet of B20's autism--he's very observant about things that are out of place.  Her comment seemed like a confirmation from the Lord that if the route is familiar, he'll do fine.

And I am feeling dizzy with relief at no longer being The One Driving Him Back and Forth to Work Every Day.  I woke up one morning a couple weeks ago filled with anxiety about that role. I didn't even think, then, of him getting his license after all, but God heard my prayers and I believe this is truly His answer, not mine.

The less-exciting news is that now we have to start paying for auto insurance for him. (At least he turns 21 in 6 months!) But if gets a job, he's happy to pay his own insurance, and pay us back for a car too.

So we're drivin' forward in faith...that he'll get the job...that we'll find cheap wheels for him when the time comes...that he'll be safe...and so will those around him!

Plan A for Bantam20

Well, we've been holding our breaths here, during B20's second semester at college.  His first semester was a little rocky.  He ended up getting very behind in one class and having to drop it, which took him below full-time status and made it quite an expensive semester.  But he passed all his remaining classes, and that was with zero support, as it turned out, so we gave him another chance.

For the second semester, he had a lot more accountability and support through the tutoring center, and we were pleased and hopeful.  So it was disappointing to hear, two-thirds of the way through the semester, that the same thing had happened again:  he had gotten impossibly far behind in one class and had to drop it.

Papa Rooster and I didn't really have to think about our decision:  It's just too expensive per semester to only earn minimal credits.  B20 would not be able to go back.

He knew it.  He's terribly disappointed in himself.  But he's also got perspective: "Well, God answered my prayer.  I wanted to be able to finish out the whole year, and I'm getting to do that."

And that's how I'm looking at it too.  I'm so glad he's had this year.  I thought I'd feel regret at the "waste" of money, but I'm glad he's had the experience of living on his own, of attending college classes and getting a taste of what it will take to finish his degree, if he really wants to.  Both his advisor and his tutor believe he has the intellectual ability; he needs the motivation to really want the education, for himself, and the self-discipline to minimize distractions.

I reminded him that originally, his plan had been to live at home, find a job, work and take some classes.  Going to college was kind of a "Plan B."  So in a way, we're just going back to Plan A, I told him.  It seemed a reassuring thought, and on Easter Sunday, I heard him telling someone at church that he was returning to Plan A.

The problem with Plan A is that B20 doesn't have his driver's license.  We deferred the decision after he passed the driving test by not "cashing in" the test results for a license immediately, and the more we've thought about it, the less inclined we are to have him driving.  There's so much information coming in while one is driving, and it keeps changing; it's hard for him to prioritize it all.  To him, a billboard may demand more attention than the brake lights of the car in front of him.  He's as nervous as we are.

When he gets home from college in two weeks, he'll apply for a City of Kenosha program that helps find jobs and possibly transportation for people with disabilities.  I'm hoping for a job that keeps him physically active, since he's put on 50 pounds in his year at college, and his leisure activities are all sedentary:  reading, manipulating computer images and video games.  Maybe in the long term, this kind of job will be better for him than the kind of desk job he'd have with a degree in Digital Design.  And I'm praying hard for a solution to the transportation issue...anything but Mom!

I invite you once again to join us in prayer for B20's future.  We are so thankful for God's clear direction to send him to college for this year.  We will be happy to have him back at home for now, but clearly he needs a job to keep him active and occupied by something other than his own leisure activities.  He also needs to pay back his student loans, and start saving for further education or his own place, which is one of his heart's desires.  It was very encouraging to see that he could manage well on his own.  He didn't oversleep or skip classes or chapel, and he's been attentive to deadlines and assignments in most of his classes.

So much to be thankful for!  A whole set of new concerns lies just around the corner, but for now, I am grateful.

Teenager No More

Well, I managed to get in that post on parenting teenagers while I could still say that I had three of them.

But no more!

Today, my oldest turns 20.

He's been a relatively easy teenager.  Give him a computer or a book, and he's perfectly content for hours. Even days.

His birthday wishlist contained nothing but books, an assortment of graphic novels and encyclopedic reference books.

Oh.  No.  I mean these kinds of reference books:

Librarians love him.

