Update on the Birthday Girl--Blondechick19!

She's a college girl now.

She got a music scholarship, so she's been taking voice lessons, participating in choir, and singing with the worship team in chapel.  She sang recently at our All-Church Talent Show:

She probably wouldn't want me to post this, since it wasn't her very best performance; she was at the Urgent Care the next day for an ear infection AND an upper respiratory infection.  But no one else could tell!

She's planning on switching majors, though.  She can still be in choir, voice lessons and worship team, and probably keep most of her scholarship, but she can tell she's just not cut out for the hours in the practice room that a music major requires.  She's not thrilled about her required keyboard lessons or Music Theory class either.  Music Theory is, in fact, the bane of her existence this semester.

And she's coming home tonight, on her birthday, for Thanksgiving break!  Her siblings are excited.

(I call this "the blonde team." Half our kids have the white-blonde hair, and we honestly can't figure out where it came from! No blondes among their parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. Yes, my husband is half Norwegian, but Grandpa says that out of the 11 in his immediate family, only one sister was blonde.)

Mugging for the camera is one of her favorite activities!

These two have always been close.  Ask either one of them who their BFF is, and they will name the other.

(It is one of my great joys and blessings that my kids all seem to like and enjoy each other.  I don't know if we've done something to cultivate this or if it's just a gift!  I think homeschooling has contributed to a great extent, and it's probably the right mix of ages and genders too.  Recently B16 told me that one of the best things about being home this year has been re-establishing his relationship with B12--they are enjoying each other a lot.  Too much, sometimes, given their school workload--but I am so grateful!)

Blondechick likes hats.

She also likes babies. 

(So does B16.  A few weeks ago, in the car, he said, "You know, Mom, B6 isn't really a little kid any more.  We haven't had a baby around for awhile now, I just realized.  I miss having a baby in the house.  I can't wait to have a baby.")

She's had her trials.  She's sworn off boys for the time being, and she's drawing closer and closer to God.  She's learning new things about Him and about herself.  He is meeting her in her moments of pain and difficulty.  It's clear that He is moving in her life, making Himself more real to her, and she is responding to Him.

What a great "birthday gift" for her parents, to see the child we've loved and prayed for her since before her birth 19 years ago drawing near to her Creator, listening to Him to tell her who He made her to be, what that unique mix of personality, talents and interests is all about.  We've always been curious, with her, to see how God would direct and shape her strong will and personality.  We've done our best to do that, and it hasn't always been easy.  As she grows older, we have to trust God to take over that role for us more and more.  To see her responding to His leadings makes my heart burst with thanksgiving.

Happy Birthday, daughter.  You are a delight, and a source of laughter and great joy to us.  Thank you for being yourself, and for striving to learn who you are in God's eyes.  He made you to be a uniquely beautiful gem!

Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, 

I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise, 

your foundations with lapis lazuli. 

I will make your battlements of rubies, 

your gates of sparkling jewels, 

and all your walls of precious stones. 

All your children will be taught by the LORD, 

and great will be their peace. 

Isaiah 54:11-13

Lessons Behind Us

Though the private Christian school that B16 and BC18 attended has been out for two weeks, B12, Chicklet8 and I have been pushing hard to complete their end-of-year projects and assignments for the virtual schools they attended this year...and we are DONE!

Ahhhh, it feels so good.

Overall, I really liked the virtual charter school option that we have here in Wisconsin.  It's been great for B12, especially, to report to someone else besides Mom and receive "for real" grades.  With Mom, it's an A every time because she works with you until you understand the concept (not a bad thing, but the burden is on Mom).  With a teacher, if you miss a lot of problems, you get a bad grade or even fail...then it's up to you to get the help you need, or fall further behind--a needed "reality motivator" for B12.  He did a great job of tackling the assignments on his own and completing his work with hardly any help--I was so proud of him!  He often needed help with time management, since his deadlines were rarely hard and fast, but it was a great opportunity for him to begin to develop those skills that many of us adults struggle with.  (Like what happens when you procrastinate, and how it's better to tackle the unknown assignment early in the week.)

For Chicklet8, I appreciated the accountability more for myself than for her.  I just don't enjoy teaching these early skills, like math facts and handwriting and sounding out words.  When I feel stretched thin by time pressures, as I have these last couple years, it's just so hard for me to find the patience for these kinds of lessons!  So it was good for us both to be pushed along by the school's assignments, and she ended up learning so much this year.  I was very pleased.

For inquiring minds, B12 was enrolled in iQ Academy, through the Waukesha public school district, and I really recommend this program.  In addition to interactive material to absorb, he had a wide variety of assignments that require higher-level thinking than just memorizing for the test, and his teachers were accessible and accommodating.  Chicklet was using the Little Lincoln Interactive curriculum through Wisconsin Virtual Learning, a charter school of the Northern Ozaukee School District.  (I think Little Lincoln is available to anyone, though--maybe not for free, as it was to us.)  Every day there were online lessons in entertaining video form from Mrs. Walden, the writing teacher, Mr. Reed Moore, the reading teacher, Ms. Triggle, the math teacher, and Chicklet's favorite, Dr. Algae, the science teacher. There were also optional games online, at the end of each five-minute video lesson, and workbook pages, as well as art and science activities. You didn't have to turn in everything, just certain assignments, so often we didn't complete every single activity, but I thought that overall, it was a fantastic program.

B6 was my one purely homeschooled student, in kindergarten, and he was done about 3 months ago, I hate to say.  We're still doing a lesson here and a lesson there in Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, but that's been about it for formal education lately. Lots of unschooling going on for him, though, as he spent hours drawing, then began writing strings of letters and numbers, and eventually began phonetically spelling out words and teaching himself simple math facts.  Not every day, mind you, but I was thrilled to see him being his own teacher!

As I've been thinking and praying about next year, I feel great peace about the decision at which we've arrived.  We are going to put B6 and Chicklet8 in public school for a year or so--we'll see how it goes.  I'm calling it a sabbatical, after 14 straight years of homeschooling!  Chicklet went there for half a year last year, you may recall, and we both really liked it.  It was just a long day for a sweet little girl who missed her family, and I didn't make her go back after Christmas break.  But she's so excited about going back as a third grader, and B6 will hopefully get the same Christian teacher that Chicklet had for first grade.  He's ready for more structure and mental challenge, and I think he'll get it better there than from me.  As I said, I just don't enjoy these early lessons, creating motivational challenges for me.

I also long to give Chicklet the lessons she is begging for--cooking, sewing, and art.  I hope if someone else is in charge of the essentials, I'll have more energy for the extras!  But I am realistic.  They will be gone from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., with an earlier bedtime than we are used to, plus they will have homework and piano practice, and AWANA and theater will start back up again...and I'm afraid I won't get much time in the evenings with my little ones, unless I am creative and intentional, which is something I can't wait to think more about.  I just know that the rest of my family needs me too, Mom has been stretched too thin these last couple years, and the younger ones' education is something I can delegate next year, at least.  This plan just feels right, and I feel peace from the Lord about it.

Only B12 will be at home, and he'll do iQ Academy again, since he's able to work so independently and it was such a good experience.  We don't feel that the public middle school would be a good option for him, and the Christian school is a big expense.  So it'll be just him and me next year, unless B16 decides to do iQ Academy instead of the Christian high school--unlikely, but a possibility he's praying about.  It would give him more time to focus on guitar, voice, song-writing, and brushing off his piano knowledge--all things he's really desiring to do--but he wouldn't be able to play sports or see his friends as often, so it's his call.  He's got the summer to decide.

Blondechick will be at Trinity International University, we are nearly certain.  Still financial details to work out, and in two weeks she has an audition to see if they will give her a music scholarship for voice.  We've been told that there is still money there, if they need her in one of their vocal groups, and she doesn't have to major in music, so she might as well see what happens, eh?

B20, Lord willing, will be working.  The job search has been progressing at a snail's pace so far.  Prayers appreciated!

For now, it's just great to have the school year behind us and the summer looming.  Ahhhhhh.....   Bring it on!

Newslets

Besides the snow and the Super Bowl, what all is going on in our lives?

Let's start with the oldest child and work our way down.

Bantam20 seems to be getting off to a good start at college.  He learned some lessons last semester...and so did we.  Like what questions to ask!  Do you have every single book that you need?  Check.  Are you signed up yet for the tutoring program?  Check.  Have you met with your tutor?  Check.  Have you been exercising? What do you weigh? Have you missed any classes?  Do you have any assignments overdue?  Is there anything you are waiting on from a professor?  From your advisor?  Now if we can just remember to go through this list every week!  But his answers have been all good so far, and he seems really determined to stay on top of things.  I am so proud of him.

Blondechick18 is a busy gal these days.  Before Christmas, she left her job as a hostess at Perkins and took a retail job at a mall, and she is much happier at her new job.  She's working around ten hours a week and is managing her time well.  She's staying after school a couple times a week for pre-season women's soccer workouts, and she goes in early for NHS meetings and show choir rehearsals.  She also sings on the worship team at our church and in chapel at school.  Next week she and Bantam15 are performing at a fundraiser Dinner Show; they're singing "What I've Been Looking For" from High School Musical, and they've been practicing the original choreography:



Isn't that cheesy?  They have joked for years about how much fun the two of them could have playing these roles.  These two characters are brother and sister in the musical, and if you know Blondechick, you know she has a Sharpay side to her, and B15 in real life has played Ryan to her Sharpay more than a few times!

Blondechick also was accepted to TIU! That's Trinity in Deerfield, where her brother is, and it's a nice distance from home--about 35 minutes away.  She and her young man are having serious talks about their future as well.  It looks like he'll be continuing at the local university next year, and though she'd like to live at home and go there with him, we're insisting that she spend her first year at a Christian college (some thoughts here). She's resigned, but also cautiously optimistic.  TIU is the closest to her boyfriend, so it looks like that's where she'll be next fall.  She's undecided about playing soccer there or about her major, but she's thinking of communcations.  She just told me that her favorite high school class is English Lit, though, so she might explore an English major too.  (Of course that excites her mother, who started out as a Lit major; ended up an El Ed major, Lit minor.)  She's a good writer, too...so we'll see!

B15 is being inducted into the NJHS (National Junior Honor Society) this week, so now in addition to morning show choir rehearsals, he'll start having NJHS meetings at the same time as Blondechick's NHS meetings.  I am so glad that they can drive together this year!  He usually stays and works out during her soccer workouts; he joins the wrestlers and is thinking about that sport for next year.  He's also excited about their choir trip to California in March.  (So is Blondechick.)  He finished driver's ed and just needs to get his learner's permit soon, since there is a 6-month wait before he can actually get his license...hopefully right before school starts next fall.  We thought about getting it earlier, so he can work this summer, but for what we'd have to pay in insurance premiums on a 16-year-old male, it's probably not worth what he'd earn, assuming he can find a job.  Plus he really wants to go back to Honey Rock, the Christian camp that was so important for him last summer, for four weeks this summer, and we've agreed.

He's also taking guitar lessons and hopes to concentrate even harder this summer.  He runs on our treadmill and works out with weights on our new(-to-us) home gym set, purchased from a friend who's going overseas.  He's helped lead worship a few times at church, and he continues as our senior acolyte.  Next week he's helping to move in all the sets for Willy Wonka; then he's working backstage for two dress rehearsals and most of the shows over two weekends.  He's planning to audition for Robin Hood, our next show, which will make Mama happy to have three kids involved in our Christian theater group again.

B11 and B5 both have birthdays coming up next week.  Chicklet8 and B11 are busy attending Willy Wonka rehearsals every weekend and are eager for the show to go on!  Instead of doing makeup this time, I'm the docent for school visits, so the kids and I are taking a day off next week to visit several schools who are bringing students to our show, along with a small group of cast members.  C8 and B11 continue with piano lessons; B11 serves as an acolyte, and C8 has started asking when she can be one too.  C8 and B5 love their AWANA program.  B5 just started trying to spell words, instead of randomly stringing together letters, so we've been riding that wave!

It's a full life, but a good one.  Thank you, Lord, for the opportunities and privileges you have granted us!

Teenager No More

Well, I managed to get in that post on parenting teenagers while I could still say that I had three of them.

But no more!

Today, my oldest turns 20.

He's been a relatively easy teenager.  Give him a computer or a book, and he's perfectly content for hours. Even days.

His birthday wishlist contained nothing but books, an assortment of graphic novels and encyclopedic reference books.

Oh.  No.  I mean these kinds of reference books:

Librarians love him.

For Christmas, he asked for (and received):

 

I know, it's hard to tell.  But it's a Lego set--the Corporate Alliance Tank Droid.

Yeah, his little brothers love him too.

He's a loveable guy.  Dad and I love you too, B20!

A birthday Scripture passage for you:

Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
   Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
   and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
   not one of them is missing.

 Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;  

but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint. 

(from Isaiah 40)

Further Thoughts on Parenting Teenagers

I am so grateful for all the encouraging words of wisdom and blessing after my last post!  Thank you, friends.

It seems that so much of parenting teenagers is about doing the best you can, appreciating all that you can, and trusting--in God, in yourself, and in the best that's in your kids.  And finally, it's about accepting that there are no guarantees of "success." 

One friend, who's been through it already with his own teens, gave this helpful perspective:

There is so much advice out there, most of it predicated on a falsehood, i.e. if we just do the right thing, then our children will turn out right. That right there gets us off on the wrong foot with the wrong set of expectations. God always does the right thing and look at us!

It has been said that it is not the teens who are damaged in those wonderful years of parental conflict and confrontation, but the parents. I think there is a lot to that. ...Many parents simply do not find parenting to be that happy thing they thought it would be. Fact is, we are flawed human beings trying to raise other flawed human beings. That is not exactly a recipe for success is it?

I think that is another way that the ‘how to parent industry’ misses the mark. At heart it is a theological issue. It assumes more of the parent than should be assumed. Too, I wonder if God is not continuing to parent us as we parent our children. Which means that it is not a matter of the arrived helping the journeying, but the journeying helping each other. All of us in different places on that journey, yet all moving together. 

I really like those last ideas, especially.  As I said in my post, I have been surprised to come up so squarely against my own issues, not just those of my teens. It helps me to think of God using this challenge of parenting teenagers to parent me, to teach me to "grow up" in my faith by letting me experience how helpless I am without Him...just as I'm trying to teach the same kind of faith and trust to my own children.

We're all on the same journey--and none of us will arrive, this side of eternity.

But maybe we can help each other get a little further down the road!

Long Time Coming

Friends, in the comments of this post, many of you said you enjoyed my previous posts on parenting.  Which made me cringe, I must admit.  We are certainly doing a lot of it, but parenting is a sore point with me, these days. This post has been a long time coming, but I think I am ready to share.