For Christmas, he asked for (and received):

 

I know, it's hard to tell.  But it's a Lego set--the Corporate Alliance Tank Droid.

Yeah, his little brothers love him too.

He's a loveable guy.  Dad and I love you too, B20!

A birthday Scripture passage for you:

Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
   Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
   and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
   not one of them is missing.

 Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;  

but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint. 

(from Isaiah 40)

College News

I know some of you have been praying for us and our decision about Bantam19 returning to college next semester.

I know, because we've come to remarkable clarity on this issue:  We are sending him back.

In my first conversation with his adviser, she wasn't sure if he could handle college.  She's the one who first planted the suggestion that he might do better focusing on one course at a time.  But in that first conversation, it was also a revelation to her that B19 has autism, though I thought she had been told that from the beginning, as I requested.

In our second conversation, after meeting with B19 several times to discuss his writing, she had a completely different take on him.  This time she strongly encouraged me to give him another chance.  She was frustrated, as we have been, that the support that he needed wasn't set up for him from the very beginning.  She assured me that if he came back, he would have a very different experience.

That conversation alone seemed to strongly point toward allowing him to return.  Oh, and regarding his weight gain from eating in the dining hall, she assured me that next semester, a Fitness major would be assigned to work out with him and in her words, "keep him on the straight and narrow." What else could we ask for?

Well, passing grades, we thought.

So when his grades were posted and he had pulled in two C+'s and a C, we were very pleased.  If he can do that well without any support, in his first semester of college, we figure he can probably pass enough classes to graduate.

His Algebra grade is still not showing up, and we are all hoping for a D-.  B19 doesn't speak Math.  But his algebra teacher gave him hours of extra time on his final, and when he still wasn't done, she offered to come back in after the Christmas break had begun so that he could finish it.  I couldn't believe it!  Turns out she has an autistic son too.  Her willingness to go the extra mile with him spoke to us.  Another confirmation to give the kid another chance.

Finally, we received a couple of financial windfalls that just seemed like God saying, "What further objections could you have?"

So Papa Rooster is taking him back to school tonight.  He has a MWF 8:00 class in the morning.  (Something I managed to avoid ever taking when I was in college!  But he's a better morning person than I am.)

It's been nice having him around for vacation.  He's been helpful with dishes, and playing Legos with younger brothers, and even helped sort Barbies from Playmobil from Hot Wheels from K'nex.  He also managed to lose 12 pounds in the last month, by avoiding dessert and carefully not eating till he was full, but only eating to put something in his stomach--his own discovery.  He also used our treadmill almost daily, at least to walk for awhile, and he told me today that he's looking forward to an exercise routine and getting fit.

So we are really encouraged, in many ways, and I am eager to see how this second semester of college goes for him.

Thank you, those who have been praying for him, and for us.

Thank you, Lord, for such clear direction for his immediate future.  Thank you for him, and for who he is, with all his eccentricities and delightful quirks.  Thank you for such good relationships with his younger siblings, who will miss him.  Bless him, Lord, with support and friendships and knowledge opening up before him.  Give him diligence and perseverance, and teach him to communicate his needs and limit his distractions.  Thank you, Lord, for loving and caring for him continually.  Amen.

College Concerns

I'm getting nervous.

B19, in his first semester of college, is struggling.  (I wasn't sure about going public with this, but he has, on Facebook, so I guess I can comment.)

The first semester of college is a big adjustment for most kids, and that's even more true for one who has required a fair amount of assistance throughout high school.  But I'm worried that this may be more than just an adjustment issue.  We are questioning whether full-time college is the right fit for B19, and whether we should keep on paying for it.

I know that other parents find themselves faced with the same decision, when their student is suffering from lack of motivation or priorities.  But they usually know that their child is capable of doing the work, if he or she were making good choices.  We're just not sure about B19's ability to make it through four years of college. He's having difficulty following through on some of the basics, like turning in difficult assignments, or signing up for tutoring help, and in one class, he never told us that he didn't have the book and software that he needed to do the assignments.  (He ended up having to drop it, taking him from 12 hours down to 9 hours, making those 9 credits very expensive ones.)   He has to take more than 12 hours a semester, or the overall cost becomes ridiculous, but we're unsure if he'll be able to handle much more.  And he's gained a lot of weight from eating in the dining hall.