I read lots of books on parenting when my kids were all younger, but nothing really prepared me for teenagers.  In our case, our teens--especially #2 and #3--"came of age" just as we moved to a new state, pulling them away from established networks of Christian friends and adults in their lives, their church and Christian activities like theater and homeschool classes.

Without Christian friends at first, they struggled to make good choices.  Even now, with a Christian school and Christian friendships, we are still adjusting, and it's hard to sort out what is character stuff we would have been dealing with no matter what, and what is still regrouping and regaining what was lost in the year or so after our move.  It has required a lot of time and attention, and these struggles--so consuming and painful--just aren't topics one can post on a blog.

But maybe, as one "a little further down the road" now, I can share some of the feelings that have surprised and thrown me.  Maybe I didn't read the right books, but it would have been helpful to anticipate not just "dealing with teenagers" but "dealing with your emotions about having teenagers."  No one told me, but it's a double whammy:  their stuff, and your own stuff, simultaneously.

If you are a parent, you are probably aware of your own issues.  Parenting just brings out the control freak, the perfectionist, the idealist, the nag, the preacher, the drill sergeant or the ostrich in us. It brings out the best and the worst, and for many years, I think we have hope that the best in us and in our kids will win out in the end.

Having teenagers does a number on parents because we suddenly realize that the finish line with this child is in sight.  In just a few short years, they will be gone, and we worry more than ever about their deficiencies and the things we want them to have--character, skills, values--before they leave home.  We renew our commitment to character-buiilding at the same time that they begin to show interest in doing without our advice and help.  In fact, they often violently reject it.

We are so concerned for their well-being and for their future, that when they reject our concern, our wisdom, and our direction, it hurts.  It makes us angry.  Then we say things we're not proud of, and we are rotten examples of the character and values we want so badly to instill.  It's humbling.

Plus we want them to like us.  They aren't little kids anymore; you can have a grown-up conversation with them and enjoy grown-up activities with them.  They can keep up with you, physically and mentally. And you've put a lot of good stuff in there over the years, and you enjoy it as it starts to come out and become uniquely their own.  You can just see the fabulous human being that's in there, behind the attitudes and dumb choices they make, and you redouble your efforts to parent them wisely and helpfully.  And they push back, and it hurts, because we care so much, and we get angry, and the painful, humbling cycle continues.

We know we have to start letting go, start letting them make some of their own decisions and their own mistakes.  They become involved in activities that take them outside of our homes.  We lose some of the control that we've always had, logistically--they have teachers assigning their workload, employers arranging their schedules, other parents giving them rides.  They start telling us their schedule instead of us telling them what our family is doing this week.

It's all normal, but it's so disorienting!  I went through a grieving period, as I realized that I would never again have all my chicks in the nest together, under my wings, under my protection and my direction. That homey, happy thing called "our family" and "homeschooling" was changed forever as my older chicks began to leave the nest for longer and longer periods of time.  Things are different even with the younger kids, as their eyes are also on the goings, comings and doings of their older siblings, and they get ideas that they should be entitled to similar privileges and practices.

Actually, I'm still grieving, still adjusting to the new norm.  I'm trying to re-form my nest around the younger three, while still supervising the fledgings who are often far from home, and it stretches me thin.  I second-guess decisions we've made: at what ages we gave them cell phones, their access to friends through texting, the music on their iPods, the movies they watch, whether we should have homeschooled them into high school.  

I keep concluding that we've made good choices, overall; so why have we had all these difficulties?  As a young parent, it was easy to assume that if we did our best as parents and kept our kids' eyes on God, then with God's help and lots of His grace, we'd navigate, as parents, as happily and hopefully through the teen years as we did through the terrible twos and threes. And part of me is clinging gratefully to the truth: that our teens do love God, and us, and want to please us both.  But another part of me is reeling from some of the other truths about my teens and their attitudes and mistakes they have made.

And I am helpless.  I can't fix them.  I can't change their histories, though I have great hope that someday these errors will be blips in their testimonies.  I see them walking with the Lord in the future, but I feel helpless to change who they are in present.

I can demand their respect, but I can't make them be respectful.  I can ask for their cooperation, but I can't make them cooperative.  I can value things that are good, true, beautiful, worthy, but I can't change their tastes and appetites for some things that are not worthy of their attention and energy.  I can love the best and the worst in them, but I can't control their thoughts, words and actions.

And I begin to second-guess myself.  Would our relationship be better if they had not been homeschooled? Were all those years of investment in them misguided?  Should I have done something different with my time and energy?  Would they be more humble if they had gone to school for junior high? (Certainly the low point of my own life.) Should I do things differently with my younger children?  Am I the problem? Would they be better off in school?

Yes, it's been painful.  It's been humbling.  I have grieved in the most tender places of my heart, and I have burned with anger in the stony places.  I have felt farther from God than I have in years, and I have felt closer, in the helpless, hopeless, wordless prayers that fill my times with Him right now.

And that's just dealing with normal stuff, folks.  They're not into drugs or alcohol or getting pregnant or even getting tattoos, although Blondechick did get her belly button pierced for her 18th birthday (with our half-hearted blessing, which she wanted, even though the whole point was to do something she didn't need our permission to do!).  Our teens are following God as well as they know how, and they are working hard in school.  They struggle with being respectful and responsible at home, but they're not in open rebellion.  It could be so much worse.

And yet, that day-to-day stuff has been so much harder than I expected.

College Concerns

I'm getting nervous.

B19, in his first semester of college, is struggling.  (I wasn't sure about going public with this, but he has, on Facebook, so I guess I can comment.)

The first semester of college is a big adjustment for most kids, and that's even more true for one who has required a fair amount of assistance throughout high school.  But I'm worried that this may be more than just an adjustment issue.  We are questioning whether full-time college is the right fit for B19, and whether we should keep on paying for it.

I know that other parents find themselves faced with the same decision, when their student is suffering from lack of motivation or priorities.  But they usually know that their child is capable of doing the work, if he or she were making good choices.  We're just not sure about B19's ability to make it through four years of college. He's having difficulty following through on some of the basics, like turning in difficult assignments, or signing up for tutoring help, and in one class, he never told us that he didn't have the book and software that he needed to do the assignments.  (He ended up having to drop it, taking him from 12 hours down to 9 hours, making those 9 credits very expensive ones.)   He has to take more than 12 hours a semester, or the overall cost becomes ridiculous, but we're unsure if he'll be able to handle much more.  And he's gained a lot of weight from eating in the dining hall.

He's now signed up for a weekly check-in with a mentor at the tutoring center, and I have asked his adviser for some assessment and her input on whether he should continue.  We're just in a wait-and-see position.

College has been a positive experience for him, and I don't regret sending him.  But we do need wisdom about whether to let him continue as a full-time, on-campus student.  It might be a better use of resources to have him live at home and take a class or two at a time, and there's a higher probability that he could be successful at that pace.  But that decision would raise many other issues, such as how he'll get to classes or to work, and how we help him become more independent in the long term. It puts responsibility for him back on our shoulders, in many ways...not that sending him to college removed it, but we had hoped that it would begin to transfer to him.

So pray with us and for us. And I'd love to hear any advice, wisdom, or experience anyone has to offer!

Blondechick's 18th Birthday Party

Let it never be said that I am an uptight mother.  Or an obsessive-compulsive house-cleaner.  Or that I never let my kids do anything. 

I now have proof-positive to the contrary.

Last night, I allowed Blondechick and B15 to host about 20 friends for a dance party in our basement, in honor of Blondechick's 18th birthday.  And not just your regular dance party.  Of course, we had loud music, kids yelling even louder and lots of groovin' and jumping around.  But to make our dance party extra-fun and extra-cool...we had glow juice.

Glow juice is what comes out of a glow stick--or glow necklace, bracelet or wand; you know, the kind they sell at amusement parks after dark?--when you bend it in half and then break it open.

You can sprinkle it all over your clothes and rub it in your hair.  You can splash it on the walls and the carpet. And when you turn out the lights, it looks REALLY cool.

I know.  My basement walls and carpet are covered with it.

When we discussed this idea, we knew, anecdotally, that the stuff disappears after a few hours.  Like the necklaces that you put in the freezer to try to keep them glowing for another day?  They never work again.

And we knew that the t-shirt that Blondechick wore when they did this at Honey Rock, the Christian camp she went to over a year ago, was fine afterward.  No stains were visible even before it was washed, and it sat around for days while she finished out the time at camp.

So I guess that's why I agreed.  Not to mention that we were at a loss for other 18th birthday party ideas we both liked.  And it sounded like good, clean (or not-so-clean) fun.

I had expected that most of the juice would go on clothes and hair, but when I peeked in the basement and saw how someone had decorated the walls and floor with it...I began to have misgivings.

But at that point, there was nothing to say but "Cool!"

Later when the kids came upstairs, hot and thirsty, for soda and some fresh air, they gave me more reasons to be nervous.  The yellow glow juice barely showed up on their white t-shirts, but the pink...and the orange...looked definitely stained.  Like, it would still be a stain, even after it stopped glowing; although it would probably come out in the wash, judging from how easily the stuff washed off hands.

Two kids told me that if we needed a cleaning crew afterwards, they could help.  I was grateful for their offer, but it did nothing to allay my growing fears about the state of my carpet.

At least we were already planning to paint the basement walls.

Well, it's Saturday morning and Blondechick and her friends are cleaning up streamers and broken glow sticks in the basement.  The regular light bulbs are screwed in again--we had only a blacklight bulb screwed in last night--and incredibly, the carpet looks stain-free.  (Feels a little sticky in places, though.)

The only evidence of the party that the carpet reveals this morning is tiny glitters of glass.  We didn't realize that inside the plastic, there is a glass tube that you break when you bend the glow stick.  Sometimes, as you pour out the juice, some glass splinters fall out too. 

Fortunately none of the kids were seriously cut, but we did stop and vacuum halfway through the evening, after someone realized it was glass that was crunching underfoot.  Ouch.

We also discovered that large quantities of activated glow juice in an enclosed space create fumes which get a little hard to breathe after awhile.  (Non-toxic, I was assured by a quick check on the internet.)

They liked the taco bar and the ice cream sundae bar--more conventional party fare.  The boys left by 11 or so, and the girls slept over.

I think Blondechick was pretty happy with her party.

Even if I had a few nervous moments, myself.

As Promised...Pictures!

I can't believe that I just figured this out.

Papa Rooster takes some pretty amazing pictures--and lots of them--more than I can keep up with--and he's gotten pretty good at posting the best on Facebook for our friends and family.  And I only just realized that I can grab a photo from his Facebook album, stick it on my desktop, and upload it to my blog--all by myself!  Without needing him to convert it from a RAW image in Lightroom to a .JPG which he must upload for me, because Lightroom doesn't like me. (A feeling which is mutual.)  He says the image quality won't be as good.  But I think only the techie photographer types will be able to tell, and the rest of us, we'll have pictures!  Yeah, baby.

Okay, let's commence with the pics!

I believe I mentioned homecoming?  Here is Bantam15 with his lovely date.

The dress was casual--can you tell?

Here's Blondechick with her special friend, the same one she went to the spring formal with. He graduated last year, but he's still around, living at home and taking classes at a local college. We like him a lot.  So does she!


And here she is with 17 other friends, in our back yard--all senior girls.  I posted this partly just to show off the background!  It's the view I am blessed with every day, and I am thankful for it.

I know I mentioned an ordination.

This is part of a wonderful family that we've loved for a long time now; Father R--'s wife there is one of my dearest friends. When I met her, she was pregnant with the daughter on the far left...and I delivered Blondechick17 just three months later.  Those girls have grown up together, just as the other daughter (second from left) is one of Bantam15's closest friends.  Those two girls are their youngest children; their middle child, another daughter, is getting married next summer and Papa Rooster will be performing the ceremony.  That is their oldest son, with his wife and child, on the right, and their second-oldest is also a son. They have always been the kind of friends we can completely let our hair down with.  We have spent countless hours laughing, crying and praying together.

Here are all the clergy who attended.  Most of these men are also friends from waaay back.  We are a little grayer, a little more wrinkled than when we first enthusiastically began doing ministry together in our twenties and thirties!  But these men, representing five Anglican churches, are still enthused and energetically full of the joy of the Lord.

I think I mentioned soccer?

That's my boy, #23, on the JV team of the Christian school he attends.

And here's Bantam11 on the area soccer league team.

He hasn't been playing as long as most of the other kids who have grown up in the league, but he's learning fast, and he can run! Always a plus.

I am totally saving the best action shots of Bantam5 for another post.

But aren't these too unbelievably cute?  Just like the big boys.

But with cool sunglasses.

Fall News

Pictures, or story?  I don't have time for both this morning. I guess we'll go for narrative--it seems like updates are overdue in many areas!

Bantam19, 30 minutes away at Trinity International University (TIU), is doing very well.  He's so happy, really enjoying college life, independence and new friends.  I went to visit him for Family Weekend.  I suspect that his friends are not deep friends, but acquaintances that he feels comfortable sitting with at meals.  But he has a lot more of those than he ever had in high school--and you have to start somewhere with any friendship--so he's happy and so are we!  He's found a church, a sister Anglican parish nearby, and he's getting rides from a seminary student; it sounds like a lot of Trinity students worship there.  He's attending all his classes, says he's keeping up with all his assignments and thinks he's doing fine on them.  He's enjoying the food a little too much, but is taking some corrective steps.  That's probably my biggest prayer request for him--that he can really own the responsibility of managing his diet and exercise now that he's away from parental help in that area.

At home, our virtual schooling is getting easier, now that we've figured out how it all works and fits together.  Bantam11 will tell you that he is really enjoying iQAcademy's 6th grade.  It seems pretty challenging, but the lessons are just short enough that he finds it manageable. Some of the more creative assignments ask for a good amount of critical thinking, vs. regurgitation of facts, so I'm really pleased at how engaged he is.

Chicklet8 has blown me away with how quickly she's caught up to second grade level work! I honestly don't know how she would have tested at the beginning of the year, but we really did not spend the time last year that one needs to spend with a first-grader, so her reading and writing were not quite up to the level that seem to be expected by the online Little Lincoln curriculum (although I now know that she's not the only 2nd grader to find it challenging).  We were spending many, many hours a day for the first couple of weeks, because her reading was slow, and she was reluctant to read much or especially to write much. I was even helping her with some of it, just to keep things from being too overwhelming.  But she's made huge leaps in both areas, and now is reading much faster and more expressively.  She's hardly reluctant at all now about her lessons, and is even reading and writing independently, just for fun (and for computer time). I'm very proud of her.