He's now signed up for a weekly check-in with a mentor at the tutoring center, and I have asked his adviser for some assessment and her input on whether he should continue.  We're just in a wait-and-see position.

College has been a positive experience for him, and I don't regret sending him.  But we do need wisdom about whether to let him continue as a full-time, on-campus student.  It might be a better use of resources to have him live at home and take a class or two at a time, and there's a higher probability that he could be successful at that pace.  But that decision would raise many other issues, such as how he'll get to classes or to work, and how we help him become more independent in the long term. It puts responsibility for him back on our shoulders, in many ways...not that sending him to college removed it, but we had hoped that it would begin to transfer to him.

So pray with us and for us. And I'd love to hear any advice, wisdom, or experience anyone has to offer!

Fall News

Pictures, or story?  I don't have time for both this morning. I guess we'll go for narrative--it seems like updates are overdue in many areas!

Bantam19, 30 minutes away at Trinity International University (TIU), is doing very well.  He's so happy, really enjoying college life, independence and new friends.  I went to visit him for Family Weekend.  I suspect that his friends are not deep friends, but acquaintances that he feels comfortable sitting with at meals.  But he has a lot more of those than he ever had in high school--and you have to start somewhere with any friendship--so he's happy and so are we!  He's found a church, a sister Anglican parish nearby, and he's getting rides from a seminary student; it sounds like a lot of Trinity students worship there.  He's attending all his classes, says he's keeping up with all his assignments and thinks he's doing fine on them.  He's enjoying the food a little too much, but is taking some corrective steps.  That's probably my biggest prayer request for him--that he can really own the responsibility of managing his diet and exercise now that he's away from parental help in that area.

At home, our virtual schooling is getting easier, now that we've figured out how it all works and fits together.  Bantam11 will tell you that he is really enjoying iQAcademy's 6th grade.  It seems pretty challenging, but the lessons are just short enough that he finds it manageable. Some of the more creative assignments ask for a good amount of critical thinking, vs. regurgitation of facts, so I'm really pleased at how engaged he is.

Chicklet8 has blown me away with how quickly she's caught up to second grade level work! I honestly don't know how she would have tested at the beginning of the year, but we really did not spend the time last year that one needs to spend with a first-grader, so her reading and writing were not quite up to the level that seem to be expected by the online Little Lincoln curriculum (although I now know that she's not the only 2nd grader to find it challenging).  We were spending many, many hours a day for the first couple of weeks, because her reading was slow, and she was reluctant to read much or especially to write much. I was even helping her with some of it, just to keep things from being too overwhelming.  But she's made huge leaps in both areas, and now is reading much faster and more expressively.  She's hardly reluctant at all now about her lessons, and is even reading and writing independently, just for fun (and for computer time). I'm very proud of her.

Blondechick17 is lovin' her senior year at the Christian school, and B15 is enjoying being her freshman brother. He took one of her friends to Homecoming last weekend, and she went with the same boy she's been dating for the last year or so. She's continued to work at her restaurant job on the weekends since school started.  This weekend she took off, so she could go to a statewide choir conference.  Her director was allowed to bring only two girls and two boys, so it was an honor to be invited!

B15 played JV soccer and was the high scorer for the season! Okay, he tied for high scorer with 4 other guys.  They each had one goal. Their team won one game. It wasn't a fabulous season.  But he learned a lot, and there's always next year!  He also joined the cross-country team halfway through the soccer season.  He's only run in two meets, and isn't really enjoying it. He likes running, but cross-country, the sport, is a whole 'nother thing.  Still, he's learning a lot, and I'm so glad he's had the opportunity, even at his small school, to try different things.

B5 and B11 continue to play soccer on Saturdays; B11 is learning fast, to catch up with the boys who've been playing every Saturday, spring and fall, for years--but B5 was born to play soccer, I think.  I have a whole post in mind about that...but now, I want to go catch a little of his game!


Pictures next time, perhaps...!

Congratulations, Bantam19!

Look at that young man.  See that half-smile, the hands fingering his diploma?  He's pleased.  He's proud of himself.  He's filled with wonderment and barely-believing.

From the minute he entered the auditorium, one of nearly 500 in his class, I felt a lump in my throat.  I'm sure it's normal to feel emotional as a parent at a graduation--it's the end of an era, after all, and a launching into the unknown future--but what I felt was something different than I imagine most parents around me were experiencing.  I kept thinking back to his diagnosis of autism at age 4, when he was barely able to put words together into a sentence, when he couldn't answer a question or count or understand a childish joke.  

How far he has come!

If you had told me then that he would graduate from one of the largest high schools in Wisconsin along with all of the "normal" kids...well, I might not have believed you.  I might not like to be told how the book ended either:  The journey itself has been such an experience of faith, trust, and watching God work in our lives--more than we could ask or imagine!

We had over 50 guests at his open house, including all four grandparents.  (These are my parents, who were able to stay for the ceremony as well.)

And the story continues with the next exciting chapter:  Trinity College in the fall!  We got the news of his acceptance just three days before his graduation--perfect timing to share the news with family and friends at his open house.  Thank you to those who prayed! (Why did we choose Trinity?)

My heart feels at rest.  I am filled with joy and thankfulness!

B19, this is my prayer for you, from Ephesians 3:16-21:

I pray that out of God's glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. 

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Happy Birthday, Bantam19!

Only one more year as a teenager! I can't believe it.

The coming year holds many momentous events: graduation from high school, getting a driver's license (hopefully), getting a job (hopefully), starting college classes (hopefully). You will need God's wisdom and direction for your life more than you ever have!

My birthday wish for you is that you will become a man of the Word, and a man of prayer. There is no other way to learn to hear God's voice or to sense the Holy's Spirit's gentle nudges. You're going to need these abilities as you head toward independence and a life of your own.

I can't wait to see how God will answer our prayers for you for all these big changes. "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 1:6)

God has begun a good work in you, son. You have a deep faith and trust in God. Now it's up to you to "work out" what God has "worked in." (Phil. 2:12-13) You are beginning to work out physically; may you strengthen and train your spiritual muscles this year too!

We love you and thank God for you!!

News and Views

Papa Rooster got a new lens for his camera!





Blondechick16 survived camp, though she was one of the few who never saw a tick on themselves. She froze each night and woke up soaked each morning, since the tent was too small to stay away from the walls. But she ran, hiked, biked, canoed, prepared her own meals and learned a few things about herself and others.




And we finally met Bantam18's girlfriend! We loved her. She is cute and funny and sweet, and it amazed us to hear her and B18 talk about school, just like other kids...which B18 never does! Now I understand how they connected--she is very direct and outspoken, and says what she thinks, in a loud voice. She has a loud laugh, too, and she likes to tease, which is good for him. He'll object, and she soothes him, and they seem to have a comfortable, low-key relationship. She wants to come to church with us soon!

Well, Where Were We?

Blondechick16--

Blondechick's charter school requires all the sophomores to give a presentation called "Sophomore Passage" to 2-3 teachers or other school staff, their parents, and a community member that they have invited. BC had to make a portfolio of her work and Powerpoint slides to outline her talk, which had to include certain elements explaining how she had progressed through her sophomore year.

She did a super job. Her "gift of gab" serves her very well in these situations! One comment she made, which was so funny in its frankness, was about how she had applied the scientific method to real life: "I chose 'high school drama' because that happens to me." She went on to describe how she collected data and discovered that certain friends, before they knew her, thought that she was glaring at them and disliked them, when actually she liked them. She began experimenting with her facial expressions and made a special effort to smile more and even at people she didn't know. She concluded that people found her more approachable as a result. (Three cheers for the scientific method!)

Their next end-of-year passage, which illustrates this charter school's connection to the organization Outward Bound, is a 5-day camping trip without any luxuries, like toilets. As in, dig your own hole. No hair dryers or straighteners or makeup allowed. Should be quite the experience for Blondechick!

Bantam18--

B18 somehow did not get registered for the ACT next month. I am perturbed. I thought his advisor was handling this, because he needs modifications like extra time to complete the test.