Blondechick17 is lovin' her senior year at the Christian school, and B15 is enjoying being her freshman brother. He took one of her friends to Homecoming last weekend, and she went with the same boy she's been dating for the last year or so. She's continued to work at her restaurant job on the weekends since school started.  This weekend she took off, so she could go to a statewide choir conference.  Her director was allowed to bring only two girls and two boys, so it was an honor to be invited!

B15 played JV soccer and was the high scorer for the season! Okay, he tied for high scorer with 4 other guys.  They each had one goal. Their team won one game. It wasn't a fabulous season.  But he learned a lot, and there's always next year!  He also joined the cross-country team halfway through the soccer season.  He's only run in two meets, and isn't really enjoying it. He likes running, but cross-country, the sport, is a whole 'nother thing.  Still, he's learning a lot, and I'm so glad he's had the opportunity, even at his small school, to try different things.

B5 and B11 continue to play soccer on Saturdays; B11 is learning fast, to catch up with the boys who've been playing every Saturday, spring and fall, for years--but B5 was born to play soccer, I think.  I have a whole post in mind about that...but now, I want to go catch a little of his game!


Pictures next time, perhaps...!

Sadness, Rejoicing and a Trial

Today I signed over the title of Blondechick's car--yes, the one I was agonizing about buying just a few months ago--to a junkyard.  They gave me $250 for it.  Just enough to pay the tow and storage fees after the accident and have a whole $5 left over.

It was so emotional for me to see the wrecked car, its front end crumpled, the windshield cracked and both airbags limply filling the front seasts. I cried as I gathered her belongings out of its compartments, its back seat, its trunk.  Except for the front end, it was still a really nice car.  I couldn't believe we were junking it.

Our kids are okay.  Fine, in fact.  The airbags did their job, even though that very morning, Blondechick had told me that the airbag light had come on again, like it was when we first bought the car.  At that time, the mechanic told me that if the light was on, the whole airbag system was non-functional.  But praise God, the airbags worked perfectly when Blondechick just couldn't stop in time.

She was not following too closely.  The loooong skid marks told that story.  Nor was she texting or talking on the phone, her passengers agreed.  She was not speeding, at 40 in a 45 zone.  Both boys in the car with her--her brother and his friend--said that the car ahead did not appear to be slowing down.  No brake lights, no signal...and the section of road there sloped slightly downward, perhaps altering distance perception a bit.  At any rate, she couldn't stop quickly enough.

We rejoice that no one was seriously hurt.  The other couple have neck pain, I'm told, but are otherwise unhurt.  All five people involved were taken by ambulance to a nearby trauma center to be checked out--Illinois law for the minors involved--and our auto insurance will cover their medical expenses and car repairs.

But we didn't have collision insurance on the Optima.  For what it cost per year to have collision coverage on a vehicle on which a teen is the primary driver, we figured we could buy another cheap set of wheels with the money we'd saved, if it came to that.  But we didn't plan on it coming to that after three months.

"Why, Mom?" Blondechick asked through her tears.  "Why did God let this happen?  I don't get it.  What good can come from this?  ...What can God possibly be trying to teach me from this?  I've been GOOD!"

I knew what she meant.  If this had happened back during her rebellious days, it would have been so easy to quote Ephesians 6: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you...." 

"See?" we could have said to her, "you need to obey and respect us, that it may go well with you!"

But she's been in a good place for over a year now.  She has been trying hard to please God and to please us.  So, why did God let this happen?

"Honey, the Bible makes it clear that the trials will come.  Not if, but when they come, we have a choice to make, about how we are going to bear up under it.  We can't choose what happens to us, but when bad things happen, then we have a choice about how we will suffer.

"Think about trials greater than this one.  Think of losing a child.  Imagine Bantam5 getting hit by a car.  Would we try to figure out why we deserved that?  Would we look for someone to blame?  Would we blame God, and turn our backs on Him?  Or will we choose faith and trust, that God is bigger than our suffering, than our little vantage point in time, compared to eternity and to His all-knowing kingdom perspective?

The Bible is clear that suffering is something we learn and grow from: 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  (James 1:2-4)  

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons.  ...God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.  (Hebrews 12:7, 10-11)

And I didn't mention this to her, but:

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.  (Proverbs 16:18)

This is the one that haunts me.  Looking back, I think I was overly confident that going without collision insurance was a good decision.  Yes, we got the car cheap, but by the time we fixed it up, it was quite a nice car, and an investment we probably should have protected better.  There was a certain pride in assuming that we wouldn't need that coverage, and I am regretting it now.

So we're car-shopping again, and this time we are looking at not-so-nice cars, since we don't have another $3500 to put towards one.  And it's sad.  It's humbling.  So much to rejoice in...but it's a trial.

Yes, We Started School...

...and that's about all I have time to say!

Bantam11 is enrolled in an online public school, iQ Academy.  So far, so good!  He's been able to work independently, for the most part, and he has really enjoyed his two virtual classroom sessions so far.

Chicklet7 is doing the Little Lincoln second-grade program through Wisconsin Virtual Learning (another public online school), and overall, I am impressed and pleased with it.  (I was really delighted with the large bin full of school supplies that they sent to go along with it, including math manipulatives, a microscope with mounted slides, a wooden geometry 3-D set, markers, colored pencils, paper of all sorts, letter and blend cubes, maps, workbooks, reading books, scissors, an ink pad, thermometer, calibrated scales--and waaay more.) However, it's been a challenging amount of reading and writing for Chicklet, who is a little behind, I know.  So this is really good for her, and she's enjoying it, but it's been time-consuming.

Bantam5 is just starting kindergarten, and he's been working through a numbers workbook, and coloring, and watching Chicklet's Little Lincoln videos.  I'm eager to spend more time with him once we have the hang of things with the online schools. 

Blondechick 17 and Bantam15 both started school last week and are settling in nicely to their senior and freshman years at the private Christian school they attended last year.  B15 is playing soccer on the JV team, and Blondechick is on the chapel worship team as a singer.  She was excited to also be selected to co-lead the worship team that ministers at the elementary school chapel time.  She decided to do show choir again, and she managed to convince B15 to do it too, which I could hardly believe. (When he stopped doing musical theater, I think he thought he was done with choreography forever!)  They are both in regular choir together and think it's fun to have one class together; they've started fundraising together for a March choir trip and competition in San Diego.  Blondechick is driving them back and forth to school and bringing B15 home after practices, and I am sooooo grateful.

Bantam19 is doing well at college--yay! He hasn't missed a class or an assignment yet--yay!  He's making friends and he sounds so happy--YAY!!!  He's coming home for Labor Day weekend, and we are eager to see him and hopefully hear more from him.  ("It's going well" is about as much as he volunteers, without my stream of questions.)

Well, back to school....

He's Back

Bantam15 is back from camp.  Those ten days were life-changing, and I am in such a state of wonderment, joy and thanksgiving!

God answered our prayers specifically.  B15 had a great counselor, who understood his personality and challenged him in his leadership gifts.  The boys in his cabin were good kids, really good, and they all are staying in touch through Facebook and phone calls, and planning a reunion already.  (While on the phone with one of them last night, B15 asked me for copies of Mere Christianity and The Screwtape Letters.  You can imagine how delighted I was to pull them off the shelf for him!)