It's a good thing he's not applying next fall to colleges that need his ACT scores! After his senior year, he'll go either to a community college or his first choice: Flashpoint Academy. I was told about it by a teacher who works with autistic adults, and she said Flashpoint had approached her, telling her not to hesitate to encourage students with autism to apply, that Flashpoint would work with them and that many of them had giftings that would be a good fit there. It seems perfect for B18, and he is starting to get excited about it!

We still haven't met his girlfriend, and they only talk at school. So it's been a nice, manageable relationship for us, at least.

Bantam14--

B14 will be taking a standardized test next week, his first ever. I am "teaching to the test" this week; specifically, we are blitzing through a workbook on reading maps and charts! That's one thing you miss when you don't use many textbooks, and it tripped up Blondechick when she took her first and only standardized test in the same grade, 7th. We are also covering some material from a test prep workbook I have which covers basic question types and test-taking strategies. All new to B14!

His robotics team competed a few weeks ago and had a disappointing frequency problem in the first event, where the 'bot wouldn't communicate with the controller. It appeared that another team had the same crystal (whatever that means--fortunately B14 understands it!). Since it was the sumo wrestling event, their 'bot was damaged and unable to compete in the other events. B14 and Co. didn't seem to mind too much; the pressure was off and they could relax. He learned a lot, and that's what counts!

He also just finished up a Film-Making class through the theater group. He was right about their film being pretty lame, but again, he learned from the experience.

and Bantam10--

Both boys have been taking a homeschool track class, which met for a manageable 7 times in a 3 weeks, for 1.5 hours at a time. They've had the chance to try hurdles, long jump, shot put and other track events as well as running various distances. They're both pretty fast for their ages, they discovered! B14 pulled a quad muscle in the 3rd class, though, so he's been hampered with that injury ever since. Today is the last class.

B10 is progressing nicely in piano and we are planning to start him on an instrument next year, in the public school 5th grade band program. He's thinking of trumpet or sax, and we already have one of each, so that works out. He just finished up a dance class through the theater group, and he is psyched to take tap dancing this summer!

Chicklet6--

C6 is also going to take a dance class this summer--it's tap and ballet, and we were delightedly shocked to find both tap and ballet shoes in her size and the right color for the dress code (pink) at our neighbor's garage sale last weekend! I spent a whopping $4 on both pairs, and the tap shoes were never worn. A friend passed on a pink leotard to us too, free of charge, so we'll just have to buy pink tights and she'll be set. (Now all I need are black jazz pants for B10!)

Poor girl, her education has been sadly neglected for the past month or so, but she's been learning anyway. I'm planning to do "summer school" with her to move her along with her reading, particularly. It's coming along beautifully and she's going to take off as soon as I can find the time to spend regularly with her.

Bantam4--

B4 is a constant source of amusement and delight, everywhere he goes. The kids and adults at The Wizard of Oz were all captivated by his cuteness. He's just a funny character, with the most impish expressions and great exuberance about life. "He's like a bull in a china shop!" one woman exclaimed to me as he shoved politely past her. Yep.

His latest accomplishment is perfecting a number of consonants, including and especially the letter C, which made possible this sentence just yesterday: "I can come in the car with you." First he said, "I tan come in the tar with you," but when I asked him to say it correctly, he could! He's going to be more ordinary without his funny mispronunciations, but understandable is good too. He and C6 play so beautifully together for hours on end, which is why it's so easy not to do lessons with her!

All for now...!

It's Official

Bantam18 surprised us all by announcing, a few weeks ago, that there was a girl.

Now, B18 has had his share of social difficulties, due to his autism. He's so high-functioning that many adults don't pick up on it right away, but kids always do. So this year at a new school, he's mostly been eating lunch alone. He doesn't mind. He reads, or he does homework.

But last quarter, a girl began sitting with him. A Christian girl, he told us, whose parents won't take her to church and who discourage her from praying. He's been encouraging her, he said. She needs a Christian friend. She gave him her phone number.

He didn't call her right away. He tried to find her on Facebook, but couldn't. Fourth quarter began, and they no longer had the same lunch period.

But she saw him in the hall the other day. She told him how much she missed him. They exchanged hugs.

Today, they decided that they officially like each other.

I'd like to meet her soon, I told him when he relayed this news. She'll come to church with us sometime, he said confidently.

I am pleasantly, delightedly, in shock.

There have been boys in Blondechick's life. There are girls who've shown interest in B13. I have been unexcited.

But I am grateful for this girl--just for being kind to my son and for showing interest in him. Whether she's around for long or not, whether she meets with our approval or not...she gives me hope for B18's future!

Thank you, Lord, for the unexpected!

Pecking Order

So are we the only family fighting over this?



Christopher Paolini is Bantam17's hero: the homeschooled teenager has written this fantasy series that reminds me a little too much of Anne McCaffrey's Dragonriders of Pern, which I adored in high school--with shades of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, as well.

Still, what Paolini may lack in originality, he makes up for in talent, as the first draft of the first book, Eragon, was written when he was just fifteen. (Here's a short bio.) And the tale has taken on a life of its own, which we are all eager to continue.

Alas, I am third in line behind Bantam17 and then Papa Rooster!

Here is a fascinating interview with Christopher Paolini, with advice for writers and comments about his homeschooling experience (positive). Bantam17 listened to the whole thing, and it confirmed his approach to the book he's working on. Paolini likes to listen to movie soundtracks while he writes--just like Bantam17!

Bantam17 Gets Ready for School

Today Blondechick15 and I go in to the new school to get her schedule done and to have a tour. In the meantime, here's the latest on Bantam17!

After a long wait from his old school for his now-expired IEP, we finally got the phone call last week to come in and do his schedule. With a block schedule, he'll be taking a slow-paced Algebra class all year, and for the first quarter, World Literature & Composition, Art & Design, and a study hall which will become a Creative Writing class in the second quarter. Third quarter he'll have Spanish 102 (we did Rosetta Stone Spanish last year), Matter and Energy, and a study hall which will become a U.S Government & Politics class in the fourth quarter. We're all excited about the Creative Writing class for him--he thinks he would like to be an author.

He missed his three-year re-evaluation due to being homeschooled last year, so they're going to administer all those tests, including an IQ test. That was good news to me, because the psychologist who re-evaluated his diagnosis last year had suggested that an IQ test would be helpful, especially as we look at career placement for him.

Though the high school he'll be attending is such a large place, I feel like the special education department is a smaller school-within-a-school, with more oversight and continuity than our old high school. He's been assigned a case manager for the whole year--not one I've met, but one that they thought would be a good fit for B17 and his interests--and I hope that he will make sure B17 is getting the help he needs, but doesn't always ask for.

We've been spending the last few weeks of summer meeting new dentists, doctors and specialists--getting appointments in now, because it will be much harder after school is in session. Bantam17 saw an ear, nose and throat doctor last week, because he was complaining about his hearing. (Actually, his siblings were complaining more: "Mom, take [B17] to the doctor! He can't hear anything!") He's had issues with wax and fluid accumulation before, and had to have tubes a few years ago.

Sure enough, a hearing test shows a 20% hearing loss, consistent with fluid behind the eardrums. ("Well, Mrs. Hen, your son does have a significant hearing loss," the ENT doctor said. "Yes, Doctor, we thought so," I replied with a chuckle.)

Last time, it cleared up with nasal decongestants, so we're going that route first, but a prayer request is that he'll be hearing well by next Tuesday when school starts.

Another prayer request is that he'll make a friend or two at school--that he'll have someone to eat lunch with. A Christian friend would be ideal...but I'd be happy if he just had someone safe and nice to sit with!

On Friday we have an appointment to remove a skin tag from his neck, and we're going to buy him new shoes after that. Other than that, he's all ready to go back to school! Although "resigned" is probably a better word. (A friend or two would help, Lord....)

Now I'm off with Blondechick...and the uneasy feeling that I must find some time to think about my upcoming year of homeschooling with my 7th, 4th and 1st graders! More on that in another post.

Priceless

Well, I'm about 2/3 of the way done getting the old glue mostly off the walls in my dining room--last night I finished everything above the chair rail. (I didn't even get started till after supper yesterday, though.) I finished listening to Right Ho, Jeeves and started Focus on the Family's Radio Theater production of Little Women. Oh, so good!

While I get back to work this morning--in hopes of painting the whole thing tonight with Father Rooster when he gets home from work--let me share some treasures from the attic.