But the cry of our hearts was that above all else, he would encounter God at camp.  And he did.  He had many opportunities to get alone with God, and he really prayed, for himself, at length, and he recognized God's voice speaking to him in the quiet, and in the words of his counselor and the other boys, especially in their cabin devotion times, but throughout their activities and overnight canoe trips as well.  He came back with specific things in mind that he needed to tell us, and address with his friends, and goals that will help him walk out his new resolutions.

 As a parent, I am just so grateful to God that He chose to work through this camp...that He supplied the money to send him...and that when he was begging not to go, because he would miss out on so much while he was gone, and we almost inquired if we could cancel and get our money back, that we decided to send him anyway!  That was God.  (He told me that next year, if he says he doesn't want to go, he wants us to make him.)

I am just floating in gratefulness to God, and amazement at what He's done in our teens' lives in the past year.  Both Blondechick17 and B15, when we moved here two years ago, were just at that age where, when pulled away from the accountability of their Christian friends, they were tempted to reinvent themselves and try out "the dark side" for awhile.  Without a youth group or many Christian friends, it was easy to find kids to get on the wrong path with, plus they were at that point where rebellion--throwing off the shackles of parental dependence--appealed to them.

So far, all of our teens have reached a point where we parents realize that there is little we can do about their walk with God.  We can encourage, shape, guide, direct, give advice...but ultimately, a young person has to make their faith their own, and it seems like Mom and Dad are the last ones they want to listen to about how to do that.  It's at this point that we need interventions, like camp, like the private Christian school, where peers and other adults have the opportunity to speak and reinforce the same message.  But our teens can hear it from others as they will not from us!

We have had to do a lot of forcing--had to force both kids to go to Honey Rock last year, had to force Blondechick to go to the Christian school, and B15 to go to camp again this year--but in each case, our kids have ended up thanking us for it.  In each case, we were reluctant, because of the expense involved financially and emotionally (and in the driving time commitment, too), but in each case, God had planted the conviction that this was what was needed, and we trusted that the expense would be worth it.

I remember reading She Said Yes: The Unlikely Martyrdom of Cassie Bernall, the teen girl who was asked about her faith just before she was killed in the Littleton High School shootings years ago.  In this book, her mother shared their story of Cassie getting in with a bad group of friends, and the lengths the family went to to intervene, even selling their house and moving to the other side of town to get into a different school district, and finally pulling her out of public school and sending her to a Christian school.  They switched churches, they found a good youth group, and Cassie was so transformed that she begged to return to the public school to be a light and witness there.  And that's where she was when the tragedy happened.

The thing that struck me was their commitment to intervention, despite the personal cost and sacrifice--moving!!--and the good results that came of it.  I know that book gave me courage and conviction as a parent of teens myself.  It is pretty neat to look back and see how God was working years in advance of the actual crisis!  I'm also grateful for how he led us away from a couple of "Ishmael" plans that weren't really of Him.

While we were at Honey Rock for Family Day, the last day of camp, B11 was begging to go next year.  We'd love to send him, but the cost is prohibitive, and there is another good, more affordable option that we might look at for him.  "Besides," B15 advised me, "he doesn't need it yet."  I knew exactly what he was saying:  Wait until he needs an intervention, or the spiritual boost to make his faith his own.

It was one of the several ways that he has said "thank you."  As I say, "Thank You!!"

Wheel of Thankfulness

I feel like a hamster on an exercise wheel, running and running and never getting anywhere!   My to-do list seems to grow longer and longer as the end of the school year looms.

But the truth is, I have accomplished a lot in the last few weeks.  It's time to look back and be thankful!

Over the past month...in addition to the usual round of driving to and from school, piano lessons, cornet lessons, tap/jazz/guitar lessons, and gym class...

I attended several soccer games and watched Blondechick17 make a goal!  It was a beautiful penalty kick, right over the goalie's head.  (Must post some of Papa Rooster's soccer pics.)

I spent nearly a whole day shopping with Blondechick for a full-length formal dress, and bought bracelet, earrings and shoes to go with it.  We had a lovely time, we didn't argue, we found a beautiful dress and the price was right (at the most unlikely store--we were pointed to Sears and they had a great selection of tasteful dresses!).

I made phone calls to locate and get directions to a dress shop (straight out of West Side Story, I swear) on the other side of town.  I took the dress in to be altered, I went back to pick it up, and I hope to post pictures of her in it very soon.  The Formal is tonight!

I set up and began a series of orthodontist appointments for Bantam11.  He's getting braces in a couple of weeks!  I set up a series of dental checkups for us all too, beginning next week.  (You don't think they take us all at once, do you? :)

I dealt with a lot of medical bills and insurance questions. :(

I helped others from church clean out a grimy storage room we've started using for Sunday School.  I swept, sponged, organized and labeled drawers with our supplies, while others built shelves, cleaned, sorted and rearranged.  As I described to a friend how our old church has to store everything in wooden carts that can be wheeled onto a truck, which has to be driven back and forth from the church office to the high school each week, we realized how blessed we are to HAVE this cruddy delightful old room!

I registered B15 for summer camp, made sure Blondechick registered for the ACT, looked into swimming lessons and when/how to register for those, and started to research some vacation plans. I registered us for field trips to see the Dead Sea Scrolls next week in Milwaukee and The Lion King next fall in Chicago.  B15, B11 and I attended the Stomp! show in Chicago, as a field trip with other families from our theater group's Stomp class this session.  (It was awesome!)

I sold 20 tickets to see our theater group's spring show, Snow White, even though none of my kids are in it. ;)  I've been supervising the class program one night a week, wrapping up the session (soon), and doing the planning for next year, so that my replacement, whoever that is, will be in good shape!

I helped Papa Rooster find an hour to sit down and fill out the FAFSA online (that's the federal financial aid form for college).  I've been chipping away at the other pieces needed for B19's admission to college, while B19 writes and edits his essays under Papa Rooster's eye.  We're getting closer....

I attended Blondechick and B15's choir concert and got to hear her solo at the beginning of the Celtic Woman's "The Voice."  It was remarkably beautiful.  (I know, because everyone remarked on it! :)

I visited three colleges with BC17 and B19, as my readers know.  I made a road trip to attend a wake and a funeral.  I made a meal for a family whose mom has cancer, and I've been driving her kids to school one day a week.  I visited a friend with a new baby!  (And held and held her...yum.)

I took B19 to the DMV to get his permit renewed.  Can't believe he's had it a year already!  Still having him practice behind the wheel and praying he can pass his test in June.

I helped B19 fill out and submit numerous job applications...but so far, no interviews.  I took Blondechick in to one place several times; she had an encouraging interview and thought she had a job, but hasn't received that final word yet.  The last we heard, they were still interviewing.  (sigh)  So we may be starting over again soon. 

I hosted B15's friends after they went and saw Iron Man 2 for his birthday.  It was not a party.  (No one else got a party this year.)  But I drove them both ways to the movie and served a lot of pizza, brownies and ice cream!

And I still owe my blog a birthday post for him.  And updated pictures in the sidebar...been thinking about that for ages...but I have my priorities straight! :)

Thank you, Lord, for the many blessings in the busy-ness:  the hugs and kisses, the sunny days, the smiles, the strength and support of my husband, my gas-sipping Prius to do all this running around in.  Thank you for the fruits that will come of my labors: straight teeth, a useful storage/Sunday School room, knowledge, experience, fun and lots of memories.  I pray for these fruits to come to harvest: driver's licenses, college, jobs.  Thank you, Lord, for health, strength and endurance for the race you've set before me.