I have mentioned that Bantam17 has high-functioning autism, and I've described his creativity as a child in creating play schemes for himself and other children. He went through a stage (he was about 11) where he was always posting signs on the door to the basement, which served as playroom as well as bedroom for the boys. I saved them, and when I found them the other day, I typed them up to share with you all. Enjoy!

Orchestra.
I (I mean) We love MUSIC.
Please come in.

Serious musical practicing going on inside.
STOP!
Please don't come in.

Pharoah's or King's Palace Headquarters.
Please come in.

Note: Call me King Tutankamun.

The grand Ball.
Alas, very grand.
do, Please come in!

Want to visit the king?
Who is, King ____?
(who is only shown on stage)

King's Dungeon.
Watch out!
Dark down here!
A fire will be lit. (it's fake)

Adults mustn't go unattended.
Adult must be accompanied by a kid. Or child.
By order of the King!

Security office.
Sherriff.
Dead or Alive! Hurt or unhurt!
Security cameras in use.

We proudly present (as entertainment)
the Buffalo Brother's

Wild West Show!

Letter to the King's subjects,
A ball has been arranged in the king's palace.

He'd like all maidens to come to the ball and they are invited.

Plus more at the ball, there will be the Buffalo Brother's Wild West Show to watch.

Sincerely, King ______

Letter to all Girls,
The King wishes all Girls to brand themself on the shoulder.

The brands are a tattoo, any kind of tattoo BUT on the shoulder.

Just to tell you, you are a spy. Or an asassin.

Sincerely, King ______

Letter to the Boys,
Boys too may brand themselves to be a asassin or a spy. But on the shoulder! Just to tell you, the King himself branded himself on the shoulder too. The brands are a tattoo. Any kind of tattoo. Sincerely, King ______

These were from a little earlier. They weren't signs, but love notes, of a sort...

James Monroe, the Nutcracker. (underneath his picture)
Jesus loves me! Jesus loves you!
You're special.
I love you, Nutcracker.

Your Lifetime Valentine!

Dear James Monroe, I'm glad you're MY FRIEND. I hope you have fun being my friend. I hope you like your bed that I gave you to sleep in. There are some other things I want to give you, like this: ARMY things to help get you started on your ARMY. Besides, don't forget about the army plane, too! Love, ______

***

Update from the home-buying front: I guess we're going to wait till after Sunday to make an offer, since Housing Inspector Brother-in-Law (along with wife and daughter) is going to meet us in WI for church, lunch and a look at the house. Might as well have his professional opinion before we write the offer!

Happy Birthday, Bantam17

Remember the family photo shoot last fall? Well, I'm going to share some of our selections in a series of posts describing the members of our family.

And since today happens to be Bantam17's birthday, I'll start with him!

First, some background on this remarkable young man. As our firstborn, we weren't sure what to think when, by age 3.5, it became clear that he had a significant speech delay. We had him evaluated by a specialist, who diagnosed him with Pervasive Developmental Disorder--Not Otherwise Specified, High Functioning. It's a diagnosis that was popular at the time, but it's too general to be helpful. We recently had him re-evaluated and we're told that, based on the fact that he had a speech delay, High-Functioning Autism is probably the more accurate label for him than Asperger's...but as this article explains, the three labels are interrelated.

From an early age, he showed unusually creative play skills, compared to the other kids in his developmental preschool class. He'd combine objects from different sets to set up a scenario, like a restaurant or a store, using some of the items in unusual ways to create a needed item like a cash register. As he got older, he created all kinds of playthings with boxes or old containers, duct tape and markers. And of course, he loved sets like Duplos and Legos—an interest that continues to this day, as you can see from his blog.

When he began to read, new worlds were opened to him—worlds in outerspace, Middle Earth and elsewhere…and the world of words. He loves learning new ones and trying them out in conversation. (“Want to venture off with me?” he asked a younger brother once.) He’s always been an excellent speller, and writing has always been a strength as well. Math is more of a struggle for him, but we are so thankful for his facility with language.