May the favor of the Lord, our God, be upon us;

Let the work of our hands prosper,

O prosper the work of our hands.

Psalm 90:17

College Questions

Blondechick and I sure had a great time visiting Wheaton College.  More accurately, she visited Wheaton; I visited with friends!

And it was probably more helpful to me than sitting on an Old Testament class, because it gave me a chance to process--out loud, which always helps me--some of the decision points we are facing in the coming months.  A big one is whether a Christian college education is worth the cost.

When I was choosing a college, it never ever crossed my mind that I might want to choose a state school or a secular private college.  I think I must have instinctively guessed that if I was going to leave the security of my church and family and become independent, it would be good to be surrounded by Christians as I first spread my wings.  I didn't think of a Christian college as shelter, but as support--like warm, friendly air currents to help me lift off.  Storms may come later on, but you want nice weather when you're first learning to fly!

Of course, I also chose the college I did because I thought the professors there would be academically excellent, and good mentors as well.  I hoped to make Christian friends there that I would have for the rest of my life--which happened!--Papa Rooster included!  I wanted to gain a Christian perspective on the world, and I read so many good books, heard so many good speakers, had so many stimulating conversations that all brought me much further along in my adult faith.

And I see Bantam19 and Blondechick17 and I think of launching them from our home...and I want, for Blondechick especially, what I received.  She wants it too, and the expense seems like a good investment.  But B19 is a more confusing case.

Because of his autism, we're not as certain that he can handle a full course load.  We're also not sure how well he will function independently--whether he can manage time, money and priorities--and we have little sense of what direction to steer him.  There is no clear area that he's gifted in or passionate about that will translate to a career, that we can identify yet.  So it seems unwise financially to start him out in a traditional college setting.  What he wants is to live at home, work and take a few classes in computers, and that seems like a good plan to us.

But are we short-selling him?  If he were able to complete a four-year degree--and surely we could find a school where he could pass classes as he's done successfully all through high school--his options after college would be greater.  He would benefit as much as Blondechick from a Christian environment while he transitions toward independence. 

And there are several potential hitches in our current plan.  One is if he's unable to get a driver's license.  Then how will he get to a job, or get to class?  There are buses, but I'd have to drive him and pick him up at the nearest (not so) bus stop.  He'll attempt to pass the driver's test in June, and God could surely smooth the way before him...but how likely is he to get a job if he can't say that he has a driver's license?  And if he doesn't have a job, what will he do all day?  He'll play around on the computer and watch reruns of Star Trek, if we let him.  So we should keep him busy taking classes, but where?  The local community college?  The local state school?  Maybe it makes more sense to have him live in a dorm and take more classes, if he doesn't have a license or a job...and we're back to the original question of whether the Christian environment is worth the cost?

Lord, you know the plans you have for him, plans to prosper him and not to harm him, plans to give him a hope and a future.  Reveal to us, Lord, what we need to know to put him on the right path.  Go before him and prepare the way--the license, the job, the education--if these are things you have planned for him, and give us the patience, the trust and the faith we need to wait for your timing on these.  And if they are not in Your plans for him, prepare the alternatives--and open our eyes to see them and our ears to hear about them.  Give him direction when he prays, Father.  Help him to hear your voice and follow it.  You made our son.  You love him and you have a future for him.  Help me trust and not be anxious.  Amen.

Family News

What's new?

Bantam19 just brought home his cap, gown, tassel and a box of graduation announcements, prompting me to call up the place that took his senior pictures for the yearbook and get that order in for wallet-size pics to include in his announcements. This is coming up too fast!

Blondechick17 just tried out for the girls' soccer team at her Christian school, knowing that everyone makes it and assuming she'd be on the JV team. (She hasn't played since 5th grade.) To our surprise, she did well in tryouts and was put in as a floater between the varsity and junior varsity teams! Then she got the bad news that because she was a transfer student, she's not allowed to be on varsity until next year. (AS IF they had recruited her to play soccer!) So--only JV games for her this year. A bummer, but not an entirely bad thing, her parents think, given our busy schedules, plus now she'll start every game on JV. We are so proud of her for trying something new and pushing herself athletically!

Bantam14's big news was getting his braces off! Now he can't stop smiling. But also, with BC17 busy at soccer practices, Bantam14 had a decision to make about their biweekly guitar class, which she had to drop. The "class" would now consist of just himself--would he continue? Bantam14 and the teacher had a frank conversation, and the outcome is that they are both excited about B14 continuing alone--in fact, the teacher offered to extend the biweekly lesson from 45 minutes to an hour, at no extra charge. They are both there anyway--he waits for his next student, and B14 waits for B11's tap class and Chicklet7's jazz class to finish up--but he offered because he likes B14, who is now psyched to spend more time practicing, in lieu of doing theater this spring. He's already made great strides!

The youngest three just started taking a gym class for homeschoolers, taught by the PE students at nearby Carthage College, and they love it. It was so fun to see B5 exuberantly playing all the parachute games. (Wasn't that your favorite day ever, back in elementary gym class?)

B11 and Chicklet7 are beginning a new session of classes with our Christian kids' theater group, but B11 did not audition for this session's production. (Because Mom needs to free up some time and mind space--gotta focus on taking B19 and BC17 to look at colleges and apply for summer jobs!) But Chicklet auditioned, "for experience only," a courtesy the group allows 7-year-olds who've been in the program, who will be old enough to audition "for real" next time. She sang "Tomorrow," from Annie, and despite her butterflies and shaky knees, she introduced herself and sang loudly and clearly just like we practiced! She stayed right on pitch and didn't forget any words. She forgot to smile, she was so nervous, but we were so proud of her!

I am keeping close tabs on my blood pressure. I just bought a nice digital home monitor at Aldi, of all places! We realized that another medication that I've been on has "high blood pressure" listed as a possible side effect, so I am hoping that once it completely clears my system, mine will go back to normal. It could take a few months, and meanwhile I'm on blood pressure meds. I have to watch not to get dehydrated, but otherwise, I'm feeling fine physically. A little stressed, a little too busy this year--with a part-time job, all the driving to and from school, and continuing to homeschool as well--but the end is in sight, now that spring is upon us: Blondechick17 will be taking her driver's test in just a few weeks, the part-time job will end, and we have the whole summer to catch up on school!!

Nothing's really new with Papa/Father Rooster--he just continues to balance both roles so well, even when things get stressful at work and ministry places demands on him too. He handles difficult situations with such love, diplomacy, honesty and tact--I am continually amazed! He is uniquely gifted to manage all that he does, and he does business and ministry both so well. He was a favorite presenter at the San Antonio conference--as he usually is at these events--and it was fun for me to see him in his business context, so different than the usual Sunday morning ministry role that his family is accustomed to seeing him in. He is such a gift to our family and our church.

And that's the news...for now!

Teen Report

Writing about B19's birthday made me realize how long it's been since I've updated on the teens in our home!

With his graduation from high school looming, there is so much to be done. The first thing, we hope, is getting his driver's license. He's been putting in the hours and probably has logged enough, but passing his driving test may be a bigger hurdle than we thought, as he is just not very comfortable behind the wheel and may have trouble processing the instructor's auditory instructions, especially in a stressful situation like a test. But he really needs to be able to get himself to work and classes, so we are praying and trying to give him lots of opportunities behind the wheel.