For someone with autism, Bantam17 is unusually high-functioning socially. He has always been able to draw kids of all ages into his play schemes, whether it was “restaurant” back in preschool, or “knights’ training camp” with neighborhood kids in the back yard, or AirSoft re-enactments with his high-school buddies. God has been so good to provide a few of those--one especially--and adult friends as well, who are genuinely interested in him. And he’s always been loving and responsive with his family, which is such a blessing.

After five years in public school, Bantam17 has been home this year, and it’s been nice having him around more. He’s so helpful with Chicklet5 and Bantam2.9, especially. Those three are the earliest risers, so on most mornings, he eats breakfast with them and cleans up after them, freeing me to get organized for my day. He also spends Friday nights and Saturday mornings babysitting them, while I take the three theater kids to rehearsals without having to worry whether Father Rooster is home or not. Bantam17 enjoys preparing for these weekends by going to the library and selecting an age-appropriate movie, which he watches with them. They all enjoy this time together.

Living in close proximity in the basement with Bantam12 and Bantam8, there are bound to be disagreements, but that’s been better since Bantama17 started taking Concerta this fall. And what always unites them is…Legos! He and Blondechick15 are learning to understand one another better since he’s been home too.

What are his future plans? You can read about them in this post on his blog. You'll see there are lots of possibilities!

So Happy Birthday to a young man who’s had many obstacles to overcome, but whose heart is true and upright and loving. You bless us all by being part of our family, and we are so proud of the young man you are becoming. Hold tight to God, as I know you will. Don’t be discouraged. God has a plan for you. Do your part, and trust Him with the rest.

We love you!

Spic'n'Span for Sunday

We are in Kenosha this morning for Sunday morning service, then going into Chicago to visit my brother-in-law, his wife and our little niece. We'll be celebrating birthdays--Papa Rooster, his dad and his brother were all born in August.

Since it's Sunday, it seems like a good day to ask for your prayers, again, that our house would sell soon. The market is not just soft, but dead currently; we haven't had a showing in weeks, though we keep dropping our price. When it sells, we'll know that it is the Lord who has done it, that's for sure!

Trying to keep it perpetually clean and picked up has been a full time job this summer--I don't know how we're going to manage it once we start back with school. And it's getting very discouraging to keep working so hard to leave it picture-perfect when we're gone for the day, as we often are on Sundays--only to have no one come and see it.

One of the kids prayed the other day, "Please help us sell our house soon so we can stop cleaning all the time." (And I say Amen to that!) So if you can also pray for an extra helping of grace in the midst of difficulty--thank you!

***

Today you're all invited over to Asperger's Kids are Cool, where I've got a post up sharing some of our story with Bantam16.

Of Visits and Visitors

I'm sure you've all been lying awake nights wondering what has happened to me and Striving Towards Divine Love. Neither of us has posted since Thursday--aren't you worried about us?

Just kidding....

Actually, we're having a lovely visit at my parent's home in Ohio, along with her husband (my brother)and their two girls, and my other brother, his wife and their three girls. ("Do your kids have any boy cousins?" my niece asked me today. And the answer is...no.) My parents are hosting us all beautifully, and today we were joined by my 95-year-old grandmother, my great-aunt and -uncle, their son (my cousin once removed), and my mother's cousin and her husband, for the afternoon. Such riches of family!

I'd love to post pictures of our day at the fair, our trip to the children's museum, the cousins all together...but I forgot that essential cord that downloads the photos.

Between meals (it seems we're always cleaning up from one or getting ready for another!), I've had little time for writing as I'm too busy gabbing with my relatives--oh, and reading the last Harry Potter book, late at night. But, in keeping with the family theme, I offer you--my kids' latest posts.

Bantam 16 updated his blog, To Heaven and Kingdom Come, awhile back and I've been remiss in not linking to his post about his thoughts on having Asperger's Syndrome.

And Blondechick14 has started a new blog, Drama Ditz. She'd love visitors!

A New Blog

My blogging friend Blest With Sons has started a new group blog called Asperger's Syndrome: These Kids Are Cool!--and I'm going to be one of the regular contributors. Its mission is to help and encourage Christian parents of kids with AS (or anything similar, such as High-Functioning Autism).

So today, while we are busy staging two performances of Cinderella for huge groups of school children (600+ kids at each show), go read my post about the part my oldest son plays in our family's theater activities!