The next domino will be getting a job, so he can help pay for car insurance, gas and the computer classes he'd like to take beginning next fall. We need to investigate his local options: there is UW-Parkside, which has both 2- and 4-year degrees, College of Lake County (IL), a community college, and Gateway Tech, which offers various certifications and degrees. He's planning to live at home while working and taking classes, and we'll appreciate his continued help with chores, babysitting and errands, once he gets his license. Lots of transitions ahead for him and us--prayer appreciated!

Now, Blondechick17. You may recall that she half-reluctantly agreed to transfer to a Christian school this year, as a junior. Well, she ended up being SO grateful and SO thankful that we urged her to switch! She's made many new friends. She likes her teachers. She especially enjoys being in concert choir, but her favorite thing about her new school is CHAPEL. "Why is it only once a week?" she complains every Thursday, after telling me about the amazing speaker or the awesome worship or whatever it was that God used to speak to her during that time. Her faith is growing stronger and more solid every week, and we feel so grateful to God for the way He is answering our anxious prayers of over a year ago. Those concerns couldn't be aired on this blog, of course, but they were very real, and she is as grateful as we are for how God has turned her life toward a better path. But it was she who submitted to Him and to us, and we are so encouraged and proud of her!

She is keeping busy with homework--LOTS of it--more like what we'd expect of a college prep course of study, and then some! Outside of school hours, last fall she rehearsed every weekend for her part as the Sour Kangaroo in Seussical, and also helped out as an aide in the Beginning Musical Theater class. She choreographed both numbers that the class performed in their final Showcase, which was a new and great experience for her. She's aiding again this winter session in the same class but opted not to audition for Mulan, so she could join Show Choir and Student Government at her school. She's been taking guitar lessons too, all year, and she just finished Driver's Ed classes, although she's had her permit since November. She should be getting her license in April--look out!

Bantam14, you remember, pushed us to let him go full-time, not just part-time, in the 8th grade at the same Christian school as Blondechick. Our biggest concern was the adjustment to the homework load, and sure enough, that has been a struggle for one who isn't the fastest at handwriting or keyboarding or skimming textbooks or catching on to math concepts. But we have seen such perseverance and diligence in this young man! Even when he is feeling overwhelmed, he plugs doggedly away.

He's doing very well in his classes, considering, and he really likes the school--the kids, the teachers, chapel, and especially gym. They've been playing one team sport after another, and his height and maturity, age-wise, have given him an enjoyable advantage. He's also taking choir, at our urging and with the strong encouragement of his older sister, and at the Fall Concert, he looked so handsome in his white shirt, black vest and black bow tie. He sounded good too!

He's also attending theater classes and rehearsals, taking guitar lessons with Blondechick, and in his spare time, he likes to listen to music and trade albums and band recommendations with friends--mostly Christian bands, but other worthwhile ones too. At least, the ones he shares with us are worthwhile, and we have to try to stay on top of the rest.

Ah, the joys of having teenagers! They are a daily challenge (nightly too--as when they ask you to help them study for a test at 11 p.m. on Sunday night), but it is rewarding and exciting to see them progressing spiritually, academically, and relationally, becoming their own persons more and more every day. I thank God for them and pray for the wisdom and the patience I need to get through each day with them. And I praise God for how He is able to fill in for my lacks!

Hanging in There

Thank you, everyone, who's been doing just that, waiting on me to come back from my too-busy-to-blog break!

I should do a birthday post today for Miss Chicklet7, whose birthday was on Sunday. But her pictures are on the home computer and I have too much other news anyway. (Next time!)

I feel like the last six weeks has been one big educational switch-a-roo after another, and the last week surprisingly, held one more. One-and-a-half weeks into our new schedule of taking Pre-Algebra and Art at the private school, doing homeschool for the rest, Bantam14 and I had to evaluate whether this arrangement was really going to work. The bottom line was that he really did not want to be homeschooled; he wanted to go to the private school full-time. We thought the workload would be too difficult for him, and we thought our original plans for his 8th grade homeschool year would be the best preparation for high school for him. But he was being passively resistant to my homeschooling efforts, so we weren't accomplishing much without a big struggle--and on the other hand, we felt like it was the wrong message to tell him that we are afraid that the private school will be too overwhelming for him. In fact, the more we prayed about it, we felt that perhaps if this is the challenge he wants, he'll probably rise to it, and we should give it to him.

So he started on Tuesday, and he's enjoying it. He's had a lot of homework to catch up on, and I've had a lot of catching up to do as well--with my own feelings!

I am feeling a lot of sadness that it seems like our tight-knit little family homeschool days are over. My three teens are all in that pulling-away stage, and I can't expect them to have time or interest in listening to me read aloud anymore, or sitting around companionably doing workbooks.

I am feeling...a little bit like a failure? I've always thought that I was capable of guiding my kids' education all the way through high school. There are so many great possibilities, with dual enrollment, for homeschooled high schooolers to start college with college credits already under their belts. I believe in home education! But my teens have not been very academically motivated without the classroom element, and I don't know if this is a failure on my part, or if it's just their temperaments and our particular situation. For example, if we had stayed in our old home in Illinois, there were a lot more classroom opportunities for high schoolers in our old homeschool group, plus they'd have had their friends in our old fully-developed theater group to fill those social needs.

So, it's just a change that took me by surprise. Part of me wishes I had known earlier; I might not have entered Chicklet7 in public school for first grade. But she's loving it, and I'm basically comfortable with that decision, for this one year at least, and things have been so crazily busy that another part of me is hugely relieved that I only have one at home to neglect teach. Fortunately, Bantam10 is my best example of an unschooling type who reads widely and randomly, and works on projects of his own making. He's currently authoring a book about a superhero called the Shadow--each chapter ends with a cliffhanger. And he's a great companion to Bantam4.

In other news, my parents visited for Labor Day weekend and we had a relaxing visit with them...and the day after they left, our baby theater group had its first night of classes! We had 64 enrolled. The parents stayed for an informational meeting, and we held an audition workshop afterwards, to give everybody a confidence boost for the upcoming auditions for Seussical. The Lord did provide a dance teacher, with a week to spare--praise God!--and there was a palpable buzz of excitement in the air at classes, coming from kids and parents alike, so that was encouraging! We are still praying for a few more enrollments before auditions, which are Sept. 18.

If you are so moved, that is a prayer request, and the other is for me personally. We have stumbled into this school year, with so many changes and different start times, plus my official job with the theater group beginning, and I just need to find my footing as far as a schedule goes. I have been living from must-do to must-do since summer began, and now with only one to teach during the day, plus a job to think about, and more kids with homework at night, my fall schedule feels so topsy-turvy from what I'm used to! That's one reason I haven't been blogging--besides being so busy, my rhythms are all off.

Things at church are picking up for the fall as well, with a lot of visitors the last two Sundays. We are resuming the Sunday School hour again, after a summer hiatus. We have a Fall Kickoff meeting that the whole church is invited to this Saturday, and next week, we are ordaining two men to the transitional diaconate (which means they'll be deacons, on their way to being ordained as priests). One of them is a young man that we are so excited about, who has been serving at Light of Christ since he graduated from seminary, along with his wife, who is the daughter of dear friends of ours. The other is one of our oldest and dearest friends, and we are thrilled to be ordaining him through Light of Christ. He has such a pastoral heart and has encouraged so many others on the path to ordination--including Father Rooster--and it is exciting to see him finally joining them.

Well, back to life...back to work...back to the laundry...upward and onward!!